November 15?

Here it is, mid November, and I'm standing here scratching my head wondering HOW?

I mean I didn't even post most anything in October, which is my favorite month EVER.  And I keep thinking since it's so early in November, I could just do an October recap.

But now it's mid november, and that seems kind of late.

Plus I'm having computer picture issues which is why my blogging is jacked.  I really like to throw in a fuzzy picture and due to 'technical difficulties' I'm pictureless.

Make the most of this day ya'll- because the rest of 2012 is gonna fly by.

I can't wipe the smile off my soul!

Do you remember last May when I posted about how I had that super excited giddy feeling that as a kid you would get the night before Christmas?  It was like I was anxiously waiting for something really GREAT to come and I just had no idea what it was, but I knew that the feeling was coming from God.  Like I was feeling His excitement and sharing in it with him.

And until last night, I was still so anxious as to what it was.  But I had kind of figured out it had to do with Allyson.  In fact, in church one day I was standing in worship, silently praying as tears poured from my eyes for the loss I was feeling, I was missing our Zion church family so desperately.  The comfortable atmosphere we had worshipped in for 15 years, all of the people, our dear sweet friends whom I still love so much......I was missing them and I was asking WHY!  Clear as a bell, I heard it in my heart....."It was for her".  As I glanced down the aisle at Allyson, it all made sense.

Last night, while casually finishing up a bowl of ice cream wayyyy past her bed time, Allyson told me that while she was at church camp this summer (the church camp she dreaded going to but we kind of forced encouraged her to go.  The one with the church that she hated and would NEVER call her own.  The one that she complained non stop about for MONTHS!) she folded her hands and with the love of a new friend lifted her life to Christ Jesus and accepted him as her savior.

PRAISE BE TO GOD!

She hadn't told us because she thought we would be disappointed in her that she hadn't done it sooner.  She will never understand how very thankful I am for her.......and for this beautiful relationship she is building with Jesus.  12.  40. 65.  78.  Doesn't matter.  I am so thankful this morning I can't quit crying.

This entire journey has been so painful.  I could not imagine why God was calling us out of our previous church.  Why?  Why God would you ask us to leave your house just to go do another one?  Why would we have to leave all of our friends and church family?  Why would He turn the heart of a woman whom I loved so much totally against me and cause such calloused horribleness where love used to dwell?  Why would the pastor treat us like we were outsiders?  Because I wouldn't listen, that's why.

I have prayed my regret to the Lord so many times over the year.  I have felt nothing but his blessings showering down on me, even when my daughter was so angry at us for dragging her to this new stupid church (her words, not mine).  His plan was so perfect, all we needed to do was have faith.  And once we finally did, and gave up ourselves to his plan despite all of the tears and pain it has caused in the process, it proved to be so perfect.

This is only the beginning of her faith journey.  But a beautiful beginning it is.  Thank you Jesus, for claiming Ally as your own.  I Love You!

Love notes

Sam is learning to read and write.

Warms a mommas heart.

Really still here

Wow- it does seem that this blog is dying a slow death.  For so many years, the ones sprinkled with tiny children and a house that we rarely left, it was my lifeline.  I could not wait to update it almost every single day- and sometimes twice a day.  I dreamed of some huge company 'finding' my little blog and I could make a career out of being a writer.

And now?  Now I can barely muster the energy to update it.  What's up with that? 

It's not that there haven't been super fun exciting moments in our family.  Ally turned 13.  We went to the pumpkin patch before October 31.  I almost murdered my whole family trying to prepare to leave for vacation.  So what's going on?

I'm not sure if this funk will ever snap- but if it does, I'll be spilling my 'funny' (aka- super strange sense of humor) all over this here blog.

On a sidenote- we are back from our journey.  It will be a loooooooong time before I agree to that kind of car ride again.

You're gonna be happy damn it

So in just two short days we are leaving for the happiest place on earth.

And although I am happy about the wonderful vacation and potential memories we are gonna make..... the momma in me who is trying to prepare this family of five for vacation is STRESSED OUT.

And when you fold into that mess a preteen girl who is CONSTANTLY sharing her feelings about not wanting to go on vacation, well it's just a recipe for disaster.

I've had the busiest past few weeks of my life, and I am so ready for some time to just enjoy.  If these children don't cooperate, I'm going to stuff them in a luggage carrier on top of the car.

Vocab Words

Yesterday evening, me and the kids were in the car on our way to Ally's band concert.

I asked Ally to read Emily her spelling words so that she could get her pre-test out of the way during the drive. 

Right smack dab in the middle of the list, Emily shares that the word SEX has two meanings.

After I got the car back on the road, I snatched that spelling list out of Ally's hands so fast that the papercuts sliced off a finger or two.  After quickly scanning the list, I realized SEX is not one of the words.

I then calmly inquired as to HOW ON EARTH DID YOU COME TO THIS CONCLUSION AND WHY ARE YOUR TALKING ABOUT IT!?!?!?!?

Turns out a little boy in her class, we will call him A$$HOLE to protect his innocence, has been looking up dirty words in the dictionary and sharing his findings with his classmates.  Emily said that one meaning for SEX is male or female.  I could not let her share the other meaning.  Dear Lord I truly hope she doesn't know the other meaning, please tell me sweet little A$$HOLE didn't share the other meaning----because the only meaning in the dictionary is male vs. female (thank you Websters).

I looked over at Ally and I thought her face was going to explode she was laughing so hard.  And then she quietly said "Perhaps we shouldn't play with A$$HOLE.  Alright- #7 WEEK".

Lord I love these kids.

A Heavy Heart

Prayer is powerful.  It just is.  I don't believe it is a time to lay a wish list at Gods feet though.  Because God knows what He is doing, I'm not sure He needs me to tell Him what to do next.  He's not a genie I've heard others say.  I can share my wishes- but they may not change the outcome of His plan.  Therefore, part of my prayer is always that I can see His glory in whatever the outcome is- because I want my heart to always see His plan, His faithfulness, His glory.........regardless of if I got my outcome or not.

During prayer, it is a time to thank God for just being............well.........Him.  And for calling me out of the darkness into His light.  He could have totally left me there in the dark and alone.  But He wants all His children to return to Him, He's cool like that.

It's also a time to listen to the inklings that He lays on our hearts.  I try to always pray that I am open and obedient to what He calls me to do. That I would hear Him and respond in a way that glorifies Him.

During a mom's prayer time yesterday, I was overcome.  He has called me, over 9 months ago, to take care of something for Him.  And I have stuffed it down- over and over again.  I never once thought that the constant thoughts were coming from God, I assumed they were coming from me and I didn't know what to do with them.  Yesterday I realized that He had asked me to do something, and I'd ignored him.  Really, I haven't ignored Him, I just have kept putting it off.

When He laid it on my heart.........again..........I just began to cry.  Oh Lord I've done it again, I keep asking for the insight to hear your calls, and I wasn't listening.  I still have no idea what He wants me to do, but I am certain He is going to let me know.  And this time I am ready, and I will do whatever it is He leads my heart to do.

God is that little voice in your heart.   Sometimes He tells you to drop an email to a friend- you don't know it but they may need that bit of encouragement right at that second.  Other times He leads you to bake an extra loaf of banana bread to drop off at a friends house- because they are struggling and God knows that having the support of a friend might give them joy.  Other times He might lead you to offer an outgoing comment to a perfect stranger at the grocery, because He needs them to be reminded of Him.  But He never calls us to hurt others or to point out flaws- He would never want us to tear someone down.  Nope, that is all us and our egos that do that.

On the radio yesterday I heard a very interesting statement. 
"God would never want us to point out flaws in others.  He calls us to LOVE."

Sometimes people become self righteous as they grow in their bible knowledge and feel that they have to point out ways that other people are sinning.  My prayer is that they can continue to grow in the love of our Lord, the love of Christ Jesus, and move past all the 'religion' and find the LOVE. 

Not sure why I felt like I wanted to share all of this today- but there you go.  I hope your day is AWESOME!

How to have a successful yardsale

How to have a successful yardsale:

1. Throw a tantrum, decide your house/cabinets/closets/toyboxes are too full (after tripping over a dumptruck and landing on a lego) and begin making piles, boxes and bags in every corner of every room of your home.  But don't price it as you put it in the bag- no way- it's too much fun staying up until 2am pricing each little happy meal toy the night before the sale and you won't want to deprive yourself of that glory.

2.  Allow children to play in said piles, boxes and bags and essentially drag out every dag gone thing you have put in them.

3.  Gather back together and move it to the garage.

4.  Never pick a date and eventually plan your sale for the freezing temperatures of Fall in an effort to get rid of said pile in the garage so you can put your car back in there........someday.

5.  Organize the pile and move it to a cart and shelves, and then wheel the cart around the garage to feel productive.  And then park it back where it was- right where the car used to be.

6.  Stack folding tables in  your garage to tell yourself you mean business and you really are gonna do this thing.  And then don't curse under your breath when you bump into them and knock them all down.

7.  Pick a date.  Then move it, twice, because your daughter can't decide on a good time for her birthday party.  Finally park it right on a fabulous date for a sale that includes 3 other activities, but you're certain you can do it all because you are some kind of a freak.

8.  Buy fancy chalkboard labels.  Don't be really sure what you need them for or what purpose they will serve, but just be certain you need them.  And while you are there at the Martha Stewart office supply section- spend $10 on fancy metal rimmed tags on strings- because your useless stuff will look more sheek if they have the right price tags.

9. Begin gathering other peoples yard sale stuff and offer to sell it in your sale.  Because you are so organized and prepared, why can't you handle 3 other peoples items in addition to your own?  Tracking sales will be a breeze since your things have the expensive a$$ price tags- just sayin.

10. Contemplate putting it all on the front porch for the DAV, including those fancy chalkboard labels, and call it a day. 

11. Change your mind and follow through with this plan, but only because you promised the kids their time to shine by having a lemonade stand.  A lemonade stand that you will end up running because they are going to be too busy playing with all the toys in the sale and taking them back into the house.

12.  Write a blog post about it, rather than actually doing it.

The End, and you're welcome.  Good luck!

I'm a WINNER!

I won!  I won! I can't believe I WON!

See- over at The Coupon Goddess, she gives away some pretty cool stuff.  That's what happens when your blog is interesting and fun and lots and lots and lots of people read it- you get sponsors and companies that give you stuff to review..........and even PAY you to advertise on your blog. And then you have lots of stuff to give away!  She's changing the focus of her blog- away from coupons and on to food blogging.  I still read her though- her life story is an interesting one that involves four kids and a near death accident last summer that she not only survived, but has thrived ever since.

I'm a sucker for inspirational life stories- what can I say.

The point here is that she gave away a box of stuff from a blogger conference (oh how I would LOVE to go to a blogger conference) and I WON IT!

 Dude- I could hardly wait for this bad boy to arrive.  She didn't detail everything that would be in it- but I just knew it would be some awesome stuff!

 And boy was I right!  Although I will say there was some rather embarrassing items included (not going to go into detail- but Eden's Fantasies was a large sponsor of the blogger event- and there were some items from them.........stop looking, I took them out of the photo)

 Fake nails, shopping bags, chapstick, t-shirts, jewelry............we had so much fun going through this box!!!

 Not to mention tons of coupons and giftcards!  Some for free product, some really high dollar product coupons, some store gift cards, some website giftcards!!!

 A super cool t-shirt!

 A reflective runners headband (how cute is that!)

 Hot wheel cars!

And even a stuffed bean bag Hot Pocket that Rosie claimed as her own.

There was something for everyone- even Dan got a $25 giftcard to Hanes.com.  But I will spare you the photos of him in his new skivvies.  You're welcome.

An update

I know I should offer some sort of an update, but I'm stuck.  Stuck in a land of undecided paint colors, animals trapped behind fireplaces and tears that fall for no reason.  A land where my children are gone all day and I really just don't have anything to share. 

Damn- there come the tears again.

Everything is fine- I'm just in a strange place right now as the dynamics in our home change.

Yuck.

Interior Design Nightmares and the woman who create them

I know what you're thinking- you LOVE what we've done with the place.  Decorating is not really my thing- but this time I think I've hit the nail on the head.  Bringing in the 15 foot scaffolding was a bit of a gamble, but I think it adds a bit of hominess. 

The reality is, last June my husband began the process of closing off the window from the upstairs playroom to our living area.  Thus making the play room, allyson's personal bedroom.  All three of our children officially have their own bedrooms now.

And once the drywall was hung and kind of in place- all progress stopped.

So for 3 months our living room has had dry wall dust and a half finished wall.......classy.

This week, Dan has begun trying to finish it up.

And it is a long process, I'm here to tell you.  We can't even use the living room right now- which is cool since we all have our own space we can escape to.

My largest concern is that I need to make a decision on paint. 

When we bought this house, I spent hours and hours and hours with tiny paint samples, colorful cards and magazines to select the perfect colors for our entire house.

And then we proceeded to paint every room elephant gray.

Yes- I managed to pick a different shade of gray for every.single.room.

You see this is not a gift, right?

So now, for almost a year, I've begun the process of picking a new perfect color for our living space (which includes the hallway, entry way and the kitchen- it's a commitment dude).

Apparently I'm leaning toward browns.  I thought I was last time too when everything turned gray instead.

I have a friend who randomly paints walls, furniture, children- it always turns out beautiful.  Then, a few months later, she does it again.  She says it's JUST paint.

Yeah.

I really need whatever I pick out, to really love it.  I just need to LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

I can't paint all of this again if I manage to pick some lamo horrible color.

I need help.  Or I need to at least paint the scaffolding if it's going to be a permanent part of our home.

It's tough being a girl

I bought Ally a box of home waxing strips. 

Ally has been getting her face waxed at the salon, by actual hair waxing professionals.  But see, I'm cheap stretching our resources, and therefore this time when it came due- I hesitated to shell out twenty bucks to tend her lip when I could get 12 wax strips for five.  So we gave it a whirl.

I came into the bathroom after she finished and her lip looked good.  A little red, but mainly hairless.  So I thought, what the heck- I'm doing me too!  I used to wax my face when Dan's mom was an active beautician and she would do it for free out of love.  But since then, I've taken to plucking and fancy trimmers.

I warmed the strip in my hands.
I carefully applied to my lip, being careful not to include my actual lip.
I rubbed and waited.
Then I grabbed the end and ripped it off as fast as I could and HOLY HECK the pain was everything I remembered!!!!  I was anticipating, since it was a cheap at home kit, that it wouldn't work as well.  But it did.  I swear to you, had I not already had the other half glued on the other side of my lip, I wouldn't have gone through with it a second time. I would today have half a mustache.

After I dried my tears and stopped mumbling about the pain, I applied the oily clothe thing and in my head wondered what would keep that oil from making tons of pimples in the raw open pores that I just rubbed it in?

And this morning, I discovered that the answer is NOTHING.  My lip is swollen up like a crazy nut ball and is loaded with giant mosquito bite looking things!  (Ally looks fine- by the way- at least she can have a relatively free from embarrassment day).

You can stop scrolling down- there are no pictures.  As if I would do THAT to myself.

Will I do this again?  Probably.  Being beautiful comes at a cost.  But next time, I will not do it with anyone in the bathroom with me.  Allyson was laughing so hard, which didn't help my pain at all.  No audience and some stridex pads- that is what I'm gonna try next time.

The dog is a better farmer than I am

In the spring, I did what I always do.  Plan a garden.

Dan tilled my stuff up.

The kids bought me lots of different fabulous veggie plants for mothers day.

And I planted.  This time I ran string and created a grid- very formal.  None of that crazy love garden planting I did last year.  No way, this time I was serious.

Emily made a map so we could keep track of what we had done.

And then I watered and waited and watered and waited and watered.

Everything died except the tomatoes.  And they have yet to get any bigger than a golf ball before ripening.  It's a sad sad excuse for a garden.  And dang I really tried.

And then low and behold- right in the middle of the yard I noticed this.....

A pumpkin vine.  Last Fall our crazy dog loved taking the kids pumpkins and pumpkin parts as we were out back carving and running around the yard with them.  We gave her a little pumpkin to 'play' with when Halloween had passed- and I do believe that this is where she left it.

No water.  No tilling.  No chart.  No strings.  No rows.  No planning. Nothin.

Unbelievable.

I read an article on how to 'artificially inseminate' pumpkin plants to ensure fruit and I was contemplating grabbing some qtips and giving it a try, but chances are if I go near it, it will die. 

I'll just leave the heavy farm lifting to Rosie I guess.

What do YOU do?

I coupon.

We have family that could really use the benefits of couponing, but I can't get them to think BEYOND the thought of saving $.30 on an item they don't need anyway.  She always says that most coupons are for things she wouldn't normally buy and then she spends more than she would have trying to use them.

And there have most certainly been times in my past I did the same thing.

But now I am a couponer, as opposed to someone who uses coupons.

I watch sales, I know the sale cycles, I shop multiple stores and buy only the items on sale, and I combine store incentives with my coupons to get double bang for my buck.  And I don't buy one of that item when I find a great deal at or below my price point- I buy 4-6 of them.  That is what a couponer does.

I pay $.50-$.80 for a jar of spaghetti sauce. I pay nothing for shampoo, toothpaste, make up and deodorant.  I never pay for than $1 for a box of cereal (name brand cereal).  I most generally don't pay more than $2 for laundry detergent and even milk can be bought with a store credit earned or a coupon used.  There are very few times that I grocery shop and pay for than 50% of whatever the shelf tags say.

Sure- there are things you can't get around.  Fresh meats, fruits and vegetables.  But when they are on sale, I try and stock up.  And if they are not on sale, I look for an alternative that is.  Grapes at $3 a pound?  We go for the bananas on sale for $.29 lb that week.  Chicken at full price?  How about tacos instead with the $2 ground beef.  Nothing else, we fall back on spaghetti- cause you know I have multiple jars of sauce in my cabinet.

I shop smart, or at least I try to.  I buy light bulbs when they are free, even though I have a package in the cabinet, because eventually I'll use them and that is a savings.  I stock up on Advil when it is $.40 a bottle so that I don't ever have to pay $5 for it when I actually have a headache.  I have more canned tomatoes in my cabinet than I would ever dreamed possible- but at less than $.10 a can how could I go wrong?  I've had to make room in a few extra cabinets in my kitchen to store the food- but I never worry about not having plenty for my family now.

And I MAKE money sometimes with store deals.  Which I apply to the stuff that is hard to save on. 

I read blogs daily (hip2save and the krazy coupon lady are my favorites) and I read the store circulars like it is my job.  It takes time, but I love it and therefore I never think of it as a chore.  And if one week it starts to feel like a chore?  Then I don't do it.  And I don't worry about missing a week or two of deals because I know I have most everything we need in my cabinets already.  And if there is a product for free that we will never use, I most generally pass on it.  Unless it is something that would be useful to the food bank or someone I love- then I pass it along.

For our family, it works.  It is who I am and who I have always been- I've just refined it a bit.  And I LOVE doing it.  I feel like I'm hunting and there is such a victory in stretching an already tight grocery budget even farther!

UP!

 Yesterday was just a regular ordinary day.

Dan is working nights/afternoons/early evenings this week, so I suppose that is out of the norm.

 And both Emily and Sam stayed home sick yesterday, one with a huge headache and one with a stomach thing- probably both the same thing. That was not normal.

 Oh- and Dan burnt up an entire tray of turkey bacon in the microwave and you can smell that horrible odor from as far as the mailbox.  I had to boil lemons in the microwave just to begin to make it less stinky. That is (thankfully) something we don't do every day.

 And I suppose that there is one more thing that was a bit different.......... I GOT TO GO ON A HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE!!!!

 One of the generous souls at the air show has been teasing me for years that he was going to take me up, and then yesterday he called and confirmed that last night was the perfect night for a flight.  AND he wanted me to bring Allyson!

 It was without a doubt AMAZING!  This world that we live in, the one I drove through on the way to his home, seemed much more ugly than once we were up above it.  All the ugly melted away and all I could see was beauty.

 I was amazed at how glorious this experience was.  And that I got to experience it with Allyson???  So amazing.

 This was the poor soy bean field we we 'scruffed off' some speed before landing.  Poor beans.

 This was our pilot.  Who was also Ally's 5th grade teacher.  God is amazing.  No coincidence there, I'm sure.  She was calm and reassuring, in command and yet relaxed.  She made it such a beautiful ride for us.

 I had a hard time snapping this picture because I had to let go of the death grip I had on my pole- but it was so amazing I had to take it.  And then I grabbed my pole again.  It is so quiet and calm up in a balloon.  Yet you can hear small children screaming HI and dogs barking and chasing your shadow on the ground below.  At one point we were 1000 feet up, at some points we were 300.  It was unreal.

We live in a broken world where mean and hatefulness seems to fill even the most gentle of people.  It is a true testimony to our Lord that HIS peace and love still live in this land when a group of people give their entire evening to someone else, just because they want to.  That gift that was given to Ally and I was not lost, and I will be forever grateful for the kindness, given out of Christian love and goodness, that was given to me.  I feel renewed that the world can be good, that people can be good, and that God's good is continuing to flourish.

One day at a time

School is up and running.  Which means that the calendar is filling.  Or is already full.  Or over filling. Over flowing.

Whatever.

Every time I turn around someone is handing me an 8.5X11 sheet of paper full of things to add to the calendar.  Sports.  Church.  Girlscouts.  Boyscouts.  School.

I'm sure that this is nothing that every other family in the country isn't going through as well.  I'm just choosing to whine about it, and since this is my blog my busy schedule trumps yours.  At least in my head.

I sat last night and added all of our 'things' to the calendar that I know of for now through December.  And dude- the next free day we have is January 1.  Only because I don't have that calendar yet, of course.  But even though our calendar is still in shrinkwrap at the store, I'm sure we are scheduled to do something that day already.

I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world.  These children.  This home.  These things that they love to do.  But I would totally slow it all down if I could.

But I can't.  So instead I will head to the store and buy a new calendar.  One with days the size of dinner plates so there is room for everything.  At least in theory.

A Hot Mess

I just threw the kids out the door to school.

Yes- threw.

The bus comes earlier every day.  Which is really frustrating when you are the mom of a child who refuses to do anything quickly.

Ally is getting up easily this year and stays focused.  Most days shes ready in time to actually have to wait for the bus.  And Sam- he is like a rocket.  I never expected his mornings to be so easy, but man am I grateful. 

Grateful because Emily- well she is NOT like a rocket.  It takes that child twice as long to do anything.  And she pushes the limits when it comes to time.  This morning she was one bite into her breakfast and in her bedroom trying to find shoes when the bus came, 10 minutes early.

It creates stress in my mom heart.  I can't handle it.

Not to mention she was wearing these atrocious shorts covered in neon peace signs, love and doodles- her baseball jersey from two years ago- and a pair of tennis shoes that have seen their better days.  And she didn't even have them on, she had just slipped her feet into them and was shuffling down the drive.

Would a good mom have let her stumble into her world like that?  Man, I just don't know.  But it's what I did.

Each day this week seems busier than the one before- and I feel like we're ALREADY hanging by a thread.  Time for this mom to get an organized plan together for our lives instead of letting them just happen.

Today- help clean my mother in laws new condo, home for a quick shower, lunch with sam, lunch with emily, work for a couple hours, home to gather kids off the bus, try to do a couple loads of laundry and whip up some supper before it's time to leave for a girl scout event for emily and softball practice for ally.  Oh- and Dan has to go back to work at his moms tonight, so apparently all the evening stuff is on me.

I would cry but there is not time.  I'm just feeling s t r e t c h e d too thin and about to snap!

My husband acts like he knows EVERYTHING

Dan and I have different views on a lot of stuff.

Mine mostly switch back and forth all the time depending on my mood, the moon cycle, and how much coffee I've had.

Sometimes I'm easy going and laid back.  Sure- drag every single toy we own out in the yard and spread it all over.  Sure- draw all over my van with sidewalk chalk, it will wash.  Sure- dig up a giant hole to drive your monster trucks in and discard the mountain of dirt wherever you want.

Sometimes I'm not.  But really, what mom isn't?

But for the most part if it gets the kids outside working off some sillies- I say go for it.  Just please, for the love of pete, DON'T BREAK ANY MORE BONES.

That being said- I am in favor of the slip and slide.  My husband, he says it will kill the grass.  As if leaving the slip and slide in the yard for two measley days will kill the grass.  Peeshaw (do people say that anymore? or did they stop saying that when I was in high school?  if so- I say bring it back.  It's a highly useful term). 

Regardless-The grass most certainly will not die from just a couple days of high plastic usage.  Lighten up Dan.

Well- I'm off to look for some fast growing grass seed.  Happy Monday!

Don't order soup if you want a sandwich

It has taken me every ounce of my 37 years to realize things about other people.

Some people are calloused.

Some people will not ever hold their tongue to spare someone elses feelings.  Nor will they every realize that I hold mine to spare theirs.

Some people will judge you, constantly and repeatedly.  Regardless of what they say to you, or how they act, they are judging you and in their head they think they are right.

Some people act like they are close to God, when in reality they are so very far from Him.

Some people just want to hurt.  They have no desire, ever, to care or love.  They just take a satisfaction in hurting someone else.

I have always assumed that there is good in people.  That ALL people were thinking of others feelings, so if they went out of their way to say something mean to me then it MUST be a huge issue and they just had to share it.  But now I see that some people just share the mean stuff all the time, regardless.

I am accepting of other people.  I have friends of all types, and I love them (sincerely) for the people that they are and who God created them to be.  I am also very sensitive, and I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Sometimes people will change their directions just to squish it.

People can be jerks.  No matter how much forgiveness I try to seek, they still are.

I'm so thankful I married a genuinely kind and loving man- he takes me for the woman the Lord created me to be and he never once makes me feel like it's not enough.  Thank you Dan.

And thank you God.  For you do the same.

A holiday of sorts

I can not begin to tell you what a blessing this weekend was.

With the kids going back to school and all the chaos that THAT brings, I think we were all in need of something fun.

And Saturday, we headed far far away to Santa Clause Indiana to Holiday World.

It's just a little hole in the wall amusement park but it has this GIGANTIC water park, of which there are no pictures of because HELLO- we were in the water?!?

I am here to tell you that listening to Christmas music and riding Santa themed rides does not change the fact that I had swear rolling down every crevice of my being. 

 It was HOT!

Emily wanted to ride these rockets so dag gone bad- but she was a bit too tall and over the weight limit.  She wanted to ride the seahorses too- but same deal.

I must say- this was our first trip to a park where all of our children were tall enough to ride whatever they want- and too tall for some (as emily found out).

We rode the white water rapids, log flumes, scramblers, eagle things, giant water roller coasters, whatever we wanted.

Dan and I even got to ride roller coasters with Ally- who is now apparently a roller coaster guru.

The kids LOVED this little ride in the kiddie part.

First it takes them way up.......

And then drops them just like that.

This was Emily's favorite ride.  She is not a huge risk taker and doesn't so much love the fear that comes with crazy rides.  This was right on pace.  Please notice Allyson in the last car, being a good sport.  Kind of- at least, even with a scowl and her arms folded, she is on it.

And here she is again, thrilled to be riding the train.  I made us all wait in line for EVER to ride the train ride.  Only I didn't realize we were going to have to basically fold our legs over our heads and not BREATHE during the hold thing as we stuffed ourselves into these tiny little cars without room for your legs.

Here are Sam and Emily in the caboose.  Please note Dan in the car ahead of them. His car was tiny teenier than Ally and I's- so basically he had to tear off his legs and leave them at the station.

And it was such a silly ride that just went around Holidog world and back.

But on that ride I realized that my kids know none of the nursery rhymes- which is basically a big parenting fail (they had statues acting them out and they didn't know any of them).

Emily even made me explain what happened to Jack and Jill.

So sad.

Here is a super great picture of Dan and Sam riding the super high swing things.  Sam LOVED anything that went fast and high.  Dan was a good sport and rode with him since I would have thrown up (circle rides- carousels included- don't work for me, or Ally, or Emily we found out)(but she didn't puke even though she said she was going to- yay emi!)

Basically that's all the photos I took.  I was too busy just enjoying my family and the time we'd been given.  Luckily, Sam apparently snapped quite a few photos from our breakfast at the hotel though- so I have something to offer.....

 Even though we didn't check into the hotel until midnight- house keeping was kind enough to begin banging on our door at 9am.  They wanted to see if we'd checked out yet.  Kind and generous people. 

 So much for sleeping in because she woke up Sam who began asking immediately how long until lunch.  We were so busy at the water park we skipped dinner.  And when we left the park, we were too tired to eat.  The boy woke up STARVING.

(classy- I know.)

 The girls and their water goggles.  We had so much fun in the hotel pool until it was time to pack it up and head back home.

Such a great way to spend a weekend.  It was nice that everyone in our family was together and happy.  Even though Ally complained a bit about not having friends, that she'd rather be at home and that the rides were not like Kings Island- she was having fun.

Now back to reality- the one without santa rides, swimming pools and omelet stations.

Say WHAT?

At the end of every year in elementary school, the kids come home with a summer workbook.

I'm not sure if this is just to torture the parents, or the kids, or both.  Or because the school really thinks that we are going to just lay around and play video games all summer long while slowly turning our brains into soup.  Whatever the reason, and I'm sure there is one, the kids are asked to complete this workbook over the summer and return it the first week back to school.

And I knew it was coming.  And I didn't want to have the end of summer stress over completing/finding/working on said workbook.

So at the end of the year, I instantly grabbed the kids backpacks and pulled out all of the returned art projects, pencil boxes, piles of papers and the summer workbooks.  Except Sam didn't have one.  Only emily.

Strange.  I double checked but Sam most certainly did NOT have one.  Nor was their a letter about one. And since I checked the same day as they brought everything home, I was confident in my assessment.  Which is where I made my mistake.

So all summer, Emily faithfully did a page or two every few days.  Plugging right along.

Last week- just a few short days before school begins- Emily and I are looking over her completed work and how much is left to do.  We are chatting over why she has had to do it, why she WILL do it even if she doesn't want the ice cream treat, and why it is valuable.  And how strange it is that Sam didn't have one.

"That?  Oh I have one of those" he said, very casually while playing a video game and turning his brain into soup.

WHAT!?!?!?!?

Sam- it was not in your bookbag, you didn't bring one home?

"Yeah I did.  I put it in my desk drawer, I'll show you".

And there it was. A brand new, never touched, not a single flippin page completed summer workbook with a letter from the teacher tucked neatly inside.  Apparently he came straight home from school and took it right to his new desk in his room and tucked it away for safe keeping. And that was that.

And so for the last week of summer break, we have been working basically non stop on his summer workbook.  Tracing numbers, counting turtles, linking like items.  I can only hope that he will plow through the rest of it tonight in order to have it completed by tomorrow- the deadline.

Next year, I'm gonna stand at the door like a metal detector and scan them before they can come in the house.

And so it begins

I have always been a stay at home mom.  Sure- I've worked part time here and there- sometimes from home, lately at an office, sometimes not at all.  But my first and foremost job has always been right here at home.

So what do you when all of a sudden you are there alone?

 Today- Sam begins all day school.  All. Day. Long.  First Grade.  As I sit here the tears are stinging my eyes.  He is gone, there at school now.  They were going to play with playdough first thing this morning.  He and his giant backpack full of school supplies- gone.

When Emily began 1st grade I cried for weeks.  I'm not even joking.  It was aweful.  This is worse.
Same deal with Allyson.  When she was gone for the entire day, it almost sucked the wind right out of me.

 Once they start school, it all changes.  No more leisurely trips to the museum on boring afternoons.  No more surprise picnics at the park just for something to do.  No more midweek trips somewhere just to get away.  It's all very rigid and scheduled.

 And the years just zoom by and before you know it you have a grown woman standing in your front lawn.

So that leaves me here, alone.  Everyone is gone.  I don't have anywhere to be or to do.  Well- I could clean the house but lets not go CRAZY.  I suppose I'll make another cup of coffee, shed a few more tears and begin the count down for 2:00- when they come back home.

Last year I wrote about getting my pink slip.  That most certainly is how this feels, my services are no longer needed here.  I suppose I can just hope for the stomach flu or chicken pox- then I'll be back in business.