Saturday, April 24, 2010

I will see the good...........

I had an experience at work last week that made me realize that I am absolutely the worst judge of character.  I am not good at picking out good people.  I trust.  I believe.  I see the good.  When it does not always come forward, I realize that I suck at reading people.  Really bad.

I promised myself that day that I would no longer trust that people are good.  And I won't trust my judgement when it comes to picking out sincerely good people. Trust no one- my new motto.

Today- after my second trip to Meijer for yet more mulch- I was anxious to get home and get it spread before the rain came.  While loading it, I noticed one more bag of big path chunks I needed.  So I loaded it up with the stuff I had already paid for.

When I drove back around to the nursery area, there were like 14 people in line.  My back was aching, my feet were tired and for crying out loud, I had already waited in that line- twice- today.

So I ran up to the next person in line and I extended $3 to her and asked that she throw another bag of path mulch on her order and she could keep the change.  Win Win- right?  She gave me the meanest smile- looked me right in my eyes- shook her head no and then said it too.  She was a mean woman. 

I cried.

She must have encountered so many people who have ripped her off, wronged her and lied that she trusts no one- and for her I hate that because it must be an aweful way to live.  Just aweful.  We live in such a fallen world.  I hate our stupid, non trusting, mean spirited fallen world sometimes.

Either that or I looked like a maniac sweaty mess of a woman who was running around waving dollar bills.  Either way- why be a big meanie?

I cried the entire time I was spreading all that stupid mulch.  What a mean woman.  I wanted to flip her off.  I really did.  But instead, I have tried to pray for her.  (I prayed that she'd feel bad for making me feel bad-just being honest)

Fallen world.  Stupid fallen world.

I decided today that I will still trust people to be good.  That is not a flaw in my character.  And I can not possibly live a life like that old bat at Meijer- I just can't.

Steal my purse, hack into my bank account, door knock my car in the parking lot.  I still believe people are fundamentally good.  I really do.

Tomorrow- no church (again) for me- we are heading to Grandma & Grandpa's, dropping the kids and Dan and Mamaw, me and possibly Ally are heading to IKEA!  Yeah IKEA! Yeah Me!  Speaking of being fundamentally good- I sure hope God isn't taking attendance at church- we've been huge slackers lately!

We still got your back God!  Even if we have it at IKEA! 

1 comment:

Sharon said...

Mynde, my darlin', never quit looking for the good. A person finds what they look for -- when one only looks with mistrust for any bad that might be there, they see it. By the same token, when one looks for the good (no matter how deep it may be buried), it also will be seen. It's the old 'SEEK AND YE WILL FIND' -- I think that's absolutely what that means and I have never been failed. You gotta have that childlike faith. I also believe it is VERY IMPORTANT especially in the society we live in today that we as human beings practice that -- otherwise, I think that evil things will have opportunity to grow if that is all we seek out. I don't like to give bad things strength by believing in them.

The prayer for the evil, rude selfish lady perhaps should be that God heal her spirit so that she too can find good in others as apparently all she can see right now is mistrust.

Love you........Mom