Wednesday, September 19, 2012

How to have a successful yardsale

How to have a successful yardsale:

1. Throw a tantrum, decide your house/cabinets/closets/toyboxes are too full (after tripping over a dumptruck and landing on a lego) and begin making piles, boxes and bags in every corner of every room of your home.  But don't price it as you put it in the bag- no way- it's too much fun staying up until 2am pricing each little happy meal toy the night before the sale and you won't want to deprive yourself of that glory.

2.  Allow children to play in said piles, boxes and bags and essentially drag out every dag gone thing you have put in them.

3.  Gather back together and move it to the garage.

4.  Never pick a date and eventually plan your sale for the freezing temperatures of Fall in an effort to get rid of said pile in the garage so you can put your car back in there........someday.

5.  Organize the pile and move it to a cart and shelves, and then wheel the cart around the garage to feel productive.  And then park it back where it was- right where the car used to be.

6.  Stack folding tables in  your garage to tell yourself you mean business and you really are gonna do this thing.  And then don't curse under your breath when you bump into them and knock them all down.

7.  Pick a date.  Then move it, twice, because your daughter can't decide on a good time for her birthday party.  Finally park it right on a fabulous date for a sale that includes 3 other activities, but you're certain you can do it all because you are some kind of a freak.

8.  Buy fancy chalkboard labels.  Don't be really sure what you need them for or what purpose they will serve, but just be certain you need them.  And while you are there at the Martha Stewart office supply section- spend $10 on fancy metal rimmed tags on strings- because your useless stuff will look more sheek if they have the right price tags.

9. Begin gathering other peoples yard sale stuff and offer to sell it in your sale.  Because you are so organized and prepared, why can't you handle 3 other peoples items in addition to your own?  Tracking sales will be a breeze since your things have the expensive a$$ price tags- just sayin.

10. Contemplate putting it all on the front porch for the DAV, including those fancy chalkboard labels, and call it a day. 

11. Change your mind and follow through with this plan, but only because you promised the kids their time to shine by having a lemonade stand.  A lemonade stand that you will end up running because they are going to be too busy playing with all the toys in the sale and taking them back into the house.

12.  Write a blog post about it, rather than actually doing it.

The End, and you're welcome.  Good luck!