I had an experience at work last week that made me realize that I am absolutely the worst judge of character. I am not good at picking out good people. I trust. I believe. I see the good. When it does not always come forward, I realize that I suck at reading people. Really bad.
I promised myself that day that I would no longer trust that people are good. And I won't trust my judgement when it comes to picking out sincerely good people. Trust no one- my new motto.
Today- after my second trip to Meijer for yet more mulch- I was anxious to get home and get it spread before the rain came. While loading it, I noticed one more bag of big path chunks I needed. So I loaded it up with the stuff I had already paid for.
When I drove back around to the nursery area, there were like 14 people in line. My back was aching, my feet were tired and for crying out loud, I had already waited in that line- twice- today.
So I ran up to the next person in line and I extended $3 to her and asked that she throw another bag of path mulch on her order and she could keep the change. Win Win- right? She gave me the meanest smile- looked me right in my eyes- shook her head no and then said it too. She was a mean woman.
She must have encountered so many people who have ripped her off, wronged her and lied that she trusts no one- and for her I hate that because it must be an aweful way to live. Just aweful. We live in such a fallen world. I hate our stupid, non trusting, mean spirited fallen world sometimes.
Either that or I looked like a maniac sweaty mess of a woman who was running around waving dollar bills. Either way- why be a big meanie?
I cried the entire time I was spreading all that stupid mulch. What a mean woman. I wanted to flip her off. I really did. But instead, I have tried to pray for her. (I prayed that she'd feel bad for making me feel bad-just being honest)
Fallen world. Stupid fallen world.
I decided today that I will still trust people to be good. That is not a flaw in my character. And I can not possibly live a life like that old bat at Meijer- I just can't.
Steal my purse, hack into my bank account, door knock my car in the parking lot. I still believe people are fundamentally good. I really do.
Tomorrow- no church (again) for me- we are heading to Grandma & Grandpa's, dropping the kids and Dan and Mamaw, me and possibly Ally are heading to IKEA! Yeah IKEA! Yeah Me! Speaking of being fundamentally good- I sure hope God isn't taking attendance at church- we've been huge slackers lately!
We still got your back God! Even if we have it at IKEA!