Sunday, June 27, 2010

Off to the land of blue ice cream.............

So- beginning in Aprilish my world has been nothing but a blurr.

End of schoolness and all of the activities it involves, the start and finish of our first baseball season, piano lessons, girl scout meetings, standard life rigamaroo- all laced together with that crazy air show and it's constant demands of more time.  Then throw in Dan's 40th birthday, followed with Allyson leaving for church camp and WHAMO- I am a tired girl.

Life is beginning to slow back down to just sonic speed- which sounds weird, but I can handle.

What's that you say?  Why don't you take off for a few days and soak up some sun with your children on the fabulous rock filled beaches of Lake Michigan??????  Okay, I think I will.

We are out the door this morning for a few days of vacation.  And I am pumped! Super stoked!  Whatever words those darn whippersnappers are using these days for READY TO GO!

The timing is a bit bad- probably shouldn't abandon work for a week and, Lord willing, Vacation Bible School the week we return.  But either way- the reservations have been made for months and we are going to go take advantage of someone else to make the bed and breakfast  Heck- I'm even going to let someone else wipe up the giant globs of toothpaste for a few days.

Our bags are packed, the beach toys are in the van and I managed to make the kids sweep up their mess of ground up food and candy wrappers from the van.  In just a few short hours (if I get off the computer and take a shower that is) we will be in my favorite place in the entire world- South Haven, Michigan.

See ya suckers!

Saturday, June 26, 2010


Sam loves him some Thomas!  And yesterday, I had the pleasure of spending the entire afternoon with he, Emily and my super cute nephew in none other than Thomas World............


I will now wrap this up, for it is 84 degrees (as in hot) in my house.  Apparently telling your husband that you don't think the air conditioner is working right and sounds funny is not good enough.  Because he will yell at you 4 degrees hotter later and say that you should have made the exact whooshing sound that you heard.


We leave for vacation in 12 hours.  It is hot.  The air conditioner is not functioning.  We are not packed.  My knee is hurting really badly.  And my children are outside arguing. 

And now my husband is off to the part store to buy some wire terminal thingamagig.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Dear Teenager who is thinking that raising a baby is a cakewalk,

What I am going to say to you is 100% unedited.  I am sparing nothing.  You must read this in its entirety, every single word.

Missing your prom and your homecoming dance can't hold a candle to what you have coming.

Yes- babies are cute.  And they have cute little baby clothes.  And people who have babies get showers.  Showers that provide most everything you need for a baby.  For like the first three months of baby.  And then they grow.  Actually morph.  They morph into other beings..........beginning with toddlers and speeding on down the pike into preschoolers, kindergarteners, and then pre-teenagers.

Even babies and all their cuteness have their drawbacks.  No, you don't see that because you're all 'I'm a teenager and I want to be loved forever by insert boys name and have his child and we'll be a family' *big ole' eye roll*  Allow me to share.

Babies leak.  They leak from their mouths, their eyes, and their behinds.  And on most general days- you will wipe up said leakage............with your shirt.  Yes- your same shirt that you will be wearing for the next 14 years because you will never again have the money, time or energy to shop for any more clothing.  And they spit up.  Huge.  And it generally spews from their mouths like they are posessed.  Again, you will use yourself to shield your surroundings.  It's not 'cute'.

Nor will you be.  I have left the house after sleeping for 3 hours a night- not in a row either- and realized while on the way to wherever I was going (which face it, is the pediatrician because you will live there for the first year of juniors life) that I had not brushed my teeth.  You loose track of your days when you don't sleep, but you are certain that it had been at least 12 hours since you had properly cleaned your mouth.  And you will try to do it with a caffiene free diet pepsi and your finger- because it's all you've got.  And there you will be with your 2 day old pony tail, spit up stained shirt and semi sparkly-semi brown fuzzy teeth and no deodorant.  But you will not care because you remembered the baby. And that should count for something.

I could go through every stage and describe why it is going to weigh on you like a brick boat, but I won't.

I will share just the highlights.

You will find yourself standing at your washing machine picking out grape skins, raisins and corn after washing puked on bedding, clothing, rugs.  And you will wish that there was someone, ANYONE,  who would do that for you.  But you will be all alone with a handful of partially digested food.

Everything you own will be covered in urine.  Your carpets, laundry, bedskirts, small plastic cups that belong to toys- all filled with pee.  I will limit this to typically just a boy problem, so you've got a 50% shot.

You won't get to order what you want anymore IF you get to go out somewhere to eat.  Because IF you are out some where and you order one of those frozen fabulous alcoholic beverages- it simply will NOT be worth wrestling a toddler for the duration of your meal while trying to explain why they can't have it.  They will have a giant tantrum, not eat their food, and probably spill it all over the place anyway.  I hope you like water- it's your best bet.  Plus- until they get old enough to warrant their own entire meal, they are mooching off your plate which means no blackened chicken or cajun anything for you.  Mild and flavorless- you'll take one of those............with water.

You will have no 'pretties' in your home................seen any in a house with little kids lately?  No.  You haven't because they are all broken or hidden away.  People with kids don't get pretties.  They get artwork made out of legos.

You will find yourself in an emergency room with your *broken, sick, swallowed broken glass, shoved a runts candy in their hoo-ha, needing stitches* child (choose a scenario- chances are you will experience them all but hopefully not at one time- although it's possible) and you are going to be questioned and questioned and questioned as trained medical staff try to decide if you are a neglectful parent.  Good times.

At some point you will pull over on the highway to dig out whatever it is that your child has dropped and is WHALING about.  It is not necessary, they would survive without it for 10 minutes until you get where you are going, but you will stop anyway.  Because you can't handle any more WHALING.  Again- you will wish for help or extra arms- but you will have neither.

You don't get to pick what is on tv anymore.  Face it.  But you will learn to like Caillou- and the most philisophical thoughts you will posess are why he is still just a kid who's four, after like 12 years.

In the middle of the night you will wake up and have to pee, but you won't.  You will instead lay there for two hours 'holding it' because you know that if you get up your little sweetie will wake up.  And it's not worth it.

Nothing will be relaxing anymore.  Because even in the rare occassion that you get a moment to yourself, your mind will be filled with your child and the things you must do for their care.  Even during sex.  It kind of takes the fun out of it.

Although I would trade not a single moment of this motherhood gig, I can honestly say that waiting to have offspring until I was older was one of my wiser decisions.  At least then I was married to the man who had to at least offer to scrub vomit out of the carpet (even though he won't) and ensure me that I don't look like a disaster- even though I do.

This my friends is all the birth control I have to offer.  Hope it inspires you to hold off on those cute little babies for a few years.

But not forever- because every destroyed candle holder, stained blouse, and gummy bear infused vehicle is completely worth it.

Thursday, June 24, 2010


Here we are- year number three of Church Camp.
I can not begin to explain how happy it makes me that it makes her this happy.
She looks forward to it every year and loves going there.

But this year is different.  Rather than being in the giant window, huge ceiling, air conditioned building...........she is in a cabin.
I certainly hope that this won't be 'the year' she decides she doesn't like it anymore.
Although clean and comfortable, it is unairconditioned (as in a bit muggy and warm) and has a certain odor.  That old building musty moist cabin odor.
But I left her amongst friends, lots to be exact.  Most of the other kids from church are there this week too, so that is good.
And within minutes of arrival, she found swarms of baby frogs.  And by she, I mean Sam.  He was THRILLED to show Ally what he had discovered. 

Not that she wouldn't have found them on her own, mind you.  That girl and frogs.  It's just a thing with her I suppose.
Since it was year three, it felt kind of old hat.  We made her bed, arranged her things, and she basically was done with us.  In fact, we could have probably slowed at the end of the road and dumped her out and she would have been satisfied. 
But as a mother, I needed to hug her and kiss her.  And she wanted NONE of that.
So I tackled her down, kissed her goodbye and off we went.
And as we left, they all lined up to head inside for dinner.
And it was cool so see my awesome kid starting another year of church camp.
And it will be even cooler to go down Saturday and drag her little behind back home where she belongs.
Right here with her mommy.

WHO, for crying out lout, IS IN CHARGE AROUND HERE?

Mentally, I am preparing my list of fun summerness that the kids and I are going to enjoy------this summer.

As in later this year when summer comes.

Which is apparently now.  And almost half over.  Not technically 'calendar summer' half over, but school break summer half over.  You know, that whole 6.2 days they give the kids between school years.  What genious decided that going back to school in the first few weeks of August was a good idea? 

I want those lazy summer days.  Where in the heck are those and when do they get scheduled in?  I have non stop for the past 3 months.  I want laziness.

I want free movie wednesdays, kids bowl free tuesdays, a spontaneous trip to the zoo, summer sleep overs, weekend camping, popcycles for breakfast, dinner picnics, kiddie swimming pool.............I want my summer back.  We haven't even signed up for the damn summer reading thing at the library yet.  We'll have to completely lie about reading all those books now in order to get all the free stuff.

We are leaving for vacation Sunday.  And ANY mother knows what that means.  The next three days are jam freakin packed with laundry, cleaning, trying to find the inflatable pool rings, and the sunscreen, and that stupid plastic bag we use at the beach, and my trendy purse that I use only on vacations.  And discovering that my house is a complete ship wreck.  And that 4H projects are due soon- and by soon I mean the day we get back from vacation.  Which is two days before vacation bible school starts.  But for 4 glorious wonderful days- I am going to soak by the ocean (also known as lake michigan- don't tell my children there is a difference) and pick seaweed out from in between my toes. 

And we're going to eat ice cream for lunch.


Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Softball Season #1- 2010- completed and done

She stole on you, oh yeah she stole on you
While you were pickin' your nose, she was up on her toes
She stole on you, oh yeah she stole on you
While you were brushin your hair, she was already there
She stole on you, oh yeah she stole on you
So neener neener neeener-
oscar meyer weiner
with ketchup
and mustard
and don't forget the cheese baby

please baby
don't break my heart baby

A one man battle...........

I feel like war has been declared.  And the very hardest part for me to accept is that this man is the only person enlisted to fight in it.  It's not that any one of us wouldn't glad grab armour and help him, because we would.  But we are not allowed to.

The war is against Cancer.  And it is raging in Dan's dads body, in his throat in particular.
It makes me so angry.  So very very angry.
And scared.
I guess I hadn't given myself time to be scared or to even embrace the situation.
Until now. 
All at once the treatments have begun and the war is in full swing.  He began chemotherapy and radiation on Monday.  It is going to be a very long process.  Weeks and weeks of treatments that will make him want to surrender, I'm sure.
Yesterday the tears came.  I started crying in the car while running around the city in circles, and I simply couldn't get it to stop.
My dad died almost 10 years ago.  He too went into battle- but it was very fast. 
I didn't really have time to contemplate if he would make it- it was apparent very quickly that he would not.  And he gave us a few days to accept it.
And then early one morning, I sat next to my dad and I watched his body quit living.
It was the most overwhelming feeling I think I have ever experienced.
His battle was over, but ours had only just begun because we had to find a new normal in life that didn't include his physical presence.
And I think that is what has me feeling like this is too much.
I swear to you I can not live through that again. 
Dan's dad can fight this.  And he has to.
And all I can contribute to the battlefield is prayer.  Lots of prayer.
I just really really really wish that it is the Lords plan that he be able to defeat this nasty nasty beast.  That he come through at the end as the victor.


It has become a new normal term in our world.  And it makes me so very very angry.

Across town, a very close and dear friend to our family- a man special to me in many ways- is battling the exact same war.  And although I've never written about it- my prayers have never left Mr. Mike, not once.

In our close circle of friends, a family bears the deep wounds from this evil beast.  My prayers are always with this family as they still struggle, I'm sure, to find a new normal.

Damn that cancer.

This morning I can't make the tears quit.  I'm just so very..........I'm not even sure what I am.  I have faith in the Lord, I know that His will will prevail.  I am comforted by Him.  I pray that he touches my father in laws heart, and provides him with peace.  His perfect gentle peace.

Across the street in my neighborhood another battle is beginning.  I found out this week that 'super grandma' has the same nasty disease ravaging her body.  She is thin, healthy, walks and rides her bike every single day, eats healthy, is gentle and peaceful and healthy.  Truly an inspiration.  And she is being eaten alive with cancer.  I have always called her 'super grandma' because she is.

Tomorrow I will return you to your normal off the wall, doesn't make a lick of sense blogging.  Today- I'm going to go cry some more.  Damn cancer.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Things I learned Saturday.....................

This man knew about his 'surprise' party the entire time.
Even though this child's softball team typically has lost most of their games- if there is a tournament on the day of a 'surprise party' they will  And the games will get all up in your birthday party business.  And you will have to miss the last tournament game.

We have the best group of friends that the Lord has provided us with.  THE BEST.  And we are blessed to know them.
It is best to fill water balloons for a party BEFORE the children arrive- otherwise they will swarm you like a drunk Jimmy Buffet groupie.

Water Balloons make children happy.

Children will not limit their water balloonage to children.

Holy Smokes it takes a long time and a lot of hands to light THAT many candles!

Children take pity on old people and help them blow out their forest fires.
It is not possible to make your home looked cared for in one day- apparently that is a process.  But if you wrap christmas lights around the deck and give your friends lots to drink, it helps.
Glow bracelets and citronella candles- an absolute must for evening parties.

Plastic stemware is still a favorite for the young and old alike. (That is just water, I think)

When you leave your camera unattended, you end up with pictures of empty beer bottles with really cook bokeh.

Funny gifts are a must for 40th birthdays- however, most of this I find to be highly useful (so now I'm just afraid).

Again- water balloons=instant fun.  And these kids have some rockin' long legs.

I have never so enjoyed watching children as much as I did that night.  They just clung together and partied the entire time.  And it was awesome.

Martinis are my friend.  However- next time I need to stop just 3 or 4 shy of whatever I did that night.  Too many martinis + cheeseburger + laying down= not my friend.  It's been a while since I had to crawl across the bathroom floor- I don't want to relive that any time soon.

My husband may look miserable- but he's really not- at least I hope.

These people are my posse- and they make my world complete.  But I already knew that.

I also learned that gathering your friends for a 40th birthday party is a FABULOUS idea- and needs to happen way more often than just on big giant birthdays!