And until last night, I was still so anxious as to what it was. But I had kind of figured out it had to do with Allyson. In fact, in church one day I was standing in worship, silently praying as tears poured from my eyes for the loss I was feeling, I was missing our Zion church family so desperately. The comfortable atmosphere we had worshipped in for 15 years, all of the people, our dear sweet friends whom I still love so much......I was missing them and I was asking WHY! Clear as a bell, I heard it in my heart....."It was for her". As I glanced down the aisle at Allyson, it all made sense.
Last night, while casually finishing up a bowl of ice cream wayyyy past her bed time, Allyson told me that while she was at church camp this summer (the church camp she dreaded going to but we kind of
PRAISE BE TO GOD!
She hadn't told us because she thought we would be disappointed in her that she hadn't done it sooner. She will never understand how very thankful I am for her.......and for this beautiful relationship she is building with Jesus. 12. 40. 65. 78. Doesn't matter. I am so thankful this morning I can't quit crying.
This entire journey has been so painful. I could not imagine why God was calling us out of our previous church. Why? Why God would you ask us to leave your house just to go do another one? Why would we have to leave all of our friends and church family? Why would He turn the heart of a woman whom I loved so much totally against me and cause such calloused horribleness where love used to dwell? Why would the pastor treat us like we were outsiders? Because I wouldn't listen, that's why.
I have prayed my regret to the Lord so many times over the year. I have felt nothing but his blessings showering down on me, even when my daughter was so angry at us for dragging her to this new stupid church (her words, not mine). His plan was so perfect, all we needed to do was have faith. And once we finally did, and gave up ourselves to his plan despite all of the tears and pain it has caused in the process, it proved to be so perfect.
This is only the beginning of her faith journey. But a beautiful beginning it is. Thank you Jesus, for claiming Ally as your own. I Love You!