Thursday, October 14, 2010

The gig is up

It happened this week.  A friend unexpectedly needed a ride.  Of course I didn't mind.  Without hesitation I told them to get in the car.  I didn't even think about it.

But I had left something out on the seat, something that was rather private and something my friends probably don't know about me.  I mean, I'm sure they have an idea.  It's hard to be around someone who does this and not know.  It becomes rather obvious after a certain amount of time.

But for her to just see it, out there in the wide open in all it's wholeness.  I wasn't prepared.

She opened the door and I heard her gasp.  And then I gasped because I realized what I had done.  She had seen it, and there was no way around it.  I mean, sure I could pretend like they belonged to someone else.  I'm just holding them.  I don't know where they came from.  You all know the drill.

But no- instead I had to come clean.

Yes, it is mine.  And I'm a couponer.  But not like an occassional 'oh look- $.50 off laundry soap' kind of couponer.  I'm more like the 'keeps a trapper keeper sorted by type of coupon- buys 4 sunday papers for the extra coupons- has even bought coupons on ebay' kind of couponer.

Is there a support group for this?

I used to use a lot of coupons, and then I had a lot of kids and there just is no good way to balance children and a coupon organizer while running amok through the grocery store fighting the odds of hunger and poop- both which will emerge from said children if you are not lightening quick.

But now- I am getting back in the saddle.  And this little gem is my newest baby- my addition to our family.  Bought and paid for, with a coupon of course ($10 off a $25 purchase- go me!)

So before you judge- just listen to this.  This is what makes my heart go pitter pat.  This is why I mess with coupons.  This weekend at CVS I purchased two boxes of instant oatmeal, 2 packages of starburst gummi's, 4 dove chocolate bars (halloween is coming up-and with a neighborhood of less than 6 trickortreaters we pass out full size candy bars), 2 dawn dish soaps, 2 gallons of milk, 2 tubes of colgate toothpaste and a bottle of method laundry soap.  My total was over $30.

I used 2 $2 coupons on the oatmeal, a buy 1 get 1 on the gummis, 4 $.55 on the candybars, 2 $.50 on the dawn, and 2 $1 on the toothpastes.  Plus I had a $5 off of $30 plus $6 extra care bucks. 

I paid $8.65 for all of that.  But here is the kicker.  I got back a coupon for $14.99 in extra care bucks good at CVS on my next purchase.  I got back more than I paid for- plus I have milk, laundry soap and toothpaste.  Not to mention chocolate.

That is why I coupon.  Because I coupon, I am then able to buy extra and share with others either in my family or through the food bank.  And I hear that the food bank shelves are empty- I even heard that Gleaners is shutting down for a month because they have nothing to give.  So if I can stretch my dollars and have lots of extra, then I am okay with that.  If I can stretch Dan's dollars that he works so hard for and have plenty for our family (all be it oatmeal which he doesn't really like) then I will do that.  Plus I get to go shopping, which I love.

Really- that is probably really why I coupon.  Because I am obsessed and I love 'going for the kill' at the check out.  And I love how certain cashiers will huff and roll their eyes, like I am really putting them out or something.  Not really so much on that part.

So there it is.  The truth is out.  I am a couponer.  I'm sorry you had to find out like this.  I don't buy much of anything without one.  I pick where we go out for dinner based on one I have.  I switch brands on things that don't matter to me based on the best deal I can get.  I live for Sunday mornings and a new batch of sale papers and coupons.  It's my vice.  I even read a ton of coupon blogs.  This- by the way- will not become one of those.  There are already a ton of them, so just go read one of those.  I will continue to keep my focus on young men peeing outdoors and total and complete crazyness that is living with 3 children.

Anywho- I'm looking for a name for my new mambo jambo coupon sorter.  I'm thinking a male name, since it is so useful but labor intensive.  I was leaning toward Brutus- but that is the name of my father in laws truck and I'm afraid Sam would get all confused.  Then I thought Hank- you know kind of rugged and strong, dependable and handsome.  Any suggestions?


Ronda said...

Weezer. After the Steel Magnolia's nutjob. Because I think that's what this couponing thing is....nuts. Mom did this to me. I was on board with what you said until you mentioned that you choose restaurants based on coupons. Never, in my childhood, did I get to order what I wanted. NEVER. EVER. My order was based on what my dad wanted and my mom's coupons. If we were at Arby's and dad wanted a beef n cheddar and there was a coupon, it was his. If I wanted a beef n cheddar, and the coupon only covered one, tough luck. No beef and cheddar for you. It's like the soup nazi, but worse. Waaaaaay worse. Godspeed with your little couponing self. I wish you well. I will pray for the digestive tracts of your children.

Halalamama said...

I want to be a couponer. I'm not a couponer. But I like chocolate and saving money....hmmm...