Monday, July 26, 2010

Dear Miss Manners,

Yesterday afternoon, Dan and I took the kids bowling.  I was craving some great family time and this seemed like just the ticket.  The second ticket as the first which was family roller skating was not possible as every single roller rink the city is closed on Sunday, what's up with that?  Any who.

We arrive at the alley, pick out 13 pairs of shoes for each person hoping to make the right fit somewhere, and we're off to our lane.  Which has people bowling on each side of it.  Crap.  Trying to keep my kids in order on whose bowling when is challenge enough, but throw in 'bowling ettiquette' and how to wait your turn and I was sweating it dude.

See, bowling might not be the redneck sport we have all picked it out to be.  There are actually 'rules' that one must follow.  Like you don't walk down the concession stand in front of the bowling lanes, you don't slap other teams behinds for fabulous scores, and pouring yourself a beer out of a strangers pitcher is considered rude.  Got it.

So we begin our game and all is well.  My children are focused, encouraging, happy and respectfully waiting their turn on the lane. With the exception of Sam getting confused on which lane to actually throw his ball down, all was running swimmingly.

So much so that I even bowled this time.  I'm typically the 'bowling wrangler'.  I hoist balls, run back and forth to the bathroom, drag that silly metal helper ball thing over and back, etc.  But this time, I was a participant.  And in all of our ball running, I failed to grab one for myself.  But heck, with other people on the lane next to us, our little corral was dang near full, and there were like 3 12lb balls in there already.  I prefer the 6pounder, but the finger holes are so dag gone little.

So anyway, my turn comes and I grab whatever 12lb ball is there.  Next ball, grab another and off we go.

Around the 5 or 6 frame, the kid (and I am not joking- he was like 13) informs me that the yellow ball is in fact his and this one (points to a green one) is mine.  I must have gotten confused as they all had a giant EXPO BOWL stamped on them and I was under the assumption that they all belonged to the alley.

It's not like I was asking to borrow his shoes each time.  Sheesh.  So apparently there is actual ettiquette to bowling, and I need to brush up on it.  Really though, was I completely out of line?????  Seriously.

Long story longer, I made the mistake of buying a drink around the finish of our first game.  One great big drink that we could share.  But since we had JUST finished dinner before coming, that shouldn't be an issue.

Except all game progress shut down because now all three kids were fighting and picking over who had the drink.  Can't bowl anymore, need to watch who takes how many drinks.  Sam officially quit and removed his shoes..........he just spent the last half of our time holding the drink and biting the straw and screaming over who was taking a drink.

Good times.

Hope it is a super fabulous week.............the last one of July you know.

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