There have been times in my life that I wish I could just see at least the end part of my life, like a little movie clip, to make sure everything ends okay. To know that it is alright. Just really to know how it ends. I'm a girl who tends to read the last page of the book around the second chapter.
But last night I was overwhelmed with the comfort that we can't. Because if we could see the entire thing all at one time- I'm just not sure we could handle it. To know upfront everything that we have to endure, experience or celebrate in our lifetimes- all at one time- might put our nervous systems into overload.
In the same breath, I feel so afraid sometimes of what 'might' happen. But the reality is that we are living breathing creatures- designed to feel emotion and pain and grief. Our bodies are not perfect, they break down and stop working, they get old and tired, they get sick, or they just quit. The only comfort that I can find is that none of it is random. None of it is a fluke. None of it was unknown by our Lord and God. And even on the final day on the earth- He knew many moons ago how it would play out and when that last breath would be drawn into our lungs. Because at that moment he receives us back, and I would imagine he's kind of been looking forward to that moment.
Yeah, I guess it's probably best that we only get little pieces at a time. I'm sure we just couldn't handle it any other way. If we knew everything that life was going to have us endure up front- it would completely change how we live it. Life is so full of enexpectedness- be it good or bad. I guess our job in God's eyes is to receive ALL of it with grace and give Him honor in doing so. Which is hard since we are just sinful broken humans.
Mr. Mike passed from this world on Tuesday. I feel peace for him- and grief for Missy Penny and the rest of us. The world most certainly is going to be much different without him in it.