Saturday, August 2, 2008

Today I weep............

Water is cleansing. It is nourishing and refreshing, it washes us and makes us new, it baptizes us, it cools us- truly life giving stuff. Today I suppose it is my day to cleanse my eyes- because no matter what happens, it seems to make me cry.

First- I am tired. And that is probably adding to my problem.

Second- that stupid pioneer woman that my friends have me hooked on has done nothing but talk about newborns for days. My heart is so heavy, because even though I am tired I can not shake the feeling that someone is missing from my family. That possibly there is another little person that God has planned for us. That I just need to be pregnant one more time. That I just need one more baby. One more sweet little baby, with little lips and undeveloped senses. But I do like sleeping- so that helps curb that desire. That and the fact that Dan thinks I've lost my mind. Dan very surely does not want to have another baby (right now, he says- but I think he means 'or ever'). That's that- I will move on.

Third- my friend Shelley and her sweet children. I am a blessed woman, God has provided the best group of women to be my best friends through our church. Shelley is one of them. She has had to fly to pick up her niece from a visit with her father- and she has trusted me with the other three of her children. That means a lot to me. Shelley is a good woman- who through certain circumstances has been left here to raise 4 children by herself while her husband single handedly tries to save the world. He's fighting this stupid war, I know, I know, that's not the right thing to say- but today it seems so stupid that he has to be there for a year fighting a war that has seemed to lost its purpose. A whole year- wow. And Shelley handles it with such grace- more grace that I could ever ever ever muster. I don't even do well when Dan works an hour over. And God took their two nieces mother from them, which is also not fair. But I'm not questioning His decision, I'm sure it was not a mistake. So Shelley and her husband have brought them into their home to share their umbrella. Then her husband pitched a new umbrella in the desert for a year- a whole half world away from Shelley's umbrella- but I will stop going there. Shelley and the girls share an aweful lot in common, and this year somehow it makes sense (in a really strange way) that they are here now with her. So I suppose prayers would be really nice- for all 6 of them, as all of the various circumstances have made this year to be very hard for each of them (in different ways).

So I guess that sums it up, today I am weepy. But enough of that- back to water! Here they are folks, the Future Farmers of America. Due to the excessive heat (I have other names for it as well- but none are pleasant- it is just blasted hot!) we have been trying to drag water out to the garden. This is not an easy task as it is 40+ acres..............
Well, not exactly that big, more like 40 square feet.

But look at that little face, this is not an easy task. Water, in addition to all it's nourishing factors, is heavy. And this little gal is giving it everything she's got- but rest assured she made it there and shared her live giving juice with our tomato plants (all four of them!)
And here are our award winning pumpkins. I have had all kinds of farmers contacting me to find out what our secret it, not really. But they probably will. Once the pumpkins actually begin to grow that is. There are 5ish plants and the vines are going crazy. And they are full of blooms. Come on little pumpkins, we need you to be giant and carvable by October!
Ah ha! And here are our summer squash. See them, there are two beautiful yellow beauties just hanging in there. The problem is I have no idea how to tell when to pick them. So currently our plan is this- wait for them to rot, then we will know to pick them just before that future. Unless one of you knows when to pick them (help me please).
Emily is my best farm hand. She will fill and drag water all day long. But oh, it is soooo very heavy............
she can hardly hold it up high enough to make the water come out.............
but her persistence pays off and she gets the job done!

So I will suck it up, dry my eyes and move on. After all, I have squash that needs squishing, kids that need playing, grass that needs mowing and fun to be, well had. But before I go- where were the other 3 children I was supposed to be caring for you are wondering.............Here they are, the NOT Future Farmers of America. Isaac choose to play video games instead of partaking in our farming adventure (considering it was 97*, he was probably the wisest of all of us)

And Olivia and Allyson choose to play tennis.

Crazy girls!

1 comment:

Ronda said...

Darlin', take a breath, go to your backyard swing, focus on the here and now. That's all. It's Saturday...not the day to try to take on the world. I think that's reserved for first of Octember. No more weeping...unless you're watching "The Notebook".