A bunch of mindless dribble with a side of useless info

I am not positive, but I think I might be having a mid-life crisis.

No, I'm not leaving my family to join a University in Brazil or trading my Mini-Van for some hot sporty topless number with a stick shift.  But ohhhhh to drive a car with a stick shift for just a moment, doesn't that get my blood running.  But they don't make mini-vans with stick shifts- just automatic door closers and dvd players, apparently.  Uhg.

What I am thinking about doing is eating more carrot sticks and grilled chicken.  Crazy, I know.

See- twice in the past week friends that I graduated high school with (as in- we are the SAME age) have posted pictures on their facebook and they look so ravishingly beautiful.  One was even on vacation in a bikini.  This chick gave birth to three children- two at the same time!  She hosted twins in her belly that she can now show in public.

Their hair is pretty, their clothes are trendy, and their bodies are thin and healthy.  And mine is not.

I have been getting progressively more over weight with time.  I began my life fairly slim and made it through high school that way.  Well, I may have packed on a few pounds thanks to my job at PoFolks and a found love of buttermilk biscuits.  But still I was pretty thin.

Regardless, met Dan when I was just slightly 'thick' and have progressively just gotten 'thicker'.

As I try to at least pretend I am going to change my ways (this time)- let me share with you things I have learned about eating healthy:
Carrot Cake does not count as a vegetable- even if it has a cute icing carrot piped on the top (very tricky- I know)
Egg Salad is apparently not a salad
Eating little tiny cookies really fast does not reduce their calories
Drinks can have significant calories- especially at Starbucks
Cheeseburgers aren't healthy- even if you eat lettuce and tomato on them (which techinically are vegetables- it's like a catch 22)
Most alcoholics are thin- but booze is expensivo, so it's not the best option for me
The only real way to buckle down and loose the weight is to eat less, and move more- neither of which are fun

So I sit here kind of at a crossroads.  I've been here before, so it may just be a passing thing.  I just feel like I've got to do something to feel better.  I even considered asking the doctor for some kind of pill to make me loose weight- but then I realized that technically I haven't really tried yet.  So first I will do my part, I think. 

Anyone who has never struggled with weight probably doesn't understand.  "Just eat less dorkwad" you might be saying.  But food seems to be more to me.  And this is obviously hard- otherwise I would have lost the weight the last 46 times I said I was going to.  It's all consuming.  And it kind of sucks a lot.  And I love bread. But I am going to buckle down and try to do this thing.  Really, I think.

But we are getting ready to head over to the fairgrounds, and they have those stinkin' homemade doughnuts and milkshakes there so I'm not sure my will can be strong today.  Those are like my kryptonite man.

So here I sit- with eyes filled with tears and a grocery list packed with fresh fruits and vegetables.  I apparently have a choice to make.  And that choice is do I actually pack these crazy kids to the grocery or just hang out and fine tune my mario cart skills today- and worry about this healthy eating thing tomorrow.

On a completely different note:  I am just thankful that my Miss Emily has not a drop of self esteem issues- being as she now looks like a giant hillbilly and all.  But then again- not everyone could pull of that toothless smile like she can.