Wowza! Yesterday I was feeling some super funk. Today- back to normal. Yay! My husband even called me yesterday after reading the old blog and said he was feeling sorry for me. Nothing to feel sorry about- I finally got the motivation to sew the girls curtains for their room, vacume up the horrible mess I made with the christmas decorations at the top of the stairs, run new lights up half the christmas tree (the half that mysteriously quit working last week) and get Mary Joseph and Baby Jesus out on the front lawn where they belong. Good day my friends- good day.
But while I have his ear- might I express my concern over a few other areas................
My sweet family (Dan this is for you AND the kids. Since they don't read my blog you will have to enlighten them) (thank you),
The bathroom countertop is NOT a laundry basket. The basket in your closets? That IS a laundry basket.
The small area to the left of the VCR- not a laundry basket either. Even though your socks will in fact fit in there *side eye to Sam*.
The candy basket is not a general snack shop. It is a candy basket. If you are hungry- try actual food. It is kept in the other cabinets- close to the candy basket cabinet.
Stop drinking my diet cokes (children- not Dan- Dan you are welcome to my diet cokes). If you are thirsty- drink something else. Anything else. Just not my diet cokes. They are my life blood and I need them.
For your coat hanging pleasure we now offer two areas for such use. One is an actual closet- interestingly enough coined the COAT CLOSET. The other are the coat hooks located right inside of the front door- which is convenient since you come in there. The floor, the dining room chairs, the sofa and the barstools are in fact NOT coat hooks. (this seems so familiar- have I blogged about this before???) Puh-leeeeeeze stop putting them there. Even you Dan. Yes you. I know- you are going to wear it again so why put it away. It's like that whole make the bed thing, I can't explain it. It just is what it is. Do we leave the dishes all over the kitchen table since we will eat there again? No. Do we leave the car running since we will drive it again? No. Same thing here- just put your coat in the closet- not on the barstools. And then your wife stays happy and all is well in our world. The end.
I am going to begin baking christmas goodies. You will be tempted to eat them every time you see them. Please don't. I will make them available to you in limited quantities as the timing is appropriate. But to just waltz into the kitchen and pop one of my home made hand crafted bites of buttery deliciousness casually into your mouth- not happening. Please.
We now have lego land mines in the living room. Please begin wearing shoes while in the house. But not the ones you just wore in from the snow. Those will be dripping wet stuff. Take those off (and put them on the tray by the door- the tray that catches all of the freakin' water- not casually tossed here and yonder all over the house) and put on some dry ones. They are probably piled up next to the door. Under your coats.
And speaking of drippy wet snow (this ones for the children)- Daddy has shoveled the walks and driveway. Therefore- there is not a need to go tearing across the front yard that has snow 6 inches deep in it to get to the bus/mailbox/bird you are chasing. If you are in fact not dressed in 'play in the snow' clothing- stay out of the snow. Your pants are covered, your shoes are covered, and there is snow inside of your socks. Quit.
One more thing about the coats. Is it really necessary for everyone to take their coat off the minute we get into the car? And then throw them on the floor? Where your wet drippy shoes begin thawing out over the top of them? And then you want me to wash them, again? Just leave your coat on. We are not driving to Omaha. We are going to Target. No more than 20 minutes to anywhere we go. Just leave them on. For the love of all things warm and snuggly- LEAVE THEM ON. In addition to the wet mess thing- I am tired (so very very tired) of standing in parking lots barking at you to find your coats, mittens, hats, zip them up, blah blah blah. It is winter- wear your coat. The end.
I think that about wraps this up- at least everything that comes to mind right now. Thanks for listening. I expect immediate results.