I got goals.................

New year, new you, new years resolutions, blah blah blah lalalalala.

More than with the changing of the calendar, I just feel it is time to change myself.  And this time I am for realz.

I'm going to become smaller.  I don't know how much smaller, I'm not sure I care.  But I am going to get control of this mess I have created.  Eat better- more fruits and veggies, less oreos and bread (sigh.....) maybe not less bread- but healthier bread?  Even that whole grain stuff? See- I am really serious.  It is a hard thing to wrap myself around- I obviously just don't eat well at all.  But now- my children (my emily in particular) is eating the same way.  If not for me- then for her, right?  I also have been feeling like I did right before I got the big gestational diabetes alert (sluggish, tired, sick at my stomach, peeing a lot, just blech) only this time I'm not pregnant.  I know that I have 'diabetes' (yeah yeah whatever)- but I haven't don't much about it other than switch to diet drinks.  No time like the present- and I just want to feel good.  Really- I just want to feel good.  So there is numero uno.

Bible Study.  Somehow this seems to get pushed and pushed and pushed until it falls from todays plan and moves to tomorrow where it gets rearranged again.  I need this in my life- and it has to be a priority.

Less screaming.  I am a yeller.  I hate it- but it is who I am.  I get all yelley anytime I get upset- and that is something I want to work on.  I now have three little yellers underneath me, and I hate that too.  First I'll work on me- then them. 

Isn't it funny how upsetting it is to see something about yourself that you don't particularly care for become present in your children?  It makes me even more mad at myself.  Then I get all 'stop that right now' with them- which has to make the sooooo confused because I'm sure they see that trait in me.

Uhg.

And just one more to make it an even four:  This year I will enroll my youngest child in kindergarten and not have a total and complete nervous breakdown (only a partial one).

There- that aught to do it.

Happy New Year 2011, Adios 2010 (wow, the fastest year yet I do believe).