Dan- if you are reading this- stop and go away.

I mean it Dan- do NOT read this.

Is he gone?

Okay.

Why oh why oh why oh why oh why did I wait to buy his birthday and fathers day gifts until the last minute?????  And why on earth would a woman give birth to a boy so close to fathers day anyway?  Doesn't she know what kind of chaos that would create in my life?  I mean really, I am the woman who declares no, absolutely no, BIRTHASARY gifts for my birthday that is 4 days from our anniversary.  And yet, his birthday is ALWAYS like a day from fathers day if not ON it!

And he's impossible to buy for!

If it were me, I would buy myself a basket of flowers for my birthday and a pedicure for mothers day.  Or new pot holders for my birthday and dinner out for mothers day.  Or a soap dish.  Or a picture frame.  Or a new blanket for the bedroom.  Or a shirt.  See- easy peasy.

But Dan?  Not so much. 

I broke down on Sunday and asked for suggestions.  He asked for seat covers for 'the truck'.  Me and the truck- we no likey each other so much.  So that was kind of below the belt in the first place.  But boy Sam was THRILLED to get to shop for ANYTHING for 'the truck' so that made it better.

Until I realized that there are no basic cheap seat covers for 'that truck'.  I'd have to order a customized set- and they start around $200.  As if I am going to spend that kind of cash on 'the truck'?

So Dan mentioned that really he only is worried about a cover for the arm rest thing- maybe I can make one.  Why does he hate me so much?  I mean really?  Make one?  I'M NOT CRAFTY.  Yes- I try like heck to pretend that I am, but it NEVER ends well.  Ever.  So I did what was natural.  I went to the fabric store of course. 

After looking through bolts of fabric and totally ignoring the nasty glares from the sales associate (she could tell I had no idea what I was doing) we settled on a fabulous swim suit fabric that would no doubt stretch to be whatever shape I needed it to be and would make this so much easier.  And then Sam spotted the camo 'squishy' fabric.  And his heart screamed yes.  And I couldn't fight it.

We measured, I sewed, we'd run down the stairs and into the drive way, it wouldn't fit, I'd rip out stitches, I'd sew, we'd run down the stairs and into the drive way, it still wouldn't fit, rinse, repeat for like 4 times.

Finally, we ended up with a pillow case of sorts that kind of fits and at least that part of my life is over.

And then Sam asked when I was going to get started on the rest of the seats and their new covers.

Boy- I hate to let you down, but an upholsterer I am not.  I quit.  I am stopping.  Perhaps Daddy can lay a nice towel over the duct tape on his seat.  I quit.

Dan, I love you.  I hope you have a great weekend.  And I certainly hope I come up with a nice gift to give you for Fathers day that doesn't involve the sewing machine.

Suggestions would be appreciated.