Insecurity Juncion

So- on Emily's team there is a little girl with this mother.  All us mothers tend to chat while the kids practice- it just is what we do.  Except this mother.

This mother happens to be one that wears Lady GaGa t-shirts, trendy sunglasses and always looks gorgeous.  And she is an assistant at the girls school.  Whom Ally loves.  But she's distant, removed, perhaps just shy?

I like to think I am a likable gal.  Probably not everyones choice for a close friend, but pleasant.  And with kids the same age- these are the women I will spend the next 12 or so years with as we cycle through our children's school years.

One day, I casually mentioned to 'this mother' (whom had never ever said boo to me or offered any pleasant chit chat) that it looked like we were going to have a light crowd for our kids games (only our two had shown up) and she- without looking at me- said 'Yeah' and then MOVED herself to the other side of the dug out.  We were the one two people there- and she MOVED.

So since then, because I am obsessed about people liking me, I have gone out of my way to smile at her.  Never once has she even looked at me.  I'm not kidding.

So a normal person might just say that this lady must be a complete B word and leave it at that.

But not me.  It is consuming me.  I cheer for her kid (in reality I cheer for them all), I smile at her, and I spend my time at the games trying to figure out how to make her like me.

Why doesn't she like me?  Probably because I'm fat I've decided.  She probably thinks that's gross.  Because the other mothers I see her being pleasant with are thin.  That's got to be it.

Next game I might hand wash her car and offer her a homemade casserole since she is such a busy gal.  Then I will compliment her on her trendiness.

Or I will accept that she is a rude prude who really shouldn't make a difference in my world at all- and then chit chat with the OTHER 7 mothers who do like me.

I'm off to do sit ups- I've got to slim down for my new 'friend'.

She will like me.