Tuesday was dentist day. All three children had appointments at the same time. And you know what that means, right? It means the dentist called like 46 times last week to make sure we were really gonna show up PLUS sent two reminder postcards.
It also means that I got that blessed 20 minutes ALONE in a waiting room with a fabulous selection of up to date magazines. Totally worth the $300 in my opinion.
I typically schedule these appointments for the crack of dawn dark thirty so that the kids won't miss much school, if any. Which NEVER seems like a good idea when the actual moment arrives and I'm trying to get three sleepy children dressed, brushed, cleaned and in the car. But when did I make their return appointments for this October? Yup- same time.
And of course- on this particular day- we arrive at Emily's school at 9:11. School starts at 9:10. Which means I have to physically take her in, get a pass and sign the late board. Which may seem like no big deal, except there are the other two. So this time, I did what any other responsible parent would do and I told them to wait in the van. But I did park in the entry way to the school- and there are gobs of windows- plus it would only take like 30 seconds AT THE MOST to sign Emily in. So it's safe.
I run her in, sign the board, kiss her head, wish the office gals a good day and run back out the door. And in that less than one minute that has transpired since my departure, Allyson has turned the radio up way too loud, both passenger doors of the van are opened, Sam is screaming a fake cry kid of whale, and Allyson is mopping up a spilled drink. Sweet mother of all things- are you joking me?
Here's what went down. Allyson decided immediately upon my exiting the van to change the radio station. Sam decided to utilize his freedom to change it back with his fancy rear of the van controllers. Allyson shut of his controllers. He tried to climb up to the front to turn his controllers back on. She apparently told him to get back- but then used her big bad 11 year old self to push him back. Which is when he fell and landed smack on top of his capri sun and it EXPLODED all over the back of the van and his car seat. Which probably hurt- so then he began to cry. really loudly.
And this is apparently the precise moment I exited the school.
My children do not behave. Ever. I am always the mother with some child pulled to the side tightly holding their arm and whispering in my motherly forceful squinty eye way that their behavior needs to straighten up. Or the one mopping up capri sun in front of the school with a crying 5 year old and teen music blaring from the radio.
I'm just cool like that.