Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Goodbye Basketball Season

 Goodbye constant daily practices & games. And daily driving to the school.
 Goodbye rummaging through laundry baskets to find whatever jersey needs washed on whatever day
Goodbye excitement and hoopla

 Goodbye sweet little second graders who totally double dribble and sweet refs who don't call it all the time.

 Goodbye over excited mommas who sometimes scream a little too loud during the game (she totally made the shot by the way)
 Goodbye best coach I have ever experienced. EVER. He's a childrens minister- it was a great season for miss emily. And for us parents.  What an inspirational man.
 Goodbye anxiety as I watch my baby get ready to be put into the game.

 Goodbye dirty stinky gym shoes.
 Goodbye school fight song.  I've enjoyed hearing you at every game!
 Goodbye always winning the tip. Chances are those girls are gonna grow this year and you will no longer be the tallest on any team you play.
 Goodbye nachos for dinner.  Oh how we are going to miss our daily liquid cheese infusion.
 Goodbye really loud cheerleaders........
 Who make me super duper nervous each time they do.......
 THIS!  Thank you for never dropping anyone.  Except that once, but we won't talk about that.
 Yeah-it's sideways.  Whats it to ya? (I don't know how to fix it) But check out those socks, will ya? 

Goodbye Basketball season 2012.  Thank you for having us.  My girls have had a great time, and so have I.  You have been kind and encouraging, loving and special.  We will always remember you.  Thank you for letting Allyson make the team, it has been such an honor for her.  And thanks for having Emily- she certainly loves you.  Hopefully next year you will see Sam- he will fit right in I'm sure.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Why am I so TIRED?

We live in a nice home.

With a nice bed.

And warm covers.  As well as an operational furnace.

I have comfy pajamas.  And comfy slipper socks- that I wear to bed (don't judge- I mean , have you even tried wearing your slippers to bed?  It's amazing.  Until one comes off and you spend 10 minutes in your sleepy state trying to find it so your mind will let you go back to sleep.  Too much info? Perhaps.)

Why on earth am I waking up so tired????

No joking- that little triangle up on the left corner?  THAT is where I get to sleep.  And only because I beat the dog into the bed and claimed it for myself before she jumped up and took the rest.  If there were cameras in our house (which I am hoping there aren't) I'm sure it would be a sight to see each night as I race that dag gone dog down the hallway, being careful not to fall in my slipper socks. 

And the little one in the middle?  He was wise to keep himself over on his daddy's part of the bed- because Rosie shows no mercy when she pushes you out of her way.  I'm living proof.

I'm thinking of adding a trundle to our bed, so maybe, MAYBE, I can get some actual rest.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Toothless Joe

Yup- it happened.  He lost both front teeth this week. 

Wow- my mommy heart just wasn't quite ready for that.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Smart phones and the stupid women who own them

For Christmas Dan surprised me with a smart phone. An IPhone 4s to be exact. The S stands for Siri. She's supposed to be pretty awesome, but as far as I can tell she's just another back talking, only helpful some of the time, addition to my family. One day when I was trying to get directions to somewhere I was undoubtedly running late for, she even responded that she couldn't help me right then. See- kind of like another child.

Back to the actual smart part of my phone. My sister in law showed me something on it that she said I was going to love. At that point I wasn't even positive how to make a
phone call on it so I was all ears!

And then she proceeded to show me the stock ticker and how I could check our investments real time right on my phone.

*crickets chirping*

It's like she doesn't even know me.

I wanted a smart phone for one reason only. Facebook. Well, and for mobile coupons.

It's so cool to be able to take a photo or video with my phone and instantly have the ability to send it anywhere. And by anywhere I mean except my blog. I can not for the life of
Me figure out how to get them from my phone to the blog without emailing first to a desktop. Which is probably better for you, I already post too many mediocre photos on this here blog.

This post has been brought to you by my smart phone and monkey joes- which is where I sit typing it. Because my friend that was supposed to meet me here for a playmate ditched us last minute with some lamo excuse about totaling her van on the way here. Whatever.

Forgive any typos. My fingers are large and these buttons are tiny.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Room Mothers who Set the Bar HIGH

I am Emily's room mother.  Truth is- Sam and Emily fought over whos room mom I got to be. 

Yeah- I'm THAT good.

There was a loooooong line of fools women lined up to be the kindergarten room mom and I think they finally settled on four who would split that duty.  I don't like to share my awesomeness- so I stepped away from that mess.

And I ran down the hall to the second grade wing.  Because there?  The demand for this position is much less.  By then women have learned that it is high in pressure and low in pay- and most buckle under that kind of stress.  But not me.  With my glue gun in my holster, I signed the form.  And although I get to split the duties with another mom- she has turned out to be completely unavailable for the kind of responsibilities that are a requirement of this role.  So it's all mine baaaaa-byyyyyyyyy.

One of the long list of tasks cast upon the shoulders of the mother of the room is cookies for the valentine celebration.  We are not permitted to actually set foot in the building mind you- we are to deliver the confections (store bought with labels in tact- home made goodies equal death traps in our school system) and leave.

Being the rockstar room mom that I am, I managed to remember at dang near 9pm Monday night (aka- the night before valentines day) that I had yet to purchase said sweet baked goods.  So I ventured into the Meijer.  Keep in mind, I hate the Meijer, so this is really a sacrificial effort on my part- all being done in my complete dedication to this ever so important role.

There they were.  Not heart shaped, but iced with heart sprinkles, which screamed 'good enough' for me.  Emily wanted to look around and promptly fell in love with another variety.  The green iced cookies with shamrock sprinkles, mind you.  It took some doing, but I finally convinced her that going 'St. Patty's Day' might compromise my room mother of the year award and we just couldn't take THAT kind of a risk.

Which is when she picked the yellow frosted cookies with multi colored sprinkles.  Really?

Despite my best begging and whining, she wouldn't hear of switching for the sweet valentine variety.  And since I was absolutely exhausted, I gave up and off we went.  But I told her the consequences of going that drastic in our cookie choice was all on her tiny second grade shoulders.  I was washing my hands of it.

After school the next day, she came home and told me how she announced to the class that she wasn't sure WHY her mom would have picked yellow cookies for valentines day.  (and I'm sure she rolled her little evil eyes).

She threw me under the bus.  I only hope that no one on the PTO was near the room, they'll be marking their list for next year and there will be NO HOPE for me to show my true room mother awesomeness that I'm sure is in here somewhere.  Because next year?  Oh yeah- I can feel it.  It's gonna be my year to shine!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Hearty heart heart

Life has been a little nutty lately.  Not nutty as in peanuts- because that makes my son stop breathing.  But nutty as in crazy.  Nutty as in my eyes are full of tears dang near constantly- it's just a matter of what will make me cry that day.  Nutty as in we've had frozen pizza for dinner twice this week.  And felt blessed to have it.
Just nutty.
 We've been running in circles.  Kids activities.  Church activities. Sick parents.  Home responsibilities.  And then there is work.  I am getting super swamped at work, so even there I am under such a huge amount of stress that I feel like I could explode. KABOOM!
 But today?  All of the beautiful valentines lining the kitchen counter from my wonderful husband, the joy of seeing the kids pick which heart shaped doughnut they wanted to start their day with, knowing that in two short hours we get to have a special valentines lunch at school with emily, and looking forward to tonight when we have dinner reservations at Chez White Castle- our traditional day of love eatery (even though said dinner will be at 8pm after basketball games clear up north of the city in some town I've never even heard of) I feel like I can do it.
 Right now I can hear Sam singing 'yes Jesus loves me' while he plays with toys on the floor. 
Confirmation that it's all going to be okay.

Friday, February 10, 2012


I'm currently participating in a bible study.  Everyday there is a workbook that has items I read, study and respond to at home and then once a week the group gathers together to watch a video and have discussion.

In this weeks video- the lady talked about newsworthy moments.  History making things occur that will forever be written.  And the moment 'just before'.

Sometimes these historical things are really just personal items that happen and then you personally are changed.  Your history is written.  It is forever recorded and from then on something is different.  We've all had them- either something that was completely out of our control or something that we chose and then received the reaction of said 'thing'.  It was a profound thought- thinking about the moment 'just before'.  In the study- she was obviously discussing the things we have control over and can lift to God BEFORE we make our action/decision.  But today, I'm thinking about the things not in our control.

Like the moment just before I found out yesterday that my father in law has cancer growing in his brain. This whole thing for him has been such a bitch of a battle.  Cancer was found in his throat a few years ago- and we knew then that the outcome was probably not going to be perfect because treatment for that kind of cancer is pure hell.  And then it spread into his lungs.  Which was kind of expected for it to spread somewhere because those nasty little asshole cancer cells were already in his lymph glands.  But he's done the dag gone chemo, and all the radiation treatments, and he's on maintenance stuff, and he's taken trial drugs.  He's fought that stupid beast.  And although being cancer free is not something that is going to be in his world, things were looking okay.  The shit stopped growing and the doctor said he could live like this for years. 

They (my mother and father in law) left for a cruise last month.  I spent the whole week rejoicing and thanking God for that opportunity for them.  For them to get to go and have this magical week, after such a hard year and years prior.  What we didn't realize was how very ill my father in law had become once on the boat.  To the point, in fact, that the doctor on the boat encouraged them to get off in a foreign tropical paradise and seek medical attention.  The doctor was scared of what he saw happening.  And so was my mother in law.  I can only imagine how my father in law felt.  But they stayed on the ship and made it back home.  Because heading to a foreign hospital?  That's pretty scary stuff.  Then they would have been stranded there trying to make plane reservations to come back home.

Once home, for two weeks, they have visited his various doctors.  It seemed like he'd had a stroke.  But the cancer doctor said he thought it had moved to his bones.  So they performed a full body scan.  And it hadn't.  And, foolishly, we celebrated a victory.  Still not knowing what was wrong, we celebrated.  Like the asshole fools we are.

This week things got worse and his body, at least half of it, wasn't functioning well.  At all.  It was horrific to see him like that. So the doctor ordered an MRI.  Now in my head I am blaming all of this on that stupid doctor who never ordered it before- even though it seemed like the man was having strokes.  Would it have changed a thing?  It really wouldn't have.  I just want to be mad, and that doctor seems like the one to be mad at.

So my moment, the one that was 'just before', was already not a fairy tail. Things have already been difficult.  But yesterdays 'just before' moment was in the car at the orthodontist with a van full of kids.  And I had to hold my shit together like I knew how to for over two hours while tears kept welling up in my eyes and spilling over my lids with little faces wondering what on earth was wrong.  After a whole day of that- I was short of patience and energy last night and I seemed to be snapping at everyone.

I could just scream.  But what is the use?  My father in law, the only grandpa my children remember and such a beautiful member of our family, is being eaten alive with cancer and I am pissed.  Because it's a sucky way to see his life end.  Because if the treatments they are working on are successfull, he probably still won't live through the year.  Because he is afraid because his walk with Jesus has been very small.  Because he has no peace because he is so afraid.  Because going to their house and NOT playing sheep head and whining when I get stuck being his partner is going to be harder than anything I can handle.  Because there are people who have lost their loved ones much younger to this bitch cancer and that isn't fair either.  And because his last moments on this earth aren't going to be pretty ones.

Is it fair to say, selfishly (and that is what I am being right now here on this blog post, is selfish because if I don't get this out of my system I'm going to explode) that I can't do this.  I can't handle it.  I swear I can't.  But what good does THAT do- because we don't get a choice.  It's already been decided. It's happening.  Within the hour of learning the diagnosis he was admitted to the hospital to start treatments.

I was trying to do my daily assignment yesterday and in the middle I just stopped and cried and prayed.  But I don't even know what to pray for. And when I was finished, I looked back to my study and the next item was a bible verse I was to look up:

Philippians 4:4  Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERY SITUATION, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, WHICH TRANSCENDS ALL UNDERSTANDING, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.

And somehow I knew that it was exactly what I needed, right at that moment.  All I keep praying for is for Gods peace to overflow in them.  For them to receive that comfort.  That peace.

The night before, when the insurance agent was here, remember?  We purchased a cancer protection policy.  I'm just not sure what to make of all of this- but I can say that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  But I still don't want to.

Thanks for reading, listening, letting me vent.  And for accepting the bad words this day- because I just can't find anything to replace them with this time.  This is a difficult point in my life and somehow writing is my outlet.  And apparently cursing.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

You so Ka-Raaaa-Zeeeeeeeey

Wednesday- February 8- Small town, Central Indiana

6:00 AM  Begin smacking snooze button on alarm clock

6:23 AM Smallest child person produces himself and declares his bed and jammies 'wet' and begins messing with the dog in my quiet dark corner of the earth.  Soon there is laughing, running and hysteria in our dark, pre-sun rising home.

6:45 AM  Try to awaken and throw out the door biggest child person for public learning priviledge.

In the mean time start coffee, make breakfasts, remind sam to be quiet 647 times, unload the dishwasher.

7:25 AM  Success- Ally catches her bus.

7:26 AM Grab steaming cup of life blood.  Realize rather quickly that being out of coffee and using a specialty package of decadent chocolate coffee will NOT be the same as the normal start to my day.  Just fabulous.

8:30 AM Finish showering, dressing and stripping boy childs bed and starting the washer going.  Begin waking middlest and reminding smallest to dress himself.

9:00 AM In car- drop off boy child with friend for playdate and rideshare to school and drive all.the.way.downtown for emilys eye doctor appointment.  Probably driving past 74 eye doctor offices along the way.

9:43 AM FINALLY find a parking spot in that blasted garage and run like the ever loving wind to make it in the hospital and up to the third floor before our appointed time. Run is figurative.  But we did hurry extra fast.

9:47 AM Sign in on the board as arriving at 9:44.  Who us?  Late?  Never.

11:00 AM Arrive back in our part of the world, check the child back into school, head to my location of paid employment.

12:45 PM Leave location of paid employment and drive like crazy fast to home to get forgotten study materials.

1:07 PM Arrive for ladies bible study that began at 1:00 PM.  If there was a sign in board I would have marked my time of arrival as 1:00.  Who me? Late? Never.

2:21 PM Drive like a crazy lunatic because I lost track of time and now I have to hurry if I'm gonna beat that bus home. 

2:31 PM Ahhhh- beat the bus home.  Capture 1.5 minutes of complete quiet in the driveway while I wait for said bus.

2:33 PM Make the kids get in the car without even passing GO and listen to them complain about hunger and fight over strange scraps of food they find in the car while we run errands for the next 70 minutes.  Which include a stop at the bank- inside- which is always a party with tired hungry kids.

3:43 PM  Finally home.  Switch around laundry.  Mess with dishes and tidying kitchen.  Unpack bags from errands.  Take care of various home/wifely responsibilities. 

4:43 PM Declare that I am tired and going to sit down until it is time to go to school to pick up Ally.  Realize it is actually already time to go pick up Ally and whine kind of really badly loud.  Make a cup of coffee to go, and then I go.

6:00 PM  Daughter picked up, girl scout cookie deliveries made, heading back to the house.  Dan calls to find out what is for dinner.  I swear I almost broke right then and there.  But instead just replied I wasn't making dinner and then declared that he was.

6:15-6:24 PM Hide in the car in the garage after arriving home.  I played on my new fancy phone the whole time.  Husband and small blonde one both tried to drag me in.  I locked them out of the car.

6:25 PM  Give up and come inside.  Change guinea pig cage.  Put last load of bedding into dryer.  Start a load of towels for good measure.  Feed dog.  Insert other various home duties here.

7:14 PM  Come down the hall with visions of frozen pizza for dinner and the rest of the evening for relaxing dancing in my head.  Hear a child declare 'they are here' and remember that husband scheduled a life insurance agent to visit us.  Tonight.  As in right now.  Like during my dinner and relaxing portion of the day.

7:14-7:18 PM- run around frantically trying to wipe up sticky spots on the dining room table, move children and their 'dinner' to the bar, gather up coats and shoes from the entry so they won't trip on them, and apologize for the complete disaster our home is.  And ask why they didn't get the voice mail Dan left asking to move this appointment to another day.  I mean we left it on the voicemail of the completely wrong company, in another portion of the entire country, but we did leave the right agents name.  How did that not pan out?  Relent and give up the hope of having any time for anything other than insurance listening for the next while and make another cup of coffee.

10:23 PM Agents leave (no joking).  Although able to get them to bathe, dry hair, take vitamins and brush teeth during very interesting life insurance videos, they are all still awake (the children, not the insurance agents.  well, I mean the agents are still awake, but so are the kids). Finish getting them all to climb into beds and collapse on the couch with the last 2 slices of 3 hour old cold pizza and a big giant bowl of grape salad.

10:49 PM Finally nourished and alone- first opportunity to strangle my husband for the dinner comment.  And for scheduling these jokers on the only night of the week we don't have something already to do.  But I don't.  For that I feel I earned the title of Saint.  Climb into bed with Dan and the little blonde one who proceeds to use his toes to dig in my thigh all.night.long.  Restful, let me tell ya.

Today it starts all over again.  Sans insurance appointment, similarly busy.  There should be drive through martini bars.  Just sayin'.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

My Resignation

Dear World,

I quit.

That's it.  It's over.  I'm not playing anymore.  You can have it.  I'm done.  Me, my 18 boxes of dishwashing soap and my 3 boxes of ritz crackers are just going to hole in and stay here. Forever.  I'm through.  I mean it.

It's too much.  Too much running around.  Too many meetings.  Too much responsibility.  Too much laundry to wash.  Too many uniforms to take care of.  Too many doctors appointments. Too many girlscout patches to sew on.  Too many teddy bears to color and act out story problems.  Too much dust. 

I can handle a lot.  I really can.  But this?  It's just not possible.  Everywhere I turn are things that need to be done.  Lunches to be packed, groceries to be purchased, children to be picked up, clothing to be mended, broken teeth to be fixed........and then there are the actual BEINGS themselves wanting friends, sleepovers, to play games-like with my actual attention, dinner.  How is there supposed to be enough time?  I stay up late.  I get up early.  I only work part time for crying out loud.  Why can't I do this?

Taxes, girlscout cookies, trash day, dirty refrigerators, it's all there looming over my head like a giant pelican.  (I know- pelican, really?  But I'm not changing it.)

So suck it.  Take that.  I will not be scrambling around another morning tossing half asleep 8 year olds out into the cold darkness of the too early morning screaming 'don't you miss that bus, I mean it'.  THAT my friends is ri-di-cu-lous and I feel like a complete failure.  The straw that broke this camels back, that is what it was.

So we are done.  I am done.  I'm not exactly sure what that means because clearly I'm not expecting anyone to step in and help with this.  And I still know it's all my responsibility.  But somehow it is freeing just to shout it out there and nod my head with some kind of deep satisfaction.

I better go make my list for the day and get back at it.  After all, the dog isn't going to wash itself.

Friday, February 3, 2012


This time of year- everything is about the super bowl.  Living in a city that is hosting said bowl?  It's like 3000X worse.  Times 10.  Plus 7.
I thought that you just won a ring and the title- but apparently the winning team also gets the JW Marriott.  Which is impressive considering it's like brand new.

 I wanted NOTHING to do with going downtown.  Capital N to the OTHING.  But Dan kept on with his 'once in a lifetime', 'cool experience for the kids', 'will never happen again in 100,000 years' prodding and we ended up going down there into all that hoopla.
 I've not been happier in a long time.
 It was so cool.  So well organized.  So neatly laid out.  So well thought out.  So upscale.  So not carnivally.  Sooooo muuuuuuuch fuuuuuun.
 And because typically it would be freezing here- there were warming stations, warming domes and overhead heaters everywhere to help keep fans warm.  But since we're being totally robbed of our regular winterness, we all just wore jackets and the kids only visited the fire stations because they were amazing.  Rather than a necessity.
 Everyone on facebook has a picture of themselves in front of the big XLVI on the monument.  Here is mine.  Of course, it's not me.  Nor can you really see the whole thing.  But it was hard to get this picture while driving so this is the best I can do.  And it works for me.
 There are multiple stages set up everywhere with all kinds of performances going on all the time.  This was my favorite.  Fire dancing people.  We were glued to them like..........well, like something that is really stuck to something else (it's early and that's the best I can do).
 We walked up to see what they were setting up for and this nice gentleman looked up and began explaining what time the show was and what they were going to be doing and....
 then he looked over at my husband and said "Well Hey Dan!".  Turns out my husband has fire dancing friends and he didn't even know it.
 This lady was also a belly dancer.  She kept coming close to Sam and talking to him while shaking her coin things on her hips and swinging around that fire- and Sam was about to die of embarrassment.  Isn't it funny that he is already like that around ladies?  He would look away and to the ground and pierce his little lips together. 
 It was so much fun.  And so worth the $20 they were charging to park.  From what I hear, that rate is going up each day that the superbowl gets closer.  Can you imagine?  Our little baby city- we'll never be the same!
Here's our brush with fame.  While driving through the city we saw a huge crowd of people with cameras and flashes and such gathered around a big escalade kind of car and someone got out and was rushed in and it was exhilarating.  Of course, we didn't have the camera out.  But then we were on guard.  While heading home, a police escort brought up another big shiny SUV and we were ready.  Out jumped two secret servicey body guard kind of people who were scanning the crowds and I knew it was someone important.  And then she jumped out.  See the lady all the way to the left with the gray sweater and the black purse and blond hair?  THAT is who they were shuffling in. 

Yeah- I didn't know who she was either.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

LIFE- only more realistic

 I don't know what it is about that game- but my kids love to play LIFE.  Maybe it's the little plastic blue and white 'people', or the 'real' mountain roads, or that snazzy spinny wheel.  Whatever it is- it is lost on my.
 While we are here- why am I the ONLY person in this entire house that finds it so important to sort and wrap the money before putting the game away.  Everytime we get out a game- the cards, money, people, and every other small tiny thing is just all over the box.  Everywhere.  It could take us a half hour just to set up.  My first lesson in LIFE would be to take care of your stuff and freakin' organize it.  Geesh.
But my 'real' point here is the actual game.  First you pick a profession- college or no college.  And the no college options are pretty dag gone good and can make like $50,000 a year as a bar singer. PLUS, every other roll it seems you get a $10,000-$20,000 pay raise.  Really?  Who gets that kind of an increase in real life?  Then you throw in how you have a baby and every other player gives you $5000.  Or 'surprise' you inherited a smooth hundred thousand from great aunt whoever.  Sign a book deal- collect $100,000.  Win the lotto- collect $50,000.  Then- at the end of the game you sell you house back for more than you pay for it.  This might be how things used to roll- but not so much these days.  I've been thinking about my OWN version of the game of LIFE.  It would go something like this:

Oh no- little dumpling has the chicken pox.  Take two weeks off work and forfeit $800 in pay.  Plus- bounce 3 checks due to lack of deposits and pay late fees on 4 bills.  Loose another $200.

Congratulations- you got a raise.  3% of your income.  That means you get to collect $27 per pay period.  The down side is that the increased pay put you into a new tax bracket and you end up LOOSING $60 each check.  High Five on the Raise!

Oh Boy!  Your having another baby.  Pay $500 to the OB's office, $875 to the hospital and kiss goodbye any extra income  you might have been earning because no one can afford to pay babysitting for three kids.  Each player gives you $25 and a casserole.

Breastfeeding troubles.  Pay $30 for herbal supplements.

No dice on the supplements.  Pay $80 a month for baby formula.

Dog goes into heat and makes your house look like a crime scene.  Spend $40 on dry cleaning bills for your bedspread, $20 on fancy doggie underpants that don't work, and $180 to have the carpets professionally cleaned.   SPIN TO WIN to see if fido got impregnated.  YES- $400 for puppy delivery and first round of shots.  NO- cough up $200 for neutering your precious pup.

Thems the dumps!  Your washer quits working.  Pay $500 for another one that can't be delivered until next week and then another $50 at the laundry mat to get by until then.  Collect a free sample of wash detergent that came with the new washer.

Your daughter makes the basketball team!!!!  Pay $125 because your school system is in the toilet and you now need to 'pay to play' PLUS $25 for the fancy jerseys the team is ordering AND $130 for the physical that is required to be on file.  Want to go watch your child play in actual games?  That will be another $10 please. Two times a week.  For the next two months.

Freezers on the Fritz, kiss your $180 in frozen food goodbye as you haul it to the curb for the trash (pay them $40 just to come get your trash each month by the way).  Buy another freezer, $250 and loose a turn.

Child needs tonsils removed.  Pay $300 in doctors fees and don't collect the next two pay checks.

Oldest makes Honor Roll at school!   Pay $25 for reward field trip.

Basketball pictures, due tomorrow.  Pay $20.

Miss calculate/balance your checkbook.  Loose $300.  You're not even really sure how or why or where- but if you choose to have someone at the bank help you pay another $25 and still loose the $300.

Great Aunt So and So passes away.  Pay $50 toward flowers.  Collect nothing from the will.

Outgrow your family home.  Sell it for $5,000 less than you paid for it 12 years ago and buy a new one.

Download a virus onto your computer.  $80 please.

Your little car full of blue and pink babies rolls 250,000 miles.  Time for a new ride.  Pay $400.  Per month.  For years on end.  Good thing you got that raise.

PAYDAY.  Collect $1000.  Give back $80 for health insurance, $20 for uniform cleaning. $263 for taxes and other stuff that no one really understands, $40 for 401K.

What other fun 'real life' things am I missing?????  Share your ideas and maybe we can split the profit of our new boardgame.