Thursday, April 22, 2010

And the two shall become one..............until one gets put on nights and is never home again

There is this tree in our neighborhood.  Any other time of the year, it looks like one tree.  But during the Spring, it becomes obvious that it is two trees planted really really close together.

Half blooms pink, half blooms white.  It is something I look forward to seeing every year.  It is so pretty to me.

It reminds me of marriage.  At a glance, you appear to be one- but if you look closely you can still see the differences.  Clearly each of these trees has its own root system, nourishes itself- but from the same soil as the other.  And they depend on each other, they lean on each other and grow together.  They soak up the same sunshine, and weather the same wind and storms.  Together, but still two trees.

With Dan gone all of the time now, I feel like I have lost half of my tree- like I have nothing left to lean on and I am holding myself up all alone.  When he's home in the morning he's sleeping.  When he's awake I'm at work.  When I get home he leaves.  I don't think I have ever in my entire life felt so very alone.  I want to be strong- especially for him and the kids- but it really is wearing on me.  And this morning I just had to dump it out here, my virtual lawn of sorts.

We are still one unit- we are still strong.  Half of us has just been transplanted to the other side of the city for a while, that's all.  (Thank you God that he still has a job.........any chance you could move him back to a more normal shift?)

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