Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Check that off my list

Lightening doesn't strike twice- right?  I mean what are the chances that someone would ever be struck by lightening once, let alone twice?  So I can rest easy now, because I'm relatively sure I was struck by lightening yesterday morning.

Which is funny, if you think about it, since Cars 2 is released this week, and it stars Lightening McQueen.

That really isn't funny now that I think about it.

I went into work in the middle of a torrential thunderstorm yesterday morning.  Because I'm dedicated?  Because my income supports our family?  Because I'm super important and needed to be at work?  None of the above.  Because Dan is working flipping nights this week and my work schedule is all mushed up and it was the only day I could go during the actual DAY.  So I went.

I was performing ultra important tasks that the vitality of the company completely depend upon checking my email when all at once there was a super huge flash outside, the absolute loudest popping noise EVER coming from the back of the office and a sharp quick pain that traveled from my rear end, up my spine to my head- all at the same time.  And all at once I could tune in radio stations in my brain and communicate telepathically with aliens.  Just kidding.

I lept up, grabbed my purse and headed for the door.  Because dude I was getting the hell out of there!  And that's when I noticed it.  The strong smell of burning sulfur- like a match strike.  Strong.  So I made a couple calls- from my cell phone since the office was basically now powerless- and was just on the verge of giving in and calling the fire department (because what if there was a fire on the roof top, top of the world) when Dan and the kids rolled up. 

Maybe I can communicate telepathically now?

They had been to the best bakery EVER and picked me up a doughnut and were coming to surprise me.  Little did they know I had just been struck by LIGHTENING.  I made Dan come in and do all the circuit breaker fuse box stuff with the guy I had on the phone- meanwhile the kids started bickering about who got to use the computer and demanding I turn on the TV.  Lucky for them, my body must have spared 1/2 of the office when I absorbed live voltage for the sake of my children's entertainment, because that half of the trailer (yeah- I said trailer, we're high class livin' like that ya'll) still had power.  And those ungrateful little munchkins didn't even say thank you.

Struck by lightening!  I was struck by freakin' lightening children- back off and let the buzzing in my head quiet down please.  Just kidding about the buzzing, but I needed to prove a point to these ungrateful doughnut eating children.

Dan couldn't fix the power- something big must have been blown apart in the whole process.  Which meant I worked, without my computer or internet or a phone (aka I just cleaned out files and cabinets and crap- and ate my doughnut) for a while until I began to get warm (no air conditioning) and called it a day.

Looks like my days of worrying while holding an umbrella in a thunderstorm are over- I've done been struck.  Bring on the big metal poles- I'm golden now!

Plus I think I might be smarter than I was before.  Strange.

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