When Allyson was little, she would occasionally announce that she wanted a fancy dinner. It meant she would pick out some fancy dress, plan games, help me with the menu selection, decorate a special cake, and almost always put up decorations. I loved it then, and I love it now. Because of her, Emily and Sam will ask for a fancy dinner or party night.
Yesterday morning, Sam did just that.
Because I have been in such a craptastic funk this week, I welcomed the thought of planning a special evening for our family. Sam's only request- choo choo train shaped cakes (he knew I had a cup cake pan like that).
I made a nice dinner (chicken broccoli ziti- yum) that everyone (except emily) loved. We drank sparkling juice from wine glasses. We filled the dining room with blown up balloons. And after dinner everyone got their own bowl of frosting and as many sprinkles as they could handle to decorate their individual choo choo train cake. It was refreshing.
But why stop there I thought?
In searching for balloons, I found a few cans of silly string I bought at the dollar store a while back. What could be more fun than a silly string fight?
So as Ally, Emi and Dan relaxed in the living room, I took Sam aside and showed him my surprise- and taught him how to use it. On the count of three we busted in the living room and blasted them.
We were not greeted with the frenzy of giggling that I was envisioning. Dan was mad that Sam hit him in the face. Allyson was angry that we got silly string all over this 25 foot rope of weaving loom ties that she is concocting. Emily was just grossed out.
Until I offered them each their own can. Then they lightened up.
And it lasted for about 45 seconds or so until we had all exhausted our supply of gooey string.
And as I looked around the living room, I realized I've had better ideas.
Because it was EVERYWHERE. And it was sticky. And it was wet. And as it got to the end of the can, it no longer came out as a string, but more like confetti-sputtering and spitting sticky flecks of wet goo everywhere.
Dan and I spent like the next 1/2 hour trying to clean it up.
I don't care who you are, it was still funny. Even if my stick in the mud family didn't see the humor at first.
But based on the post-event clean up- it will never happen indoors again. Just sayin'.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
I'm tiiiiiiired
You know how when you say to your husband "I'm just soooo tired".
And he responds "Go take a nap" and thinks he's being all helpful.
And then you burst into tears, because a nap ain't gonna solve the tired that you are?
And then he looks at you all confused and asks if it is your time of the month. (As if you couldn't possibly being experiencing this for real, it must just be some female hormone thing?)
And then you deck him.
I really hope this isn't just a me thing.
I'm tired on a whole new cosmic level. I can deal with being physically tired, but this emotionally tired thing is wearing me out.
The solution- who knows. I don't know what would solve this exhaustion I am suffering with. I think it is the same exhaustion any mother has. Then why oh why oh why do I see so many other mothers not looking as bedraggled as I feel? You know the ones- hair all done, outfits all coordinated and free of spills and stains, matching earrings, chipper voice that announces all is right in their world. Oy.
I'm thinking of trying those energy drinks. By the case. You know- the ones with the neon labels and names like Jolt Your Hind End to Next Week or Hyped Up on Life.
Yeah. Like that will do the trick. Because two POTS of coffee a day apparently isn't enough.
In the mean time, I'm doing something that really will help. I've made a sign and taped it to the front window. It reads "Send Help or Vodka". Gotta go find the tape.......
And he responds "Go take a nap" and thinks he's being all helpful.
And then you burst into tears, because a nap ain't gonna solve the tired that you are?
And then he looks at you all confused and asks if it is your time of the month. (As if you couldn't possibly being experiencing this for real, it must just be some female hormone thing?)
And then you deck him.
I really hope this isn't just a me thing.
I'm tired on a whole new cosmic level. I can deal with being physically tired, but this emotionally tired thing is wearing me out.
The solution- who knows. I don't know what would solve this exhaustion I am suffering with. I think it is the same exhaustion any mother has. Then why oh why oh why do I see so many other mothers not looking as bedraggled as I feel? You know the ones- hair all done, outfits all coordinated and free of spills and stains, matching earrings, chipper voice that announces all is right in their world. Oy.
I'm thinking of trying those energy drinks. By the case. You know- the ones with the neon labels and names like Jolt Your Hind End to Next Week or Hyped Up on Life.
Yeah. Like that will do the trick. Because two POTS of coffee a day apparently isn't enough.
In the mean time, I'm doing something that really will help. I've made a sign and taped it to the front window. It reads "Send Help or Vodka". Gotta go find the tape.......
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Doin' our part.........
In an effort to try and stimulate our economy- each of us here in our household has chosen our own ways to try and contribute. We're always thinkin', what can I say.
First off- there is Sam and his numerous contributions. Not only does he daily waste items like soap and toilet paper- thus allowing us to purchase more than any household should possibly every have to, he is shown here sporting his newest way to give. It's called using an entire box of bandaids, in an hour, for one single little bitty hang nail. The kids a genious! Those things are like $4 a box, and now I will be forced to buy more. You can almost HEAR the unemployment rate falling!
Earlier this week, when I was up in the middle of the night trying to wrestle Sam's blanet away from the dog so that he would be covered and go back.to.sleep.for.the.love.of.all.things.good, I made a pit stop by the bathroom. In the complete darkness, I managed to step into a huge pile of cold gooey something on the rug. Turns out it was toothpaste. Two for one- way to make good use of your time boy! Not only wasting obscene amounts of expensive kiddy flavored toothpaste that we will now need to- get this- buy MORE of, but double score for making me have to wash the rug in the process, which also uses energy and laundry soap. Breathtaking plan of action Sam!
And yesterday I noticed that his new pants, the ones he's only been wearing for like a month, are now too short. Again. And his shoes, getting tight. So we will be in the market for new pants and shoes, apparantly. I'm not sure how he pulled yet another unbelievable growth spurt off, but this is sure to dump some greenbacks into our country!
Check out this bag of batteries for recycling! Apparently every toy we own has needed it's batteries replaced in the past couple of months- we Goble's are givers, I tell ya. You are welcome Energizer, Duracell and makers of the Kirkland's Best variety. Enjoy your quarterly bonuses!
This Allyson- boy she may not look like a political junkie- but she is all about saving our world by means of the economy. In fact, despite her previous stance that being girly was gross- she is now suckin' up crazy amounts of girl products like lip gloss and eye shadow (that can only be worn IN the house mind you). And now, with some occassional acne flairing up, she has determined that it is time to begin purchasing Oxi pads and the sort. Then this morning, she declares a need for hair products- to smooth and tame. Well- the health and beauty industry is sure to see the boom!
Emily- she personally made two sacrifices this week. The first was allowing her brother to blatently throw her birthday gift (a handmade playdough heart) from Allyson onto the floor- thus shattering it (and her heart) into 1000 pieces. This simple act was a stimulus buy making her sister use yet more playdough and beads to construct another one. Way to go Emi!
The second was loosing her second tooth. This resulted in a visit from the old tooth fairy. We could not get out the door fast enough to tear through the doors of the old red bullseye the next morning and spend that fabulous fairy fortune!
You may be wondering what I'm doing- since our kids are being so proactive an all. Heck, I'm a team player, count me in.
My focus is more on the medical industry. I had that whole mamogram thing last week- that should cost a small fortune thus priming the old pump of the hospital (more jobs for doctors, nurses, gauze pads, it never ends) but I got a bonus visit to the doctor Friday for a throat that was swelling shut. That was a doctor visit PLUS a prescription. I just keep on giving, don't I. But now for the real kicker- I scheduled my root canal. Which apparently doesn't end with JUST the root canal, but will also include a permanent crown. Bonus! Both cost roughly $1000, each! I couldn't have planned a more expensive way to give if I had tried. You're welcome dental industry, hope it helps!
This solving the nations economical problems is exhausting, but so rewarding.
First off- there is Sam and his numerous contributions. Not only does he daily waste items like soap and toilet paper- thus allowing us to purchase more than any household should possibly every have to, he is shown here sporting his newest way to give. It's called using an entire box of bandaids, in an hour, for one single little bitty hang nail. The kids a genious! Those things are like $4 a box, and now I will be forced to buy more. You can almost HEAR the unemployment rate falling!
Earlier this week, when I was up in the middle of the night trying to wrestle Sam's blanet away from the dog so that he would be covered and go back.to.sleep.for.the.love.of.all.things.good, I made a pit stop by the bathroom. In the complete darkness, I managed to step into a huge pile of cold gooey something on the rug. Turns out it was toothpaste. Two for one- way to make good use of your time boy! Not only wasting obscene amounts of expensive kiddy flavored toothpaste that we will now need to- get this- buy MORE of, but double score for making me have to wash the rug in the process, which also uses energy and laundry soap. Breathtaking plan of action Sam!
And yesterday I noticed that his new pants, the ones he's only been wearing for like a month, are now too short. Again. And his shoes, getting tight. So we will be in the market for new pants and shoes, apparantly. I'm not sure how he pulled yet another unbelievable growth spurt off, but this is sure to dump some greenbacks into our country!
Check out this bag of batteries for recycling! Apparently every toy we own has needed it's batteries replaced in the past couple of months- we Goble's are givers, I tell ya. You are welcome Energizer, Duracell and makers of the Kirkland's Best variety. Enjoy your quarterly bonuses!
This Allyson- boy she may not look like a political junkie- but she is all about saving our world by means of the economy. In fact, despite her previous stance that being girly was gross- she is now suckin' up crazy amounts of girl products like lip gloss and eye shadow (that can only be worn IN the house mind you). And now, with some occassional acne flairing up, she has determined that it is time to begin purchasing Oxi pads and the sort. Then this morning, she declares a need for hair products- to smooth and tame. Well- the health and beauty industry is sure to see the boom!
Emily- she personally made two sacrifices this week. The first was allowing her brother to blatently throw her birthday gift (a handmade playdough heart) from Allyson onto the floor- thus shattering it (and her heart) into 1000 pieces. This simple act was a stimulus buy making her sister use yet more playdough and beads to construct another one. Way to go Emi!
The second was loosing her second tooth. This resulted in a visit from the old tooth fairy. We could not get out the door fast enough to tear through the doors of the old red bullseye the next morning and spend that fabulous fairy fortune!
You may be wondering what I'm doing- since our kids are being so proactive an all. Heck, I'm a team player, count me in.
My focus is more on the medical industry. I had that whole mamogram thing last week- that should cost a small fortune thus priming the old pump of the hospital (more jobs for doctors, nurses, gauze pads, it never ends) but I got a bonus visit to the doctor Friday for a throat that was swelling shut. That was a doctor visit PLUS a prescription. I just keep on giving, don't I. But now for the real kicker- I scheduled my root canal. Which apparently doesn't end with JUST the root canal, but will also include a permanent crown. Bonus! Both cost roughly $1000, each! I couldn't have planned a more expensive way to give if I had tried. You're welcome dental industry, hope it helps!
This solving the nations economical problems is exhausting, but so rewarding.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Forget the Colts- It's basketball time!
Sorry for the foul language- but really, being the sports minded soul that I am not, my focus right now is strictly on the girls and their new basketball season. Games officially began this past Saturday and will be consuming our lives, uh, I mean occupying our weekends for the next couple of months or so. So here are entirely too many pictures of their first games...........
For the kids, the games are all about the snack bar and how much money they can get me to spend in the amount of an hour.
I love that the program is biblically based and includes tons of prayer and devotions!
Interestingly enough, immediately after their games Emily declares she would rather play basketball and Allyson announced she doesn't want to play at all anymore. I swear to you, this parenting thing is a lose lose. I actually managed to get them both signed up, even if I did miss the registration, paid the small mortgage payment for participation, have committed us to hours of practices and games- and it's all for NOTHIN'! Don't be mistaken- they will finish the season despite their desires not to (apparently), but dag gone!
On another note- I am crazily snapping picture after picture at their games because Dan was working and had to miss it. Another mother approaches me with a camera that looks surprisingly like mine. Turns out, it was like mine. She began asking me all kinds of technical mumbo jumbo camera stuff- to which I simply gave her my confused crazed mother face, you know, my normal face. I realize what a nice camera Dan purchased for us (thanks to Ronda and her crazy photography need to upgrade)- but really- it's all above me. I'm not a professional photographer after all, I just play one at basketball games! It was just funny to me. What was even funnier was her strange look when I said I basically use it like a point and shoot. She just slowly.backed.away.
For the kids, the games are all about the snack bar and how much money they can get me to spend in the amount of an hour.
I love that the program is biblically based and includes tons of prayer and devotions!
Interestingly enough, immediately after their games Emily declares she would rather play basketball and Allyson announced she doesn't want to play at all anymore. I swear to you, this parenting thing is a lose lose. I actually managed to get them both signed up, even if I did miss the registration, paid the small mortgage payment for participation, have committed us to hours of practices and games- and it's all for NOTHIN'! Don't be mistaken- they will finish the season despite their desires not to (apparently), but dag gone!
On another note- I am crazily snapping picture after picture at their games because Dan was working and had to miss it. Another mother approaches me with a camera that looks surprisingly like mine. Turns out, it was like mine. She began asking me all kinds of technical mumbo jumbo camera stuff- to which I simply gave her my confused crazed mother face, you know, my normal face. I realize what a nice camera Dan purchased for us (thanks to Ronda and her crazy photography need to upgrade)- but really- it's all above me. I'm not a professional photographer after all, I just play one at basketball games! It was just funny to me. What was even funnier was her strange look when I said I basically use it like a point and shoot. She just slowly.backed.away.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Blech!
It can't all be rainbows and butterflies (to steal a phrase) people!
I read a lot of blogs. A LOT of blogs. It makes me somehow feel connected to other mothers who are being held hostage by small people. Until right now that is. (Not you Ronda- I still LOVE your blog. This is about the other people, you know, strangers that I stalk, well, read about).
I'm tired of reading about what a wonderful mother you are, how you homemake bread and other wonderful foods, and how super great your kids are. How fulfilled you are and how wonderful life is- all the time. Come on, really? I mean, do you not ever make pizza rolls for dinner or find your kids scrubbing the floor with a bar of soap (which is extremely difficult to clean up- I might add)?
I don't mean to burst anyones bubbles, but this grown up thing is hard. And for close to a week now, I've been a tad more than cranky. Add in the fact that I thought I was dying of breast cancer and my child was attacked by a wild beast- not to mention the family gathering that required me to give more attention to my home than I wanted to- and I am wiped.
The idea that I have to cook dinner every night for the rest of my life, and that the majority of the people who join me at my dinner table will be complaining about said food, is overwhelming today. And until they arrive at the table, they will be fighting and bickering as I try to 'mother' them from the kitchen while preparing plates- well that too is a bit much, today. Perhaps tomorrow I will be all 'oh joy- time to nourish my family'- but not right now. Right now, I am a cranky woman teetering on the edge. The edge of curling up in my bed and ignoring the constant demand for chocolate milk, pony tails, the buttoning of pants, wiping urine from the toilet seat and lunch preparation.
I know- I'm supposed to be a Proverbs 31 woman and take great joy and pride in my work in my home. And some days I do. Not today- get over it.
Monday's suck in my world. Dan is off Sunday and Monday, so I try and work the majority of my 12 hours a week on Monday's- since I can do it sans-children. So I miss their whole day. Last night, I ran home from work- didn't get to even sit down- sacked up all three kids to take them to basketball practice. I thought Dan would enjoy a break, and it would give me time to be with them in the car as well as play with Sam while the girls did their thing. We were gone for two hours. When we got home, I asked Dan if he enjoyed the small break. His response? 'Not much of a break really'. Really???? Really???? Two hours alone- even if cooking dinner- is a break. It is. I liked the time with the kids- besides the almost crashing thing and the constant bickering. So it is fine. But seriously? Someone is always, always, always talking to me. And, because I am not male apparently, I don't block them out or ignore them. I listen, and respond. All.the.time. Occassionally, it would be off the chart amazing to get just a while to have some quiet. So I could possibly, you know, think. Crazy, I hear ya.
I'm forgetting things. Themed days at schools, the letter of the week, reading slips, lessons, paying bills, all of it. And I think it is because I never get any time to just think, plan or prepare. I can hear you, you're saying that it must have taken some time to sit and type out this nonsense- more time than you know considering I have stopped 24 times to change channels, pour drinks, wipe small bottoms, rescue guinea pigs, etc. But this is the reason I keep a blog- somehow it makes me feel connected just by dumping all this 'stuff' out there and getting it off my mind.
Disclaimer- I love my kids (LOVE my kids-they really are my purpose for being in this nutty world), my husband, our home, the snow, and welch's fruit snacks. So don't think I'm about to pack my bags and hit the road- I'm more like about to grab a bottle and head for the closet- that's all. Perhaps I'll throw a sheet of pizza coupons on the counter first so that they can nourish themselves. If one can really be 'nourished' by pizza that is.
In other news- I finished crocheting a hat for Sam (his request).
It will come in real handy should he develope a sudden cone head- it's like a scarf and a hat all in one!
There must be something out there I am good at : ) But I don't think housewife or crocheter are it.
I read a lot of blogs. A LOT of blogs. It makes me somehow feel connected to other mothers who are being held hostage by small people. Until right now that is. (Not you Ronda- I still LOVE your blog. This is about the other people, you know, strangers that I stalk, well, read about).
I'm tired of reading about what a wonderful mother you are, how you homemake bread and other wonderful foods, and how super great your kids are. How fulfilled you are and how wonderful life is- all the time. Come on, really? I mean, do you not ever make pizza rolls for dinner or find your kids scrubbing the floor with a bar of soap (which is extremely difficult to clean up- I might add)?
I don't mean to burst anyones bubbles, but this grown up thing is hard. And for close to a week now, I've been a tad more than cranky. Add in the fact that I thought I was dying of breast cancer and my child was attacked by a wild beast- not to mention the family gathering that required me to give more attention to my home than I wanted to- and I am wiped.
The idea that I have to cook dinner every night for the rest of my life, and that the majority of the people who join me at my dinner table will be complaining about said food, is overwhelming today. And until they arrive at the table, they will be fighting and bickering as I try to 'mother' them from the kitchen while preparing plates- well that too is a bit much, today. Perhaps tomorrow I will be all 'oh joy- time to nourish my family'- but not right now. Right now, I am a cranky woman teetering on the edge. The edge of curling up in my bed and ignoring the constant demand for chocolate milk, pony tails, the buttoning of pants, wiping urine from the toilet seat and lunch preparation.
I know- I'm supposed to be a Proverbs 31 woman and take great joy and pride in my work in my home. And some days I do. Not today- get over it.
Monday's suck in my world. Dan is off Sunday and Monday, so I try and work the majority of my 12 hours a week on Monday's- since I can do it sans-children. So I miss their whole day. Last night, I ran home from work- didn't get to even sit down- sacked up all three kids to take them to basketball practice. I thought Dan would enjoy a break, and it would give me time to be with them in the car as well as play with Sam while the girls did their thing. We were gone for two hours. When we got home, I asked Dan if he enjoyed the small break. His response? 'Not much of a break really'. Really???? Really???? Two hours alone- even if cooking dinner- is a break. It is. I liked the time with the kids- besides the almost crashing thing and the constant bickering. So it is fine. But seriously? Someone is always, always, always talking to me. And, because I am not male apparently, I don't block them out or ignore them. I listen, and respond. All.the.time. Occassionally, it would be off the chart amazing to get just a while to have some quiet. So I could possibly, you know, think. Crazy, I hear ya.
I'm forgetting things. Themed days at schools, the letter of the week, reading slips, lessons, paying bills, all of it. And I think it is because I never get any time to just think, plan or prepare. I can hear you, you're saying that it must have taken some time to sit and type out this nonsense- more time than you know considering I have stopped 24 times to change channels, pour drinks, wipe small bottoms, rescue guinea pigs, etc. But this is the reason I keep a blog- somehow it makes me feel connected just by dumping all this 'stuff' out there and getting it off my mind.
Disclaimer- I love my kids (LOVE my kids-they really are my purpose for being in this nutty world), my husband, our home, the snow, and welch's fruit snacks. So don't think I'm about to pack my bags and hit the road- I'm more like about to grab a bottle and head for the closet- that's all. Perhaps I'll throw a sheet of pizza coupons on the counter first so that they can nourish themselves. If one can really be 'nourished' by pizza that is.
In other news- I finished crocheting a hat for Sam (his request).
It will come in real handy should he develope a sudden cone head- it's like a scarf and a hat all in one!
There must be something out there I am good at : ) But I don't think housewife or crocheter are it.
Friday, January 22, 2010
When animals attack...........
Days are like a box of chocolates- you never know what you're going to get.
And at 9pm last night, when I was quickly trying to change the guinea pig cages before bed- I had no idea what we were about to embark upon. Neither did Emi.
While trying to get Giblet out of his cage, he turned grumpy and bit her arm. Only he didn't just bit her, he clamped onto her wrist and started thrashing around the cage until she eventually pulled her arm out- with him still attached. So instead of an 'innocent' bite mark on her arm- he managed to rip a gash out of her wrist about an inch and a half long and a 1/2 inch wide or so.
It was AWEFUL. She was screaming, I was screaming, Allyson was screaming. We were real collected, let me tell you.
3 hours later we were leaving the emergency room, me with frayed nerves and Emily with 4 brand spankin' new stitches.
As she climbed into bed last night, she pressed her face to Giblets cage and with tears streaming down her cheeks, professed her love to him.
I personally am petrified of the wild beast now.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Everything you ever wanted to know about my ta tas- and some you didn't..........
So- over the weekend I found a lump in my breast. My mind ran to some pretty dark places over the next few days.
A trip to the doctor Monday confirmed there was, in fact, a lump. But thankfully my doctor has psychic fingers and after a while of feeling me up- she concluded that it was nothing to worry about. But it would buy me my first round trip ticket to- you guessed it- a mamogram.
This meant two things. I would need to find my 'nice' bra and shave my legs. Just in case, you know, I had to get nakie from the waist down for whatever reason. Uhg- this girl thing is tough!
Today was my lucky day. I fully planned to take my camera so that I could walk those of you who have not yet experienced the squisher an inside look. I obviously wouldn't have taken pictures of my actual boobage- just the machines and fancy gowns and such. You know, because I'm cool like that. But, in my scurry to make it to the appointment on time, I forgot my camera. You're welcome.
First and foremost- when you go to one of 'those' offices, expect everyone else in the waiting room to be older. I felt like a spring chicken, all in my 35ishness. Back to the story.........
Next I was asked if I was wearing deodorant. Apparently you don't wear deodorant to these places. But before figuring that out, I wondered if I was stinkin'. Thank goodness all she meant was that I would need a warmed wet clothe to wipe it off.
I was given a fancy little gowny shirt thing that wrapped around the front and tied. At least, I assume that is what it would have done on someone who is not, well, as endowed as I am. I got to sit in the waiting area holding it shut with my hands.
Speaking of the waiting area- a non stop loop DVD of breast cancery stuff. NOT what I wanted to be thinking about- I changed the channel (oh yes I did). Perhaps if I wasn't there with a lump for investigation it wouldn't have bothered me- but today, it made me cry. So off it went.
I have always heard about how much a mamogram 'hurts'. I don't think it hurt. Except the corner of the machine where the tech kept saying 'lean in to the edge'. Other than that- not much physical pain (imagine a blood pressure cuff wrapped around your boob- only flattened- no wait, don't imagine that). What was hurt was my self esteem. As I allowed a perfect stranger to man handle my breast while saying things like 'relax your shoulders' and 'keep your arm on the ledge'. I'm just grateful she wasn't the barbie that was assigned to do my ultrasound. It was quite humilitating.
I did in fact get tiny stickers with little metal balls stuck on my nipples. NIIIIIICCCCEEEEE. Kind of like a pastey- only much more clinical. I am considering them my prize, you know like when you go to the dentist and you get a free toothbrush.
Anyway- back to the girls. Obviously, she smashed them one at a time. First straight up and down. I just laid it on a little table thing and she mushed down this plastic plate thing. It was see through. Gross.
Then she did this fancy cocked thing, kind of at an angle. That was the unconfortable one as I tried to get 'myself' in there and hold on and lean and 'relax your shoulders, honey'.
And, I think just because I am larger than your average bear, I got to have a fancy shot with both on there at one time- the cleavage shot she called it. Whatever. More bang for my buck!
I found it funny that when she would get the plastic thing all pressed down and my breast was now looking like a large serving platter she would say 'don't move'. Uh, okay. Not like that was humanly possible at that point or anything.
I will choose this point to ask why there is not a sirogram machine? You know- that our hubbies would plop their pride and joy onto and let a vice mash it flat and then pump radiation into it? Just wondering.
So then barbie took me for an ultrasound to get more looks at my lumps. There is nothing like having an ultrasound done when the only ones you've ever had were when you were pregnant. No heartbeat, no little fingers, no organ counting. Nothing. Not a word. Nodda.
Barbie took my stuff to the doctor for review and came back to tell me that my lumps- I felt 1, could see 2 during the ultrasound, apparently there are 3, are cycsts and nothing to worry about. But, since I have them, I get to come back in 6 months.
Yeah me. Yeah me because I don't have to travel to the scary places I was trying to invision as part of our life, and Yeah me because I get to humiliate myself in front of complete strangers again in half a year.
So- mamogram in a nut shell:
No deodorant
Don't waste your time shaving your legs
Go ahead and think of some chit chat ahead of time to have with the tech who does your test, because trust me when the tech is wrestling around with your boobs in that little room your mind will go completely blank
It doesn't hurt- but leave your pride and self respect at home
It is important- so get one
Practice ahead of time by trying to shut your breast in the refrigerator door
Thank you God for not asking me to handle this right now.
A trip to the doctor Monday confirmed there was, in fact, a lump. But thankfully my doctor has psychic fingers and after a while of feeling me up- she concluded that it was nothing to worry about. But it would buy me my first round trip ticket to- you guessed it- a mamogram.
This meant two things. I would need to find my 'nice' bra and shave my legs. Just in case, you know, I had to get nakie from the waist down for whatever reason. Uhg- this girl thing is tough!
Today was my lucky day. I fully planned to take my camera so that I could walk those of you who have not yet experienced the squisher an inside look. I obviously wouldn't have taken pictures of my actual boobage- just the machines and fancy gowns and such. You know, because I'm cool like that. But, in my scurry to make it to the appointment on time, I forgot my camera. You're welcome.
First and foremost- when you go to one of 'those' offices, expect everyone else in the waiting room to be older. I felt like a spring chicken, all in my 35ishness. Back to the story.........
Next I was asked if I was wearing deodorant. Apparently you don't wear deodorant to these places. But before figuring that out, I wondered if I was stinkin'. Thank goodness all she meant was that I would need a warmed wet clothe to wipe it off.
I was given a fancy little gowny shirt thing that wrapped around the front and tied. At least, I assume that is what it would have done on someone who is not, well, as endowed as I am. I got to sit in the waiting area holding it shut with my hands.
Speaking of the waiting area- a non stop loop DVD of breast cancery stuff. NOT what I wanted to be thinking about- I changed the channel (oh yes I did). Perhaps if I wasn't there with a lump for investigation it wouldn't have bothered me- but today, it made me cry. So off it went.
I have always heard about how much a mamogram 'hurts'. I don't think it hurt. Except the corner of the machine where the tech kept saying 'lean in to the edge'. Other than that- not much physical pain (imagine a blood pressure cuff wrapped around your boob- only flattened- no wait, don't imagine that). What was hurt was my self esteem. As I allowed a perfect stranger to man handle my breast while saying things like 'relax your shoulders' and 'keep your arm on the ledge'. I'm just grateful she wasn't the barbie that was assigned to do my ultrasound. It was quite humilitating.
I did in fact get tiny stickers with little metal balls stuck on my nipples. NIIIIIICCCCEEEEE. Kind of like a pastey- only much more clinical. I am considering them my prize, you know like when you go to the dentist and you get a free toothbrush.
Anyway- back to the girls. Obviously, she smashed them one at a time. First straight up and down. I just laid it on a little table thing and she mushed down this plastic plate thing. It was see through. Gross.
Then she did this fancy cocked thing, kind of at an angle. That was the unconfortable one as I tried to get 'myself' in there and hold on and lean and 'relax your shoulders, honey'.
And, I think just because I am larger than your average bear, I got to have a fancy shot with both on there at one time- the cleavage shot she called it. Whatever. More bang for my buck!
I found it funny that when she would get the plastic thing all pressed down and my breast was now looking like a large serving platter she would say 'don't move'. Uh, okay. Not like that was humanly possible at that point or anything.
I will choose this point to ask why there is not a sirogram machine? You know- that our hubbies would plop their pride and joy onto and let a vice mash it flat and then pump radiation into it? Just wondering.
So then barbie took me for an ultrasound to get more looks at my lumps. There is nothing like having an ultrasound done when the only ones you've ever had were when you were pregnant. No heartbeat, no little fingers, no organ counting. Nothing. Not a word. Nodda.
Barbie took my stuff to the doctor for review and came back to tell me that my lumps- I felt 1, could see 2 during the ultrasound, apparently there are 3, are cycsts and nothing to worry about. But, since I have them, I get to come back in 6 months.
Yeah me. Yeah me because I don't have to travel to the scary places I was trying to invision as part of our life, and Yeah me because I get to humiliate myself in front of complete strangers again in half a year.
So- mamogram in a nut shell:
No deodorant
Don't waste your time shaving your legs
Go ahead and think of some chit chat ahead of time to have with the tech who does your test, because trust me when the tech is wrestling around with your boobs in that little room your mind will go completely blank
It doesn't hurt- but leave your pride and self respect at home
It is important- so get one
Practice ahead of time by trying to shut your breast in the refrigerator door
Thank you God for not asking me to handle this right now.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Have I got a deal for you..........
If you want a good laugh, ask a child (one that can't yet read) to go through one of the packs of coupons that you get in the mail.
Emily and Sam spent a good long while sorting and looking through ours this week.
This one, Sam decided, was a coupon for hot wheels:
I think it is because of the flame looking thing at the top.
This one stumped Emily for a while- then she asked. I explained it was for a handyman service, for people to come help fix things in your house........
"Ohhhhh, you better hang onto that one" she replied
They went through several, many they picked out such as car washes and restaurants.
Then Emily gave me the strangest look and asked what this one could possibly be for:
Yeah- sex sells- unless your 6 that is.
She even found a coupon for me............
Nah- no need to save that one : )
Emily and Sam spent a good long while sorting and looking through ours this week.
This one, Sam decided, was a coupon for hot wheels:
I think it is because of the flame looking thing at the top.
This one stumped Emily for a while- then she asked. I explained it was for a handyman service, for people to come help fix things in your house........
"Ohhhhh, you better hang onto that one" she replied
They went through several, many they picked out such as car washes and restaurants.
Then Emily gave me the strangest look and asked what this one could possibly be for:
Yeah- sex sells- unless your 6 that is.
She even found a coupon for me............
Nah- no need to save that one : )
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Move over bacon..........
There is a new sheriff in town- and it is my new found shoes! As mentioned, Rebecca gifted me all of her too-big-now shoes. And I am in heaven. The new loves of my life needed a home- which means only one thing: clean out the closet.
Interestingly enough, I got a post card from the DAV and they are going to swing by Thursday to pick up whatever we don't want anymore. Bingo.
My first thought- sack up all the dirty laundry in the house and throw it on the porch! Then I could scratch that off my list too. But after much consideration, that turned out to be a fairly bad choice, so I thought better of it. Looks like I'll have to wash it afterall.
Then I turned to our closet. Ick. After too many minutes of simply moving things back to their proper place in my children's closets- I got down to business.
Any clothes with DUST on them, are obviously not being used and can go.
Anything that physically won't fit us (with a few exceptions of course) can go.
Anything that shows obvious wear, put in the trash.
The fact that I actually washed, folded and put these away just goes to show I am tooooo tired. $10 says my husband will try to justify keeping them. I'm not joking.
Back to business. Anything of my husbands that is tacky and yucky, gone.
Anything that has been piled up waiting on mending- relocated to a new pile.
Here is the pile I am hoping to remember to put on the porch for DAV- that is if I can keep my husband from putting back into the closet (he's baaaaad about letting things go-perhaps you will notice the cowboy boots and golfing shoes in the pictures? point made)
I rearranged for a bit- and voila- created room for all my new shoes!
Did you think I was joking??? Rebecca had more shoes that didn't fit anymore than I have owned in years. I love shoes- but I love groceries too so I haven't put a bunch of money into footwear for a while. And now........I won't have to for a long time to come either!
Dan is going to come home and feel all violated, I just know it. But- I will justify taking almost the entire top shelf of the closet for shoes by his entire shelf of hats-
Yeah- some real beauties in there, I tell ya.
While sorting and straightening- I found the box that contains this:
This is a strand of pearls that Dan bought for me a few years ago. I'd never mentioned that I would LOVE to have a real strand of pearls, but I guess he knew. They are special to me, because he picked them out just for me. This is the strand of pearls that I expect my girls to someday bicker of who will get. Not because they are some fine, rare piece of jewelry. But because they are special to me, and they are the ones I wear to funerals and weddings and store in the special velvet package inside of the box in my closet.
So- it took me less than an hour to create two bags of stuff to get rid of, clear the pile of shoes off my bedroom floor, and make an entire pile of clothes to mend. During that time- my children ran amok and have created an entire days worth of mess to clean up. I will spare you the photos. Just trust me.
I'm off to hide in my closet.
Interestingly enough, I got a post card from the DAV and they are going to swing by Thursday to pick up whatever we don't want anymore. Bingo.
My first thought- sack up all the dirty laundry in the house and throw it on the porch! Then I could scratch that off my list too. But after much consideration, that turned out to be a fairly bad choice, so I thought better of it. Looks like I'll have to wash it afterall.
Then I turned to our closet. Ick. After too many minutes of simply moving things back to their proper place in my children's closets- I got down to business.
Any clothes with DUST on them, are obviously not being used and can go.
Anything that physically won't fit us (with a few exceptions of course) can go.
Anything that shows obvious wear, put in the trash.
The fact that I actually washed, folded and put these away just goes to show I am tooooo tired. $10 says my husband will try to justify keeping them. I'm not joking.
Back to business. Anything of my husbands that is tacky and yucky, gone.
Anything that has been piled up waiting on mending- relocated to a new pile.
Here is the pile I am hoping to remember to put on the porch for DAV- that is if I can keep my husband from putting back into the closet (he's baaaaad about letting things go-perhaps you will notice the cowboy boots and golfing shoes in the pictures? point made)
I rearranged for a bit- and voila- created room for all my new shoes!
Did you think I was joking??? Rebecca had more shoes that didn't fit anymore than I have owned in years. I love shoes- but I love groceries too so I haven't put a bunch of money into footwear for a while. And now........I won't have to for a long time to come either!
Dan is going to come home and feel all violated, I just know it. But- I will justify taking almost the entire top shelf of the closet for shoes by his entire shelf of hats-
Yeah- some real beauties in there, I tell ya.
While sorting and straightening- I found the box that contains this:
This is a strand of pearls that Dan bought for me a few years ago. I'd never mentioned that I would LOVE to have a real strand of pearls, but I guess he knew. They are special to me, because he picked them out just for me. This is the strand of pearls that I expect my girls to someday bicker of who will get. Not because they are some fine, rare piece of jewelry. But because they are special to me, and they are the ones I wear to funerals and weddings and store in the special velvet package inside of the box in my closet.
So- it took me less than an hour to create two bags of stuff to get rid of, clear the pile of shoes off my bedroom floor, and make an entire pile of clothes to mend. During that time- my children ran amok and have created an entire days worth of mess to clean up. I will spare you the photos. Just trust me.
I'm off to hide in my closet.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Why do they get an opinion?
Ally stumbled into the living room over the weekend and noticed a new pair of boots. "Whose are those????" she asked.
Mine of course. Thank goodness Miss Rebecca's loosing weight by the bucket and in turn her feet have shrunk and she gifted me some fabulous new hoofers!
"Those are too cool for you mom".
Yeah. Too cool for me I suppose. But mine none the less- and today I stumbled around helplessly in them. But eventually I found my balance and I felt all trendy and cool.
Please note- I had to take these pictures strategically in order not to show how incredible dirty my floor is. THAT is why I am cool.
Mine of course. Thank goodness Miss Rebecca's loosing weight by the bucket and in turn her feet have shrunk and she gifted me some fabulous new hoofers!
"Those are too cool for you mom".
Yeah. Too cool for me I suppose. But mine none the less- and today I stumbled around helplessly in them. But eventually I found my balance and I felt all trendy and cool.
Please note- I had to take these pictures strategically in order not to show how incredible dirty my floor is. THAT is why I am cool.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Dear Emily,
When I was pregnant with you, the question often came up as to if I wanted a boy or a girl. The answer was always that I didn't care, I just knew that I wanted you. In my heart I think I knew all along that you were, in fact, a girl.
Your dad and I couldn't decide on a girl name. I brought up Emily a few times- Dad was not a fan so he pushed it out of my mind. Until one night, while pregnant with you, I awoke from a dream and just knew your name had to be Emily. I woke up your dad and asked again, and this time he said yes. And from the minute you entered this world, we both knew that you were an Emily.
You are such an incredible person- very gentle and loving and joyful. I so am amazed in watching you grow and learn and develop. I am blessed to be your mom, I knew that from the moment I found out you were in my belly.
There is not a moment, not a single moment that I can imagine my world had you not joined our family.
And I am so very thankful that you chose me to be your mom. It is my hope that as we continue down this path of life, that you will grow into the fine young woman that God has designed you to be- and that you will consider me not only your mom, but a friend.
Happy 6th Birthday my sweet sweet Emma. I love you, more than you could ever know.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Mindless Chex Mix Pot Potpourri
What a busy week. Busy about nothing- but busy none the less. I don't know where our time goes, but it does seem to go. So- I will now proceed to bore you to death with details of our week.
Emily and Allyson have began the Upwards basketball program. Emily is (obviously) a cheer leader and Ally is playing basketball. Miraculously enough, their practices are on the same night at the same time (thankyouverymuch) which works out perfectly! Games are a different story- let's just say Saturdays are gonna be kind of busy for the next two months. You know- I am a strict 'you can only participate in one activity at a time' kind of mother. I hate for the kids to get overextended or too busy- not to mention the stress it puts on the family when there are too many places to run to all the time. So, being the 'strict' mother I am- their one activity is the basketball thing. Plus girlscouts for both. Plus piano lessons for ally. Plus a club at school for emily. Plus a new choir thing for ally through school. Plus church activities. Yeah, I suck at this don't I. But look, they are not in swimming lessons, ballet or gymnastics. I think that counts for something.
Allyson won a reward by getting all of her reading goals met for the first semester. I say won loosely, as the 'prize' is a certificate to the golden corral. The golden corral. Let's just say I would rather cook dinner over a candle flame than eat there. And yet, yipee, we won! Maybe Dan can take her for her reward- they both LOVE it there. And what's not to love, 18 kinds of potatoes, greasy fried everything, and total and complete strangers picking over it all. Yum.
As previously mentioned, Sam got the birthday snack bucket this week. His pick? Sugar Cookies. When making the cookies with him, it became blaringly apparent that he is a sibling of all older sisters. His choices for cookie cutters? A star, a heart or a flower. And, interestingly enough, we mixed red sprinkles in with the mix which did in fact turn them pink (oops). So this proud little 4 year old took pink flower cookies for his birthday treat. Uhg.
I did manage to take down the decorations this week. With the exception of the wreath in the middle of the dining room table- I always forget something. Eventually I will drag it upstairs and put it away too. But before we took the tree down, I experimented with the coolest pair of glasses that one of Ally's sunday school teachers gave her. Look at this picture, it turns all the lights into tiny snowmen. I LOVE these glasses. And how cool that it worked when I put it over the lens of my camera. Did I mention how busy I'd been this week? Not to busy to screw around with the kids toys I suppose : )
I have in fact completed two more scarves. And look- they are straight! I even striped the one. Yeah- I'm the crocheting godess now. As long as what you desire is square or rectangle, that is. We are going to have THE warmest necks in town! Sam requested mittens- I laughed (out loud) at him. Mittens, hah!
Because Monday was especially hairy, I declared it Sundae Monday and made brownie sundaes right before bedtime. Anything covered in hot chocolate sauce makes a bad day better. And I make some really good brownies, mind you. I have my own recipe- very secret special recipe. I was going to type it here for you, but then figured what they heck- I'd just snap a picture of the box and you can buy your own. The recipe is printed right on the box. I'm such a chef.
And today- well today is Meat Madness Sale day at Marsh! I REALLY need to get a hobby, but for now this is the stuff that makes my heart go pitter pat. Stocking up on ground beef and chicken breasts. Who knew it would come to this? Hope you have a happy Meat Maddness Sale day!
Emily and Allyson have began the Upwards basketball program. Emily is (obviously) a cheer leader and Ally is playing basketball. Miraculously enough, their practices are on the same night at the same time (thankyouverymuch) which works out perfectly! Games are a different story- let's just say Saturdays are gonna be kind of busy for the next two months. You know- I am a strict 'you can only participate in one activity at a time' kind of mother. I hate for the kids to get overextended or too busy- not to mention the stress it puts on the family when there are too many places to run to all the time. So, being the 'strict' mother I am- their one activity is the basketball thing. Plus girlscouts for both. Plus piano lessons for ally. Plus a club at school for emily. Plus a new choir thing for ally through school. Plus church activities. Yeah, I suck at this don't I. But look, they are not in swimming lessons, ballet or gymnastics. I think that counts for something.
Allyson won a reward by getting all of her reading goals met for the first semester. I say won loosely, as the 'prize' is a certificate to the golden corral. The golden corral. Let's just say I would rather cook dinner over a candle flame than eat there. And yet, yipee, we won! Maybe Dan can take her for her reward- they both LOVE it there. And what's not to love, 18 kinds of potatoes, greasy fried everything, and total and complete strangers picking over it all. Yum.
As previously mentioned, Sam got the birthday snack bucket this week. His pick? Sugar Cookies. When making the cookies with him, it became blaringly apparent that he is a sibling of all older sisters. His choices for cookie cutters? A star, a heart or a flower. And, interestingly enough, we mixed red sprinkles in with the mix which did in fact turn them pink (oops). So this proud little 4 year old took pink flower cookies for his birthday treat. Uhg.
I did manage to take down the decorations this week. With the exception of the wreath in the middle of the dining room table- I always forget something. Eventually I will drag it upstairs and put it away too. But before we took the tree down, I experimented with the coolest pair of glasses that one of Ally's sunday school teachers gave her. Look at this picture, it turns all the lights into tiny snowmen. I LOVE these glasses. And how cool that it worked when I put it over the lens of my camera. Did I mention how busy I'd been this week? Not to busy to screw around with the kids toys I suppose : )
I have in fact completed two more scarves. And look- they are straight! I even striped the one. Yeah- I'm the crocheting godess now. As long as what you desire is square or rectangle, that is. We are going to have THE warmest necks in town! Sam requested mittens- I laughed (out loud) at him. Mittens, hah!
Because Monday was especially hairy, I declared it Sundae Monday and made brownie sundaes right before bedtime. Anything covered in hot chocolate sauce makes a bad day better. And I make some really good brownies, mind you. I have my own recipe- very secret special recipe. I was going to type it here for you, but then figured what they heck- I'd just snap a picture of the box and you can buy your own. The recipe is printed right on the box. I'm such a chef.
And today- well today is Meat Madness Sale day at Marsh! I REALLY need to get a hobby, but for now this is the stuff that makes my heart go pitter pat. Stocking up on ground beef and chicken breasts. Who knew it would come to this? Hope you have a happy Meat Maddness Sale day!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
It's that time of year X 2
Once again, we embark upon the turn of the new year and the pitter pat of girl scout feet and their over priced baked goods. Only this year, something is different. We have TWO of them living in our home. With their order forms firmly clutched in their hands, they have physically attacked every person we know begging for orders. Except our neighbors. Being the weenie that I am, I have yet to bundle us all up to truck around the neighborhood forcing our neighbors to return the favor (me=years of buying their kids candles, candies, sausages, popcorn).
Emily is beaming, she is so excited to get to sell. Allyson is annoyed that her little sister gets to sell. I am personally dreading trying to keep all their money straight and separated- but it is cool to see them working on something, kind of together. Who am I kidding- all they are doing is jumping over one another to attack our family members first. But still fun to watch I suppose.
Everyone justifies buying the cookies with a 'they are just soo good'. And I agree- girlscout cookies are good. But at $3.50 a pop they dang well better be- can I get an AMEN! But it's for a good cause, blah blah blah. The troops do raise a lot of money to get to do some really cool things- so that is something to look forward to!
But- consider yourselves warned- if you hear a knock on your door it might just be one of these sweet innocent girls with their boxed crack for sale. You decide if you want to open the door or not.
Oh- and starting mid February you won't be safe on the weekends at the groceries either as the cookie booths will begin.
Me personally? Just counting down the days to Feb 13 for my box(es) of tag a longs to arrive. They make it all worth while!
Emily is beaming, she is so excited to get to sell. Allyson is annoyed that her little sister gets to sell. I am personally dreading trying to keep all their money straight and separated- but it is cool to see them working on something, kind of together. Who am I kidding- all they are doing is jumping over one another to attack our family members first. But still fun to watch I suppose.
Everyone justifies buying the cookies with a 'they are just soo good'. And I agree- girlscout cookies are good. But at $3.50 a pop they dang well better be- can I get an AMEN! But it's for a good cause, blah blah blah. The troops do raise a lot of money to get to do some really cool things- so that is something to look forward to!
But- consider yourselves warned- if you hear a knock on your door it might just be one of these sweet innocent girls with their boxed crack for sale. You decide if you want to open the door or not.
Oh- and starting mid February you won't be safe on the weekends at the groceries either as the cookie booths will begin.
Me personally? Just counting down the days to Feb 13 for my box(es) of tag a longs to arrive. They make it all worth while!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Celebration #2
Birthdays turn into birthweeks around our house. We always celebrate on the actual day with just the five of us. Then we have a bigger family get together or a friend party. And, if you are hip to the preschool network (which is only Sam now), there is usually 'special birthday snack bucket day' where the birthday person gets to bring a special snack for all their preschool buddies. Yesterday was Sam's family party day:
And, for those of you who expect me to be completely bakerly challenged, feast your eyes on this:
Ha! Not too shabby- even if the frosting did taste like pure crisco.
Sam took a look at the cake and said maybe we should have done the train cakes afterall. There is just no pleasing this young man.
And, for those of you who expect me to be completely bakerly challenged, feast your eyes on this:
Ha! Not too shabby- even if the frosting did taste like pure crisco.
Sam took a look at the cake and said maybe we should have done the train cakes afterall. There is just no pleasing this young man.
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