Customer Service? Anyone? Anyone? Hello????

I have come to the realization that customer service does not exist in this world anymore.  Anywhere. 

Point #1:  Last winter Dan and I purchased a new piece of furniture for our living room.  And being the high class folks that we are, we did so at Big Lots.  Now I know what you are thinking- 'Geez Mynde, how on earth can you afford such high end merchandise'.  It was on sale.  Sale furniture at the big lots.  We Gobles go big.

Now, you can imagine my complete surprise when the recliner foot thing stopped going in and staying in.  You can also imagine how easy it is to climb in and out of a chair with the footrest fully extended.  I had some friends over for a bag selling/buying party and had to have Dan tie wrap the stupid thing down.  After some investigation, I discovered that I had in fact saved the warranty paperwork and receipt and 'cue fancy lights and angels singing' it was covered by a lifetime mechanism warranty.  So I called the Big Lots.

I got to speak with a woman in the furniture department who said that they don't make that item anymore and it probably wouldn't be covered.  I inquired as to what part of 'lifetime warranty' I was struggling with, because I didn't see a 'or until we quit making this cheap crappy thing' in there anywhwere.  She then pointed out that since she couldn't see the chair she wouldn't even know what part to order, which I quickly then offered to bring it to her (you have no idea how anxious I was to load it up and drop it right at her counter). 

Then, and here is where the really great customer service comes in, she pointed out that since we had been using the chair for over six months and the mechanism worked for over 4 of them- CLEARLY it was not a manufacturer defect.  We must have been misusing the chair.

Yes- she caught us.  We had in fact been sitting and reclining in the chair.  Most of the time with the footrest.  She's like a regular Sherlock Holmes, no wonder she achieved Manager status.  I mean really, all manufacturer defects would obviously have shown their ugly heads way before six.whole.months of use.  As I began to share my thoughts and praise for her EXCELLENT detection of customer fraud Dan took the phone from me.

I continued to talk to her though, even though I wasn't on the phone.  I mean, customer service like THAT deserves all the praise I could offer.

Over a month later, the part that Dan had calmly explained to her to order came in.  And Dan went to pick it up.  I believe he called the part he needed as the 'left hinge mechanism'.  This is what we got:

That, my friends, is the entire recliner foot rest mechanism. Sans upholstery.  If I had some foam and extra fabric I could make a whole 'nother chair.  Fortunately, my husband knows what the heck he is doing and we now have a functioning footrest.  And a really huge box with a bunch of scrap metal. 

Point #2:  I placed a $30ish dollar order with Kohls online during a sale and a free shipping day.  Yesterday it arrived.  Twice.  Two packages.  Two deliveries.  Two identical orders.  I call up the customer service number, held for over 10 minutes to talk to a person, and explain what has happened.  The gal tells me to let her look over the order because if there is anything she wants I can just ship it to her.  Once she decides that she doesn't require any of my basically stolen merchandise she explains that I can just return it to the store.

I can return it to the store?

See- I ordered this stuff online so that I wouldn't have to go into the store.  And now, because you screwed up, you would like me to drive across town, park amongst the other 3000 Christmas Shoppers, trapse through your entitre store to wait in line at customer service to give you back the stuff YOU accidentally mailed to me?  Uh, no.  No thanks. 

Then she said I could use the shipping label to send it back, all I'd have to do is pay the postage.  Really?  You'll let ME pay the postage to fix YOUR mistake.

I finished up the conversation by explaining that I had their stuff.  They could mail me a postage paid label/envelope/whatever or not.  Whatever.  I have no use for double my selections, but I am not going to put any money or time into returning them beyond taping it shut and putting it in the mailbox.

She's going to have a member of the customer service team follow up with me.  I can hardly wait.


Point #3:  50% of the time that I go to McDonalds and order an UNsweet Iced Tea, I get a sweet tea. And I never notice until AFTER I add four splenda. 

Case and point.  Customer Service is dead.