Quality time between father and son.......

You have no idea how disappointed I am that Dan has this beautiful sunny crown.  It makes it impossible to see the occassional tufts of hair and the blood streaming down his forehead.

A Tornado, A Circus and a Panic Stricken Mother

Last night- Emily's glasses broke......again.  This time the little teeny tiny screw that holds the side things together to make the lense stay in came out.  Now I'm not wanting to disclose any family secrets here- but the........um, what word am I looking for here..............quality of cleanliness in this home is lacking just a touch so the actual thought of being able to find said screw amongst the globs of blowing dog hair and debris infultrated rugs was completely out the window.  We had to go to that place.  The Wal Mart.

So I figured since we were going there, we were going to make a night of it and pick up the junk on the list I had started.  Only problem was I don't really shop at that store for anything other than having Emily's glasses fixed and buying guinea pig litter.  So it was like a really hard scavenger hunt with a posse of fighting monkeys. 

And just as we walk into the store, no joking, the tornado alarms start sounding.  And I just looked and Dan and laughed and said it would COMPLETELY figure that I was gonna die in Walmart (of all places).  The sirens sounded off and on the entire time we were in there.  I spent much of our shopping trip trying to figure out what part of the store I wanted them to have to dig my body out of.  That- and telling the children to freakin STOP that bickering or I was gonna BEAT them!  Something about that place just brings it out in all of us.

No kidding- they were on a rampage.  One would distract me with questions of what we would do if we got home and a tornado had taken our house away (not to worry Mom- we'd come live with you and Kimmy) while the other two would grab the nearest ball and begin throwing it around.  As if we were not in the middle of a store.  Then one would hit the other.  And the other would try to lick them back.  Then they'd start trying to kick.  They'd run around me like I was home base or something.  Pinching.  Poking.  Arguing.  Yelling.  Laughing. Playing.  STOP IT ALREADY.

And right there, on aisle 18, as I looked for ketchup to complete the list of items to purchase, I realized that they get out of school soon.  As in tomorrow.  For the whole entire summer.  Every single shopping trip for the next two months, as well as doctors appointment, library trip, work day and lazy day at home with be just like...............this.

I seem to recall days on end this winter where the ice and snow trapped us in our home.  No school for like over a week.  And there were discussions of make up days, new school ending times, etc.  And yet- nothing.  SOMEONE OWES ME THOSE DAYS BACK!  No possible way should they be getting out of school before memorial day?  They are not smart enough yet- they are lacking knowledge.  Please don't send them home yet- they fight, and bicker and argue.  They want me to entertain them.  They chase each other around.  They poke and pinch and hit.  I'm not ready.  It can't be time yet. 

I realize this may seem like me being a bad mother.  But you take on all three of them together and after 15 minutes of arguing, hitting, fighting, bickering, teasing, laughing.......you'll bring them back.  Guaranteed.  For the record, I love my children.  Give me any single ONE of them at a time and their company is the perfect addition to whatever activity we are doing.  I enjoy them INDIVIDUALLY.  But when the three of them are together.......complete madness.  And I'm just not yet prepared for that kind of summer.  Yet.  But apparently I will be........tomorrow.

And for my last two days of 'normal'?  I will attend field days, award ceremonies, lunches, deliver end of the year teacher gifts.  Very tricky school, taking my last two days away from me like that.

How to save $100,000 this summer- By Mynde

I found this article through another blog about a family and how they are going to save money this summer.  $12,000 to be exact.  It was written in all seriousness- but it is nothing but hilarious to me (and by reading the comments- which are sooo funny- I was not the only one).  I mean, really, who on earth does not see the absolute reality show idea when reading this ladies article?  Lets take her- and her money saving strategy- and plop her into a life where those budget cuts are the NORM and see how she can save a few more bucks.  I mean- what if you ALREADY serve hamburger (instead of steak) at your summer barbecues or you never had an arborist anyway? 

Inspired by her frugalness- I have decided to write my own list of how Dan and I are going to save over $100,000 this summer alone:

1.  Typically I order my photo prints from Snapfish, which averages out to around $.15 per print.  I will instead order them through Sam's club for $.13 per print.  I plan to print 20ish pictures this summer- that is a savings of $.40.

2.  Allyson has outgrown all of her shorts and most of her pants.  Again.  Typically we allow a budget of $1ish per item if we can find them at a yardsale or we get a bag of clothes from a dear friend.  Occasionally, we will 'splurge' at an actual store and pay around $12 for a pair of shorts.  This summer- I'm just going to stop feeding her and make her use rubber bands to hold the buttons together.  That is a savings of $16 (one new store pair plus 4 garage sale pairs).

3.  This summer- no one is going to break a single bone or have to have anything stitched shut.  Not only will that save gas driving back and forth to the hospital, but we can slap that 20% co pay right back into our bank account.  That should prove to be a savings of at least $180- give or take.

4.  No public swimming pools for us this year.  Instead we will dig a giant hole in the yard and line it with saran wrap and just let the Lord fill it with rain water.  Adults at the pool are $3 each and kids are like a buck fitty.  That is a savings of $10.50 per trip- typically 3-4 per summer.  $44 saved.

5.  Since the kids will be home- we will not be needing to fund their school lunch accounts the $1.80 per day.  2 kids- 40 days- $144 saved.  And since Ally is no longer eating- it's like a double win because I won't be feeding her here either.

6. Household renovations.  We operate on a basic 'fix what is broken' budget.  Since in the past 12 months we have replaced our furnace, air conditioner, washer/dryer, microwave, well pump and within the past 10 years the roof, windows and every other single dag gone thing that costs more than $50 it seems- we should be good to go.  Savings $25,000.

7.  Instead of the vacation to Italy and Europe complete with a Disney Cruise that we were contemplating this summer (complete with a traveling nanny and chauffeur), we will instead vacation with Dan's parents in Florida in their Condo and only really have to pay for our gas to get there and our food.  Savings of over $24,000!

8. Dan will drive a paid for Green Honda Odyssey with over 200,000 miles on it in lieu of the brand new Mercedes that he's been eyeing.  I have no idea what a luxury sedan costs- for for the sake of my money saving budget- we're gonna go with around $50,000.

9.  Call Waiting.  We are going to forgo that luxury this summer and instead save that $2 per month by making our callers hear a busy tone instead.

That is a grand total of $99,386.40 SAVED this summer alone.  Granted, I'm a little off from my goal- but if I trim just a big more from our budget I'm sure we can do it.  I mean switching to home made popcicles alone can save like $.75 per week.  If we shut off the electricity, do all of our cooking over a wood fire in the back yard and forgo the kids upcoming immunizations- we could EASILY reach that $100,000 mark.

Easy peasy.

(On a side note:  I've GOT to find out where Mount Baker is and be there when this lady and her family arrive for the week long camping outdoor vacation as opposed to their typical $5000 trip..........that would be worth the cost to get there alone!)

And so goes another chapter in our world

 So Sam wrapped up his last preschool year last Friday.  Complete with an end of the year singing program.

 I always am surprised that the tears just come.  I'm sitting there, lost in thought about this being who is growing and changing and becoming a small adult person and BAM!- warm salty tears streaming my cheeks.

 I will never ever tire of watching the kids in their programs.  Ever.

This particular end of the year program means an end to the Goble family preschool years- and that is feeling a bit hard to embrace.  Wow- could all of our children really be past this stage now?

I even begged asked his teacher to PLEASE hold him back.  He's not as well versed in his abc song as the others are, his coloring needs a bit more attention and clearly his name is backwards when he writes it.  But no dice- she said he must go to the 'K' word next year.  Damn.

 We have felt blessed to be a part of this beautiful preschool.  And by this woman- who we have known through this preschool.  All of the teachers are wonderful, and we have enjoyed every single one that God brought into our lives.

But this one in particular has taught all three of our children- which is pretty special to us.

Friday, as I hugged her and thanked her for another great year, (I bet you can see this coming) I cried.  And then she cried.  And then Sam asked why I was crying.  And as we walked hand in hand out of that building for the very last time- I tried to explain it.  But there are no words.  It's just time, natural progression, life marching on and a mommas neverending need to shed a few tears.

Goodbye preschool- thanks for being so kind to us.  We'll miss you. (some more than others)(mainly just me).

Help. Please.

I'm not even going to pretend that I know what I am talking about.  Cause I don't.  And as soon as I think I do- I bump the ceiling with a paint roller full of orange paint or my kid pukes in front of the entire sunday school class.  And it all just confirms one thing- I have no idea what I am doing.  So there is that.

On another note- I am in need of help. (seriously- I expect some good comments with suggestions- puleeze).  I spent the past week trying to find a new place for my nephews (plural) (yes- brothers) graduation open house because my sister so rudely went and burned her house down just two weeks before we were to have it there.  Then I adjusted the announcements, printed new maps to the new place and spent two hours cursing some big giant stupid printer that kept jamming up every.other.print until I finally held a stack of neatly printed, tear stained graduation announcements, with only half with torn bent corners from ripping them from the printing track secret back door in the printer.

And when I got back home from delivering them- I had an email inviting us to my nieces graduation party.  From eighth grade.  On the same day.  We haven't exactly been on 'speaking' terms with this portion of our family which has brought on rivers of tears more days than not (from me- not them I'm sure).  So to be included was nice.  But now we probably can't go- which is going to feel odd.  Like we're ditching them.  Which we are.  But in all fairness, we are kind of coordinating my nephews openhouse at the same time that day.

But that is not my problem.

The real dilemma here is WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU BUY A CHILD WHO IS GRADUATING FROM EIGHTH GRADE?  Do people really graduate from eighth grade?  And if so- why?  I have never once been concerned that she wouldn't make it to this point.  My nephews from high school?  Yes.  My niece from elementary school? No.  But we have to send some tissue paper stuffed 'thing'- what would that be?  New dry erase markers?  A trapper keeper?  A thesaurus?  (Do people even use a thesaurus anymore)  BFF forever necklace?   A justin bieber barbie doll?  Help me- please.  Please tell me what I am to buy and stuff tissue paper on top of- because I just can't handle any more stress.

My house of cards

You know how on a gorgeous sunny day you catch a sniff of something, in a passing breeze, and instantly you just know.  The rain is coming.  You can smell it.

I've had a similar past month.  Somehow my soul was preparing, knowing that 'something' was coming.  I began a mental review about how nicely things have been traveling along in my corner of the world, how safe and healthy and 'plain' our lives have been.  And just like that- I could smell the rain.  Almost like God was telling me to prepare my heart, for the storm was brewing.

I am not whining, nor complaining.  We all have rain.  It's part of life, and it's how God molds and forms us.  I'm not above it- and I am able to see the blessings in even the worst of situations.  I really am.  But it doesn't change the fact that my heart feels heavy, my sould feels worn, my emotions feel tapped out.  I feel sad.

*************************************

On the day that we were preparing ourselves to attend the calling for Mr. Mike, we got a phone call from Dan's parents.  The cancer, the one that I really thought he had fought and won, was in fact still there.  Growing, spreading, now living in his lungs.  More than one spot- seven.  Seven whole spots of that damn cancer......in his lungs.  He's already compeleted two of the six rounds of chemotherapy.  Chemotherapy that they have said is not to conquer, just to slow down.  Damn.

This time the chemo is supposed to make him violently ill, he will loose his hair, he will feel like death- but will be forced to continue.  Because we need him to.  He is afraid, he is scared, but he is finding a faith in God so that is the positive that I see.  For the first time since I've known him- I see him turning his face to the Lord and truly seeing Him.  I pray that soon he finds His peace- to help wipe away the fear.

********************************

The Tuesday before the air show (so just last week) my sisters home caught on fire.  It was an accident, it was scary, it was in the middle of the night while they were all sleeping, and it was very real.  It was the hand of God that got them all out safe- and that continues to follow and bless my sister and her children, who are now without a home.  Their 'things' are burned and what is left has a strong smell of melted plastic.  They are without a place to live.  They have joined my mom at her house- which is proving to be fairly taxing on them all.  It is going to be a long road for them to move, replace all that was destroyed and start over.  But they survived, and continue to do so.  And all that burned stuff, is in fact, just stuff.  And we can get more.  God delivered them all out of that fire unharmed, and that is a blessing.

***************************

This week we found out that Dan's mom is going to have to have a procedure done on her heart in a couple of weeks.  It keeps getting 'out of rhythm'.  Twice they have put her to sleep and shocked it back into natural rhythm, and then it somehow slips back into it's own thumpity thump.  This is wearing on a heart, and a body- and explains why this vibrant woman has been so very tired.  The next step?  Well, they are going to thread something through her veins and into her heart where they will burn nerves.  They said there is a 70-80% chance it will solve this problem.  But wowzers that sounds pretty serious and scary to me.  And I am afraid.  But comforted by a strange peace that comes only from God.  I know he loves me- and her- and will be holding the hand of the surgeon the whole time.

******************************

More often these days I just find myself praying for peace and comfort for those I love.  For it seems that so many are going through such awefulness.  And I simply have nothing to offer, no way to fix anything, no way to try and help make it better.  So I just keep praying- knowing that God has a hand in everything, hears every single word I say, and captures my tears in a bottle- and loves me and all of these people so very much.  So I pray to Him.  Many times I am not even sure what to pray for, because I know He knows what is best.  So basically I just ask for His peace for those I love.  Please God, give their hearts peace.

So- if you have noticed that things aren't as funny, as light, as humorous here- we'll they just aren't right now.  But they will be again, just give me a minute to digest everything, bake a few casseroles and pray a little more.  Then I'll be able to share our stupid stories again.

A game for your Thursday morning pleasure........

Glance through these pictures and see if you notice anything (answers at the end).

1. Why yes- Sam does in fact point with his MIDDLE finger (we're working on it) 2. Notice world famous Jaquie B. Warda, one in five female aerobatic performers in the country with my sweet Emily after a seminar where she tried to convince Emi and 11 other little girls that they could do what she does (don't worry- I plugged emily's ears) 3. Notice his shoe?   4. I got a huge big hair cut- mom says I look housewifish (moms are givers) 5. This was probably seconds before Allyson said 'ouch!' 6.Why yes- that is a pick up truck, that is apparently ours- which my children think is better than a ride in a roller coaster.  But what a cool picture? 7.Could she really be the size of a full grown woman? 8. You are correct, that sky looks like it is about to unleash all hells fury on our sweet air show 9. I can't believe it either- but that is the face my husband makes when someone holds up a camera (I know) 10. Ring Pops- apparently Dad doesn't see a problem with TWO crystalized sugary stickiness instead of just one.

Wild Animal Kingdom

My children are nurturers.  And I suppose they get it naturally- I mean after all, if I could somehow bring every single orphaned living item into my home I totally would.

They were beyond themselves excited to discover this gorgeous butterfly in our yard and immediately went to work building it a habitat, giving it a name and preparing gormet meals for it.

 And who could blame them?  Although- that red furry part makes me think it might be a vampire in disguise?

 And at the air show office- a momma duck who innocently laid her eggs in a quiet removed area (that quickly became a sea of beeping trucks and screaming men) managed to have all thirteen of her baby ducks hatch just two days before the show.  And I could hardly wait to show the kids- because I knew they would just die inside like I was.  And they did.  And them momma duck took her babies and happily marched them off far away from the air show- and I was standing on a pile of mud screaming to bring my babies baaaack.

 So imagine my surprise when Friday one of the volunteers brought in a baby bird who had been found alone in the grass in the parking lot.  They had watched it all day and no momma was coming back for it and it way dying.  And so I agreed to let it live under my desk and every hour on cue I would stop everything to carefully feed this baby bird a mixture of ground up hot dog and water (what- you are surprised I couldn't kill a worm?)  And that night, when my kids came out to the show, I introduced them to the most beautiful little baby creature and instructed them how to take him home and care for him.

And so they built a bird retreat in the garage and learned the art of feeding a squaking bird every couple of hours.  And they named him Binny.  Binny got to where he was walking around, squaking, eating well, starting to fluff up.  He seemed to be doing okay.

Until all at once he wasn't anymore.  He got weak, quit moving around, and just kind of laid while opening his mouth repeatedly.

Saturday night, Binny died.  And I will forever hate myself for making a huge rookie mom mistake by letting them care for this tiny creature that probably didn't stand a chance in the first place.  Because they were all crying, and I was crying.  And late that night we had a funeral for Binny, said prayers and placed flowers.  And I held all three of my children as they learned  a hard lesson in life.  And I kicked myself for creating their pain in the first place.

And now I am fighting the urge to get them a puppy.  Because the LAST thing we need in this house is anything else alive.

I'M BACK!

If you may have been thinking that I'd hung up the old blog, no such luck.  It was just a hellish sort of week that involved working over 100 hours in 7 days (that is not an exaggeration- it is for realz), lots of stress sweat and tears.  But it's over, and I'm back. 

This week will still be nuts as everything that has been borrowed, rented or used has to be returned to wherever it came from.  And although I can't help with it all, I get to tie up the loose ends, cut down banners, and start to put everything that lands in the office back in it's home.  Needless to say my energy is gone, so I'm gonna have to suck it up and do the best I can.  I just hope my feet quit hurting sometime in the near future.

Last night- I was able to leave work and head home after just 13 hours of work.  Some unwanted rain forced a closure of the air portion of the show and crowds dwindled early and before you know it, most everything was shutting down.

So- at 8pm I decided to head for the hills.  I tried to call my home- but my emily wouldn't let me speak to her dad and asked that I just talk to him when I got there.  Being tired, and hungry, I picked up a pizza before arriving at our homestead.

I was giddy to get home in time to actually see the children, AWAKE.  And as I came through the garage door my heart was singing to see Dan waiting for me.  And out of his mouth came "Do you have dinner for everyone?".

And TAG- just like that- I got my job back.

I'm glad to be back, I'm glad we all survived, I'll be glad when the house is back to my normal.  I'll share more tomorrow- but I gotta go wake children and begin our day (Dan is sleeping in : )

I ain't yo momma!

 This morning- I awoke with the chickens to shuffle our eldest out the door for school, prepare our youngests donation envelope for his magical Wonder Walk today and dig up a dollar for the middles hat day.

 And then I started writing a list of stuff for Dan- our current Momma- to try and accomplish today.  Just basics like go to the bank- return these shoes- feed the children- children's activities and times- and for the love of all things pretty wash me some dag gone clothes would you puleeze.

 Last night- when I came stumbling through the door at dag gone near midnight- that same door I stumbled out of at 9am that morning- gallon of milk in hand, Dan looked up and said "well I'm glad I didn't make a special stop to get that".  I'd mentioned in the morning I'd try and get some- to which he didn't argue- so I did.

 I kindly (kind of) pointed that out and then discovered that the pants I put in the washer that morning and asked if he could toss in the dryer at some point were actually still in the washer.  So prior to putting away our groceries- I had to put my pants in the dryer.  And I may have mentioned that I asked if he could help with that.  Really- I was too tired to pick a fight- I was more whining than anything.

 To which he responded about how busy he'd been and hadn't just laid around all day.  No kidding?  You mean this stay at home, raise the kids stuff isn't easy?  Where's the bon bons and the magazines?  Where are the two hour bubble bath soaks?  No fresh mani pedi today?  Huh- strange.

Although, I must admit I would MUCH rather be the momma to this family.  I kind of enjoy it and live for it really.  So I am pretty stoked about breezing through the next weekish and climbing back onto our horse.

On a different, yet strangely similar note:

This morning around 7:30 Sam came running out and said he was dreaming he was in the restroom- except he was still asleep- and he peed his bed and needed a bath.

And for a small brief moment I was hugely relieved that I could just add 'wash all of sam's bedding' to someone elses list for the day.

Looks like Dan won't get that afternoon nap afterall.

Today........

Today I am especially thankful for a husband who would take a weeks vacation just to take over the reins of our home so that I can get through this crazy air show this weekend.

He has become Mr. Mom and is handling piano lessons, softball games, laundry, uniform preparation, lunch packing, and even some of the cleaning. 

And he seems to be doing a good job at hanging in there and keeping it all together.  It makes it all possible.  Yesterday he even called me to see if he could bring lunch to me at work, which made me feel so blessed.   I only wish he would have called AFTER I dropped my lunch on the floor upside down.  Ugh. Having him home takes the huge burdon off of me while trying to work 12 hour days and keep my sanity to know that he is here, holding down our fort.

Well- for the most part anyway.

And then she started coloring inside the lines

Dear family,

I miss you.

Please understand that it is not my choice to be gone 12-14 hours a day right now- and that I would prefer to be home BEFORE you go to sleep instead of always after.  But we're in 'the month'- the one that preceeds 'the air show'.  We've moved from my 'being able to keep up with both home and work kind of in a not really good kind of way' to'fasten your seatbelts and hold your breath- it's almost over'.

I don't know who got their baths last night.  I don't know who's almost out of clean underwear.  Or how much milk is left.  I'm not sure what's on sale at Target, who is having Bosco Sticks for lunch, if we've used up all the ground beef yet, when the rugs were vacuumed last or where I put my car keys when I stumbled home at 10 last night.  I feel removed, distant and lonely.  I would rather be on the INSIDE with you- but instead I am way out here.  And I miss you all so much.

Dan- you seem to be doing a beautiful job keeping up our home front.  At least all of the kids are still alive and I have counted that as a victory more than once.  Remembering to feed and water a living being is a big job- and you are apparently keeping up with it.  Plus you don't look too aweful worse for the ware- so I suppose you are hanging in there?

On the counter in the kitchen- the one where we used to have nice meals and share homework time, but is now apparently where we stack mountains of papers and mail until I return home for realz- I found some of Emily's homework this morning.  And they were the most perfectly colored pictures I have seen in years.  Allyson quit using crayons a while back- and up until this morning Emily still colored like a little baby girl.  I was taken back by how grown up the girl who colored them must be. I apologize for the tear drops on them- they just started falling as I sat there realizing how much I am really missing by not being here at home with you all right now.  And how- just like the butterfly that was colored- every day my children are evolving, growing, changing- and I have missed the past 2 weeks of it and will miss about 2 weeks more.

10 more days and the air show will be over.  15 more days and I will be back home most of the time except when I run into work a couple days a week for a couple hours at a time.  We can totally do that- right?

I was not built for this.  I can't wait to be home and take our household reins again.  Please stop hiding things in the bottom corners of your closet until I do so.

Love,
Mom

Mike

When I was a little girl, probably about 12ish maybe give or take, I remember getting the biggest pumpkin I'd ever seen in my whole life.  It was around halloween time and there was a knock at the door.  It was Miss Penny and Mr. Mike- and on our porch was a pumpkin the size of one of those huge excercise balls.  It was amazing.

And I remember thinking at the time that they had the chance to keep that thing all for themselves, but they gave it to us.  Of course now I know that the glory of a pumpkin that awesome would have been lost on the porch of a home without little kids- but at the time I thought they had given us their entire lottery winnings.

Mr. Mike and Miss Penny have always been a part of our family.  I do remember when they were married, but I swear I don't ever remember a time that he wasn't a part of their home.  Probably because I'm the baby- but they have been married for over 20 years so I suppose I wouldn't remember much of a time without him.

Miss Penny and mom are best of friends.  And Mr. Mike and my dad were too.  I remember when my dad died- I wondered how his friends, his two closest friends, felt.  Mr. Jerry Wayne and Mr. Mike, they were his closest friends.  Jerry died within a couple years of Dad.  And now Mr. Mike has gone too.  Today we will gather to lay his body to rest, seems appropriate that it's a little dreary outside. 

Mr. Mike was a wise guy- always cracking little jokes or making light of a situation.  Always.  He was joyful, happy and just basically pleasant.  I'm not sure the man would have ever met a single person he wouldn't have sat down next to and just chatted.  And (just like my dad) he had this curved little smile lip thing and a bit of a twinkle to his eye right when he would deliver a funny part of a story or whatnot.  He was deeply faithful, an inspiration to all who knew him. He was also a good husband to Miss Penny- she so deserved a good man like Mr. Mike, and I am thankful that the Lord led them together.  Probably a better husband than most because he had like NINE sisters- and I imagine they beat the nasty boy traits right out of him : ) 

He struggled with that nasty beast cancer for the last two years of his life- but he did it with such a grace that you couldn't help but to feel at peace with everything that was happening.  I guess that is what happens when the love of the Lord truly lives inside of you- you behave like Mr. Mike did.

His last words to me were that anyone who brings Tuna Casserole to his wake has to eat it.  I'm thinking I'm might just have to find a recipe in his honor.

If you feel so inclined, please lift Miss Penny and all of Mr. Mikes family up in prayer.  It's gonna be mighty hard to get used to living in a world without that man in it.

How we spend every Sunday the week after Easter- at least up until now

Our children have attended preschool at a local church.  And every year, the first Sunday after Easter, they preschool kids sing during worship.  And I love it.  It's hard to believe this was the last time we will do this.  I absolutely ADORE seeing the children sing out our Lord.