Sunday, May 2, 2010

Welcome to motherhood, let me introduce the Brawny man

Parenting is not for the weak.

You must be strong and possess skills that you didn't even know existed.  Super powers.  You need super powers.  Kindness, Gentleness, Patience, Love, Intuition, Mind Reading Skills..........and a lot of paper towels.

I left the house for two short hours to take our biggest girl child to the immediate care (just to confirm her sore throat was in fact just a sore throat- and it is) and when I returned home- a bomb had gone off in our living room.  At least, that is what I am assuming happened because that would be the only logical explanation for the disaster in our home.

And then someone peed all over the bathroom, again.  And I know it couldn't have been Sam because he was supposed to start 'using his hands' when urinating and that mess was going to stop.

So I did what any mother would do.  I hooked Sam up with some dinner, chef boyardee style, supervised Emily jumping into the tub and headed to my room to wrap up some laundry.  At least that part of the house had been spared the explosion.  Except my pillow shams are now covered in $.01 stamps- and I'm pretty sure they weren't when I left- but that is neither here nor there.  The point is that I didn't have to step around legos and mighty beans in my room.

Two seconds later, I swear just two seconds later, I reappeared in the kitchen to check on Sam and- well,  I will just say it wasn't pretty.

It involved root beer, spaghetti and a lot of paper towels. 

Good news is, Dan started a load of towels right before I came home to pretend he hadn't been playing poker on facebook the entire time I was gone while I was out and just declared that I need to start shopping for a new washing machine.

*Heavens parting, clouds descending, angels singing the hallelujah chorus*

I'm getting a new washing machine.  One that actually works- like spins out the clothes and everything.  Maybe even agitates and cleans the clothes.  But I won't hold my breath. 

I'm so totally okay with the carbonated pasta mess and the disaster in the living room now.

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