Sunday, August 31, 2008
So- today I thought it would be fun to share 15 things I've learned about life in general after having children. Drum roll please:
1. Corn Starch does not vacuum up well.
2. Anything can be flushed down a toilet- it's the aftermath that is a problem.
3. A trip to the dentist rates higher than a vacation. 30 minutes of solitude. Awesome.
4. Grocery shopping alone is a luxury.
5. NEVER let one of your offspring sip from your beverage- you will regret it. Keep your drink sacred- trust me. I'm considering switching to black coffee just so I can keep it to myself.
6. Telling a child 'the mosquitoes will eat you up' is a HUGE mistake- that you will regret for the rest of your entire living days.
7. Using the restroom in the middle of the night is not worth the risk of waking a child- it is better just to lay there and hold it. Even if it is 4am- just stay put until the sun comes up.
8. Not all vehicles are 'slim jimable'- and when the firemen break even a small window it breaks into no less than 3076 pieces.
9. A diaper truly can hold up to 36 cups of fluid- but you really don't want to test that.
10. The average expected life of a doorbell is 7438 rings- or 35 days if you have a 4 year old.
11. No two belly buttons are the same.
12. A swallowed nickel will reproduce itself within approximately 22 hours.
13. Nickels do not flush down the toilet.
14. Milk- if allowed to- will eventually separate into 3 basic 'forms'. None of which are attractive.
15. Strangers will give you dirty looks if your small children are permitted to play tag in the produce section at the grocery. Which is a bit of a catch 22, as how else are you to get the time to select produce, which said children will not eat anyway?
16. If there were a 16, it would be that Children don't frolic.
Just for the record- I happen to like my newnotsametotallydifferent life. I would not change one single thing (except for Sam's diaper). But I do have to wonder what in the heck I did before I had children when I was so 'busy'.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Now, the 'What????????' title does not refer to the aforementioned photo. It is in reference to John McCains running mate. As you all know, I don't know what I am. Republican, Democrat, Presbyterian, Slacker, who knows. I can not even select a brand of green beans to purchase- let alone 'title' myself. But put one of the political parties on 'clearance' and I'm there. It's how I make all major decisions- by waiting for one to go on clearance.
That is a problem, and probably nothing I would want to put here for everyone to know. But I will do it anyway. It is the truth. It's part of who I am. And if all of my selections of whatever I am trying to purchase (sofas, vehicles, garden plants, comforters, corn) are all full price- I will buy none. Can not make a decision, that is me.
So this morning I see that John McCain has selected Miss Alaska (I struggle to remember my loved ones names- she doesn't stand a chance of being remembered by me) to be his running mate. She is very pretty- very sophisticated in a 'soft' kind of way- very warm looking- her glasses were shiny- she has some political background- nice shoes. I don't really care about any of that- what struck me is "Mother of 5". I thought to myself "wow, a mother in the white house- she'll be able to get it all done, at the same time, while wearing her pajamas and packing a baby on her hip".
Then I noticed this small child- what could she have been- 5ish? following her 'mom'- our 'vice-presidential republican candidate' around the stage. "McCain and Miss Alaska will begin their 40 day campaign tour" the man began to tell another story. 40 days? 40 days? How in the sam heck is this woman going to leave her home for 40 days? I thought her children were older- maybe graduated and moved out- but obviously not as evidenced by this 'mini miss alaska' shadowing her around.
Not her home- obviously absense is nothing a gigantic cleaning service can not fix (we all know that our hubbies- although they really really really try- can not possibly do 'it' how 'we' like 'it'- no offense to mine in case he actually reads this little snippit of my random ramblings).
So-back to where I was- Not her home, but her children. I notice some of Miss Alaskas children are older- and apparently birthing off spring of their own. So she is also a grandma (what a hot grandma I might add)- but I will touch on that in a bit (the grandma, not her hotness). But what about the back to school festival she will miss, the soccer games, the girl scout camping trip, the argument over what outfit to wear for school pictures, the homework, the quest for her youngests 'favorite' shirt when her bus is due in 23 seconds, the snack bucket- what about her children and their super important children issues that will only come once before they grow up like super inflatable rafts? How is she going to do all that? How, how, how?
And how is she going to decorate christmas trees and bake big loaves of breads with strange things in them that the grandchildren wouldn't touch anyway? That is her duty as a grandma, how is she going to do her 'grandma' as 'vice president grandma mom'? Although it's been a few years since I was vice president- I would imagine it is an all consuming job- to say the least. Does it leave time for pumpkin planting and baking?
Please don't go off on a tangent about me being a moran and how womens rights and such- blabbity blabbity blabbity. There is an OBVIOUS message here- although women can serve well in the corporate world and for the most part possess a better ability to handle certain things as well as, if not better than men (no offense- I'm just pointing out that women can do anything- like super heros in skirts and mustard stains)- the message is that she is needed by her children. In my opinion.
I just wonder what she will be sacrificing in her home in order to 'run the country'. For that, I feel sorry for her. Or us? And of course her children? Don't know. Again, I have no doubt she could do it- I just wonder why she wants to. When McCain called me, I just told him my children were still too little and I needed a few more years. Maybe in 2017, he understood.
I am not Joan Cleaver- although I have been mistaken several times. But I do think that although we (non penis bearing humans) are capable of doing it all- do we really want to? I kind of like knowing all the stuff about my children, and that there are marbles in that drawer under the stove (what is that drawer for anyway), and that they ate sliced american cheese for lunch, and that there is no sand in the sandbox because it has all been relocated to my deck, and that Sam squeels when a butterfly comes close, that Allyson can not find enough cicada shells and that Emily planted pumpkins in the flower bed. I am the vice president of this empire- my sticky, noisy empire.
For me- I feel that God has asked me to take care of these three strange creatures (four if you count Dan). And although I fail them miserably most of the time, I am honored and will continue to try to do better. And because they give me the opportunity to try again, I know that somewhere in this mess I am not completely screwing it up.
We all joke about our children being the president, but in all honesty, I have no real desire for any of my children to take on that role. Because then I would have to find a dress that would make me look sophisticated AND skinny- which is impossible. Too much stress- being the mother of the president. Everyone would be analysing my ways and methods- and their quirks and obserbities- and then 'they' (the garbage scouring press people) would stumble upon this blog and use all of these silly photos and stories against them. Which would point back to be being the bad mother that I am afraid I might be. And then what if they dig up details about my childrens lives that I DON'T want to know (first loves, flamable herbs, naked protests, no thanks).
Nope- I just want them to do something that makes them happy. And I want to bake strange breads for their children. In my pajamas. And I want them in my home as often as possible, with their sticky children and their not-good-enough spouses (how could they possibly be good enough?)
More power to Miss Alaska, maybe her mom is around and can step in, or maybe she has a nanny, or a super fabulous stay at home husband, or maybe just plain old super powers? I'm not judging, just sayin. Can you imagine her in her kitchen cooking spaghettios and grilled cheese while on the phone with the Emperor of China? Is there an Emperor of China? I can not even call the insurance company without interupting 3042 times to ask my children to stop hitting, talking, throwing, screaming, piano playing, tv turning up to louding, begging. Would love to be a fly on the wall of that kitchen............
Friday, August 29, 2008
Whatever the reason, he was just simply not sleepy. So- since I am not going to allow my children to develope any bad habits around here, it was time to put my foot down and show this child who is boss. We curled up in the recliner and watched 'Max and Wooby'. Within a few minutes he was asleep- but it felt so good to just hold him that we stayed there until after midnight. I have probably bought and paid for the future nights with a little man who won't stay in bed- but I will take a moment just to say IT WAS WORTH IT.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Allyson's big homework project for this week was to make a sheet about herself. I just have to share. I was giddy excited to see what she came up with. Somehow now that she has grown to this ripe old age of 8 I feel just a smidge farther from her than when she were, say, 3. So needless to say it was exciting to see what she created about the young woman she is becoming. I forget sometimes that she is only 8, and I expect way too much from her. I hate that about myself. I expect her to act older than she is. I am working on that. But look at how very sweet she is- and her favorite things. Awesome.
I will never tire of being her mom (or any of their moms of course). She is so funny in a special Emily kind of way. What a hoot.
Completely different subject: I stopped at Toys R Us this morning while we were out. They are having a 'clearance sale'. Now I know better- their stuff is so over priced that even on 'clearance' it's still kind of pricey. Sometimes. Depends on what you can find. So that's why I stopped.
I had a question, so I approached a gentleman sitting at the baby registry desk. I stood there and waited for him to address me. I didn't want to interupt what he was doing, so I just stood there. I am not by any means hard to see, and my children are not quiet. He knew I was there. He did finally look at me- but I kid you not- he did not say a word. So being the mature adult that I am, I just stared at him, wondering when he might actually muster a word or something (hello, how can I help you, what are you looking at, go away- anything). Nothing. Me- still staring. Him- staring at me and actually walking away from me. Smartie Pants Toys R Us Man! I finally broke and asked if I could ask a question or if he was not-questionable. My husband said I was being snippy! To heck with all of them and their crazy snail in their pants ways. HELLO- WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CUSTOMER SERVICE? I will hang this up now- just needed to get that off my chest.
Could be another post yet today. Don't know yet. I have a lot to say today. We'll see.
Two years doesn't seem like that long of a time- but jeez look at how the children have changed. This is all of us. And that bench has a plaque with my dads name on it. The year he died the city of South Haven offered sponsorships of benches- my dad loved south haven, and he loved sitting on all of its various benches waiting on my mom to quit gabbing, shopping, browsing and come back out of all the little stores so they could walk to the next bench and she could gab, shop or browse some more. I love the idea that there is this bench in that place. And we will find it and have another picture, similar to this one, taken.
I figure lets give it a try.
Emily, who wears swim suits pretty much non stop, is also ready for the beach. Either that or Sports Illustrated Swim Suit edition.
So that just leaves this one little detail, this one little 50 lb detail. Any takers for an over night dog sitting adventure? All interested parties can submit their application via this blog site and the winner will be notified by a 50 lb. beagle arriving at your front door on Sept 13 : ) Just kidding.?!. Or am I?
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
And since I am going there, I just want to say how thankful I am that my mom is willing to come down and watch the kids while I go 'air show'. I would never have agreed to do this and take the kids to daycare. Originally, the plan was for me to take them with me. For crying out loud, I generally only work 12 hours a week. How hard could that be? My good friend Ronda tricked, uh, I mean told me how easy it was to take the kids to work with her. After all I was just supposed to 'answer the phones'. That just didn't last, and was not possible. I still take them with me quite a bit, but it's never a productive day when I do. So I am grateful my mom comes and watches them so I can go. And the kids love it too.In my pre-emily and pre-sam life, I was the event coordinator for the show. It has been so hard to come back to the event and not want to step up and do the same job I did before. But I can give no more than 12 hours a week, and my children sucked out my brains when they grew in my womb- so I am more tired and stupider now than I used to be. But still smart enough to draw my line in the sand and say 'can't do it dude!' If it were 4 years from now, I would love to take back over my 'old' role. But for now, I'm just spending my days trying to restrain myself. As much as I loved my job- I love my children more and for now I want to keep my focus on them. Can you tell I have been struggling a lot with being back at work? I trust God, I gave this decision to him before I made it to return part time, and now I'm just laying low waiting to make sure I didn't ignore His 'real' answer. I do that a lot you know, take something I think might be from God and decide it's his answer and run with it- only to second guess myself later and realize maybe he wasn't saying that after all. If only God had email or post it notes so that this all could just be a bit more clear. Any who.(I have no idea what I was pointing at- but can't you just imagine Jesus himself decending out of those clouds? I'm sure probably a plane went by- but I am not a 'professional photog' so I just basically point and shoot- which means the plane blasted by and I missed it waiting on my stupid cameras delay : )
Talk about a rough job- that is a woman on top of that plane. A cute, little, skinny, 50ish woman who wears fabulous shoes standing on top of that plane. No ropes, no straps, no strings, shes' just letting the wind, force and gravity hold her on. I digress- back to my stupid job (although I think hers is stupider!) I am adjusting to being back- this was air show #2 since I returned. All in all, that makes me present and accounted for a grand total of 8 out of 12 shows. But I just want to be their mom. Not all the air show committee peoples mom, my children's mom. Felt like that needed some clarification. So again, I just will sit back and wait to see what happens. Not sure how much longer my mom will want to watch them either. Sometimes she seems to not 'love' it- which makes me feel really bad because I really would prefer to be with them.
Sam let out a whoop when this bad boy taxied by. He is so sweet, and such a little man. Since my entire entry is just basically whining- I will continue as I would not want to let you down. I want to say that I am a big girl and because I am such a Proverbs 31 woman I can handle Dan's new work schedule with grace and joy- but that would be a big giant lie. I miss having him home. Eating dinner alone with the kids is usually fun, as we have goofy stuff like pasta or soup because Dan generally wants his MEAT, and it's usually once in a great while. So to occassionally have him gone makes for a fun dinner. But this is now the norm, and we miss him. I am a 'everyone at the dinner table' kind of gal, and it doesn't seem right to not have our evening meal as a family. Not to mention, no matter what I cook, no one eats it. Last night I made rigattoni, and Emily ate her garlic toast, allyson didn't eat anything (she's off the hook due to the flu) and sam ate 2 bites and then threw the tomatoes on the floor. It seems like such a waste of my time. I shoud just take the food right from the fridge and throw it in the trash. Then again, I could just throw it away at the grocery and save the expense, let alone the time to drag it home and put it away. They ended up eating oreo cookies for dinner. And I'm afraid that is as good as it's going to get for a while.So I get it now. I understand why Shelley is always so willing for me to stay for dinner when I bring it. It's not because I am a fabulous cook and she loves my food- It's because she's lonely without Dave- an adult to help with the kids and talk about 'whatever' with. I knew this, I got it, but now I understand. The thought of going the next 4 months with Dan on this schedule is overwhelming and painful. But he has a good job, and it will all balance in the end. I'm just being a big ginormous baby. So Shelley and I will both get our husbands back at the first of the year. Until then, I will continue to cry and have big tantrums, and Shelley will continue on with such grace and calmness. She's a better woman than me, and I'm okay with that. I have such wonderful friends that surround me, and I am proud to be the 'crying maniac woman' one of the bunch. Because you are my friends, I will do that for you.
Tonight is Emily's back to school night. She can hardly wait. She's asked 4 times while I've been typing this if it is time to go yet. It's going to be a long day.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
So it occurred to me this morning that I never posted the pictures of Sam's new room. So here it goes.
Here is his 'before' room. Less the full size bed. Just imagine it is still there- right there where the white comforter is balled up on the floor. Okay, now we're up to speed.
This is the room I painted for Emily. Accidentally it was painted a pale elephant grey (I had a different color selected for this room and got the cans mixed up. The upstairs playroom got painted the color that was supposed to be this room- but as it turns out it too is a different shade of grey. I spend hours upon hours selecting all of the paint for our house when we moved in and somehow managed to paint the entire damn thing 14 shades of gray. whatever.). When I found out Miss Emily was on the way (of course then it was Mr. or Miss Emily as we didn't know 'what' she was) I decided that the nursery needed pale polka dots all along the edge. For whatever reason, it was kind of hard to paint over those polka dots. But enough of that.
Here it is. These pictures make it look like it really needs something on the walls. I will work on that. And that he needs a window valance, I'll work on that too. Regardless- just look past that. Please. Look past the obvious water spots that must be on my camera lens too. Please.
And here is Allyson on Sam's new bed- she is home puking today, yeah. But not on Sam's new bed. She was warned. And over there in the right corner, that's Emily thinking I was taking her picture. And this is him, the newly roomed boy, staging an escape for 'key kat' from his crib. You notice the crib is still up because this little man still prefers to sleep in it. And I'm okay with that. I kind of even like it. Someday it will get taken down, and he'll have tons of extra floor room. When he's 12.Mission accomplished, 'key kat' is free.And here is Miss Thing- who had staged herself on top of the toybox anxiously awaiting her photo op. What a beautiful young lady. I love her. And her dress makes me thirsty for a margarita.This was my three little bed bugs the first night Sam's room was 'together'. They all wanted to sleep in his new bed. It lasted for about 30 minutes before emily and allyson were returned to their beds (way too much giggling) and sam requested to go to his crib.And this is a giant, huge chip in the paint- already. Bunch of crap. I will never ever ever take the time to get all that painting junk out to fix this. I will just stare at it every time I'm in his room and remind myself that I need to. Great.
So that is that- his kind of finished room. Or at least his newly painted and new comfortered room. I've got to go look for something to hang on his walls. It really looks far less deserted in person, at least I think. Whatever.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Air Show: it's over, it was hot, attendance was down (which was expected without the jet team), it did not rain (even if it was the hottest days on record for the summer-beggers can't be choosers), I am alive, there is one heck of a mess out at the airport. Enough of that.
Water: our well quit working Saturday night. After a LONG day at the hottest show on earth- I came home to a house of sick children and no option for a shower. We stayed in a hotel Sunday night just because everyone was stinky and needing washed, and I was weeping and tired and overwhelmed. It was nice, kind of like a mini vacation (except the leave the hotel by 8am thing so we could rush to school this AM). On Dan's drive in the neighborhood to meet the well guy (thanks Rick for giving us direction on who to call) he noticed two other neighbors with well guys in their drives. Whatever happened, it beats me. Good news is ours is now functioning and it was not near as expensive as it could have been. Something must have happened though- right? Three wells all go out on the same night- our well guy says it's not connected, I think it's too much to be coincidence. Oh well!
Kids: Emily and Allyson (and Sam) all still have that nasty cough. Took Emi to the doctor today though because her little lungs just can't handle it. But so far so good, her oxygen level is still okay- so hopefully she will kick this bad bug on her own without those nasty steroids. Sam quit puking. Allyson went back to school today. They felt good enough to destroy the house today, so I suppose that is a good sign.
School: Back to school nights two times this week. Tonight was Allysons, her teacher seems nice. Different than we've had in the past, but still nice and I'm sure she will be good for Allyson as I spend much time each year praying for the folks who influence my childrens lives. So I am confident that God has put this woman in Ally's life for a reason. Emily's back to school night is Wednesday, and she has a bone to pick with them. Waiting all this time to go back is just about to drive her crazy. Walking out of Mt. Comfort tonight I took a shortcut through the kindergarten hall and realized that next year I will be leaving Emi there- of course it made me cry. I am not looking forward to that! And that just leaves Sam, who insists he is going to 'cool' this year too. NOT OVER MY DEAD BODY! I am keeping him with me as long as I can, unless he continues to be the terror he was tonight- then he's off to military school : )
Me: Worked 125 hours in the past 14 days. Tired, weepy, short fused, bloated, blessed. Suppose that sums it up. Just wondering who in the heck is going to straighten around the hurricane that must have hit my house while I was working non stop the past few weeks. My poor mother in law must think I am the worst mother/wife/janitor in the universe. Sorry Ginny. Also sorry for making you sick! You know us, we spread the love : )
Dan: Beats me, I've barely seen the man lately.
Life: Nutty. Way way way way busy. Whatever. Up tomorrow at 6am, allyson has another check on her arm at 8:20. Please let the doctor be on schedule, I would love to get in and out of there and move on. We'll see.
I will put some pictures up later, Dan must have the camera in his truck because I can't find it.
Funny story. A man came into the air show office on Saturday with a watch he'd found in the parking lot. It was a nice, expensive ladies watch. He wanted to turn it in. But also wanted to know what time he could come back to get it if no one claims it. Good deed? Not sure. Funny though. Also- tons of sets of car keys turned in (as usual). But no one claimed them. Doesn't it make you wonder how in the devil they got home?
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Great people, who are making me crazy. But just two more days. Then there is just the aftermath. Kind of like the mess left by a hurricane. Banners strone, sponsors things needing returned, lost and found boxes, trash, trailers, tents, just basic havok.
And why, after working a 17 1/2 hour day, and I up typing about nothing. Don't know. But hoping my mind will quit reeling soon so I can rest for a few hours.
Allyson stayed home sick from school- bad cough. Emily has a runny nose and a cough. Sam started puking as I walked out the door this morning. I wish I could have spent my day nursing them. I've seen so little of everyone in my home this week that I am anxious to get to spend time with them all- I am missing them. Even if they are drippy, feverish and puking. Poor grandma- she walked into a land mine!
Hope for blue skies.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
As I mentioned before- he so loved this little girl. I mean 'absolutely lit up when she came around, saved his cookies from his trays in the hospital for her, made goofy duck noises to see her giggle' kind of love. And the feeling was mutual. I wish he could still be here to see her grow. Thanks to this little one, there is a lipgloss kiss imprint on his headstone that won't wash off (placed there when she was four years old).
And then there is Emily. I just wish he could have got to experience Emily and her emilyness.