And so it begins

I have always been a stay at home mom.  Sure- I've worked part time here and there- sometimes from home, lately at an office, sometimes not at all.  But my first and foremost job has always been right here at home.

So what do you when all of a sudden you are there alone?

 Today- Sam begins all day school.  All. Day. Long.  First Grade.  As I sit here the tears are stinging my eyes.  He is gone, there at school now.  They were going to play with playdough first thing this morning.  He and his giant backpack full of school supplies- gone.

When Emily began 1st grade I cried for weeks.  I'm not even joking.  It was aweful.  This is worse.
Same deal with Allyson.  When she was gone for the entire day, it almost sucked the wind right out of me.

 Once they start school, it all changes.  No more leisurely trips to the museum on boring afternoons.  No more surprise picnics at the park just for something to do.  No more midweek trips somewhere just to get away.  It's all very rigid and scheduled.

 And the years just zoom by and before you know it you have a grown woman standing in your front lawn.

So that leaves me here, alone.  Everyone is gone.  I don't have anywhere to be or to do.  Well- I could clean the house but lets not go CRAZY.  I suppose I'll make another cup of coffee, shed a few more tears and begin the count down for 2:00- when they come back home.

Last year I wrote about getting my pink slip.  That most certainly is how this feels, my services are no longer needed here.  I suppose I can just hope for the stomach flu or chicken pox- then I'll be back in business.