Tuesday, August 16, 2011

And then there were none

 After the girls buses were long gone and lunch time was looming- it was time to deliver my favorite little man for his first day of elementary.
 He had a difficult time deciding which brand spankin new monster truck t-shirt and pair of stretch shorts to wear.  Obviously he wouldn't do anything crazy like wear a golf shirt, because those are for church.  Duh.
 He was ready. I was not.

 The tears started filling my eyes around 30 minutes before he was due to be dropped off and eventually couldn't be disguised by my sunglasses anymore.  He asked why I was crying.  I explained that I was just so happy (which was a flat out LIE). 
 We pulled up and I told him it was time that he could get out and without hesitation he kissed his momma, jumped out and began running with the other little boys.  He didn't turn back, he didn't look over his shoulder, he was off and didn't have a care in the world.
I began counting down the time till the bus would bring them all back home. 

I know my job of parenting is far from over.  But I feel such a loss that it makes my eyes sting just to think about it.  Because all of my children are in school now.  And the pre-school years of my life is slamming shut.  All done.  And for a woman who spent her entire childhood looking forward to raising babies, it feels like there isn't much left to hang on to right now.  Other than waiting for the bus to bring my kids back home so that I can tell them to quit fighting, touching, poking and complaining about their dinner.

I feel kind of empty.

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