Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Do not SCREW with me........I mean it.

My family is preparing to take a little spring break. As in- away from our home. Now- those of you who are, well, men are probably all giddy and excited days before your departure. And those of you who are, well, children are as well. But the women in this scenario- not giddy (but still kind of excited- in a far off land kind of way).

Why is that you ask?

Well, let's just see shall we.

We as a family have invited 4 living, breathing creatures into our home (if you don't count the one houseplant I weekly try to keep from murdering). And they need to find someone to care for them while we are absent. Which means we have the clean them and trim them and wash their homes so they look well tended for. You know- like you do with your kids before you drop them at a sitter. And the we in this story is me. I just finished wrestling a 60+ pound beagle in and out of the tub and scrubbing a gold fish bowl. I am not in a laughing mood.

Then there are the clothes that need packed. Which first means they have to be washed. Probably this is overstatement, as most of the clothes in the dirty basket were only on bodies for like 2.5 seconds before they were removed and thrown in the basket- versus being placed back on the actual hangar since they are technically still clean. Change that to were- because after laying in the basket for a couple days up against the actual dirty clothes they now carry an aroma.

And we (again, me) have to wrestle the suitcases out of the attic.

And then fill them with hopefully clean clothes. And night time diapers- which we are out of so we (me again) will have to go buy some more. And floaties. And swim suits (which is practically impossible since Emily wears one at one point or another). And lotion. And benedryl. And motrin. And ear drops. And shoes. And flip flops. And hairbrushes. And Xanex.

Don't forget the picnic and snacks. Which will involve a trip to the store. Another one- you know after I run out to get night time diapers because I'm REAL coordinated like that. And drinks. Crap, another trip to the store.

Now just a few brief items on a checklist- like taking care of commitments at church, work (which means making up the time I'll be gone spring break this week), the room party which is this week (ee gad), buy a birthday present for Sam's first friend party which is also this week, fill out school walkathon forms due this week- 24 per kid- that's 48 for those of you mathmatically challenged (expect to get one in the mail by the way), take care of purchasing easter stuff because it is like the minute we return, and then our actual physical house. Aaaaaaack, the house.

I love to go on vacation just because it always feels so good to come home. Especially to a nice and orderly house. Keep in mind, in order to experience that I have to hurdle the children when the van stops in the garage to be the first one in- because it only lasts for like a breath once they return and dump their shoes, jackets, bags, purses, crap all over the place and rummage the fridge for a snack immediately upon entering.

But in order to have that moment of heaven upon returning- it means I must actually, you know, clean it. Bluck.

Better start in the bathroom- it smells like a giant wet dog and is covered in globs of wet dog hair.

There is another purpose to this mad cleaning before leaving for a trip though. I always worry about something happening while we're gone and someone having to come into my home. And having them think we are pigs. The we- that would again be me- because I'm the one responsible for cleaning. It's kind of like the 'always wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident' thinking. I would hate to have folks gossiping over my casket about what a filthy mess my house was. At least if I leave it clean, all they will have to talk about is how jam packed every single closet was with a jumbled mess. That I can live with.

Despite the overbusy-ness of this week, I am looking forward to some downtime with these crazy yahoos who I call my family. Although, if I don't quit being so crabby, I'm afraid the feeling might not be mutual. Looks like I better unpack the Xanex and partake now. Which won't be a problem, since I haven't actually began the physcial packing part : )

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