Thursday, March 3, 2011

Blossoming Beauties and the idiots who market to them

See- I've got a little problem.  I have this child- my oldest biggest one- who when I close my eyes I see this..........

But when I open them I see this..........

And she requires clothing to cover all of that.  And probably she is going to need new apparel items sooner than later as her hips are doing 'this' and her chest is doing 'that' and basically tinkerbell no longer markets undergarments to my child.

You know who markets to my child???  Skanky pants cradle robbers.  That's who.

When I go to Target, and head to Juniors- this is what smacks me in the face!
 (the bottoms of this suit got cut off- but trust me you would gasp!)

Be still my heart.  The tops are cut low, the shorts are cut high, and there is not a single freakin' bikini that would even be an option.  I'm carefully trying to poke my eyeballs back in my face and NOT make any kind of a scene that might even draw ally's attention to anything so that we can quickly move as far away from this area as possible when ally casually asks "Do you think I'll need a new swim suit this year?"

Oh hell, she noticed the racks of swimsuits.  Which is amazing as they are so teeny tiny they would be easy to miss.  They are basically just an 1/8th yard of fabric (total) and some string.

"No" I reply- I am sure yours will still fit you.  (please- all things good and awesome in this universe- let hers still fit her).

The shorts, however, I'm sure will not.  Anyone know of a nice toga shop?

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