Two Birds- One Stone

I have pictures- but no story.  And a story- but no pictures.  I will combine them for you.

My teeth- they are rotting out of my head.  And that sucks since I endured braces for like 4 years just to make the stupid things straight.  And I say 'I endured' with absolutely no reflection what so ever on the cash my parents dished out to pay for the things (thanks mom & dad!)(got any more laying around- looks like your baby daughter could use some more dental funding?)(just sayin)

 Basically I was trotting along just fine but then this past Fall I had to have one root canal- that turned into two (surprise!) and now the pain is back in the one and it's probably gonna have to be pulled.  Which in reality, I was good to just get an antibiotic when the pain would come, but NOOOOO, my dentist got all whiny and said no more antibiotics for me- I had to have the root canal.  Good call dentist man, this makes MUCH more sense.

 This current pain I am in is kind of my fault because after we endured the multi-hundred dollar root canal, followed by the several hundred dollar permanent fillings- I was supposed to go back for crowns.  But I 'may' have put that off and now I've apparently cracked the root and although the pain isn't coming from the tooth- it's from the nerves around it or something.  But to be fair- he never said I could crack it and it would hurt.  He just said I would risk cracking it the longer I waited.

 Funny stuff dentist man.

 So I had a temporary crown installed to see if that would solve the pain.  But in the mean time, I've had another filling crack and chip out.  And then start hurting.  So basically I've had an ice pack to my head for a freaking week while my dentist vacationed somewhere tropical.

 So my crown appointment this week was switched to refill my already filled tooth hour- which is like happy hour only with more blood and drills and stuff and less half priced cocktails.

 And now next week is double crown week.  Which is probably going to be more like pull one tooth and put a crown on the other week.  Which means I may get my very own false tooth.  A multi thousand dollar false tooth.  I'm thinking they make it out of gold and diamonds or something, but I could be wrong (wouldn't be the first time).

 (There is in fact a frog on his head- you just can't see it).

I'm blaming my old dentist for all of this.  He never mentioned anything- just filled an occassional cavity, did my cleanings, life was good.  He'd come in, give me a shot, go to his office and smoke a few cigarrettes, come back, drill and fill, ask about my mom, send me on my way.  He retires and my whole dang mouth starts falling apart.  Plus- his fillings start falling out.  Shouldn't there be a warranty or something?

 My teeth are so very young- like baby teeth really.  A woman at my very young super young really not old age should have teeth like a horse, man.  And yet I am constantly under the knife drill.  Plus they always want me to bust out my checkbook and I'm just not sure if this constitutes what Dave Ramsey calls an emergency or not- but that is what is gonna have to fund some of these repairs.  I brush, I use floridated tooth enamel building anticavity toothpaste, I use mouth wash (more now than before), I don't drink sugared drinks (anymore- unless you count wine and martinis, then only occassionally I do), and I floss (now, ahem).  But apparently it's too late. 

Do frogs have teeth?  Maybe I wanna come back next time as a frog.