Thursday, January 20, 2011

Another reality show idea

10 men- 10 different houses.  Each with three children. 

All three children have fevers.  Big fevers.  They are whiny, discouraged, bored, and sick.  Occassionally one starts to feel better from either nature or motrin- and they get active.  They stir the pot.  There is screaming, complaining, hitting, major arguing.  They wear out and collapse- but another emerges, a tad of energy to steal someone video game or coloring set- more stink stirring- more crying.  Settle the tribes, they are restless.  Entertain them- rent movies, read books, play games, make crafts.

In addition to children having make up homework folders the size of Montana, he must deal with basketball team photos, basic household duties, bill paying, girlscout field trip, girlscout cookie orders (he's the troops cookie dad- so this means for ALL 12 of the girlscouts) and a job that is a bit more demanding right now because of an upcoming special event that may include the worlds best jet team in the universe that they just got confirmation for this week.  His cell phone is ringing- is it the doctor? Or the office? Or the school?  What- another sick to to pick up?  She was feverless when I put her on the bus?  Off he goes- kids in jammies with sickly ooze dripping from their ophaces- to the school to retrieve yet another sickly offspring.

All the while- 11 6-year-olds from his daughters class are scheduled to arrive at his home in T-50 hours (give or take) and he has promised a cupcake decorating tea party with fancy crafts and games scattered in.  6 hours prior to that- the inlaws arrive for an overnight visit.  24 hours after the party of all parties- the family joins you for a dinner celebration.  The night before the big girl party- a church youth function that he runs.  Games, lesson, crafts, snacks- the whole shebang.  His wife- his partner in crime- working.  She is of no help.  He must balance this on his own.

His task- to shop, plan, prepare, clean, wash, and decorate for all of these events while running around with sprite, cough syrup, disinfectent rags and puke buckets on 2.5 hours of sleep because 'someone' doesn't rest well when they are sick and they also become extremely chatty (did you know that super man has two capes? look at that- this is benforce 10. look. look.  look.  look mom dad.  look.  can I have a drink.  I spilled my drink.  can I have another drink.  can we go in the living room.  I'm cold.  I'm hot.  I'm thirsty)  He must still prepare dinner- only in multiple forms because NOTHING is worse than whiny not feeling good kids when they don't like what you are making.  He must keep up with the NORMAL laundry and cleaning, in addition to the extra cleaning and washing required of a sickly household.

And he must do this all while not catching this illness himself.

Only the strong will survive.

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