Dear Senator,
I am a law abiding, tax paying (technically- even if I only work for 6 hours a week) citizen living in the gigantic metropolis of Greenfield. And I am concerned about some items that I am not seeing any initiative to rectify. Listen quickly, as I am being forced to type fast.
First, let me explain my concern with all the trees and their leaves. They are all over the place. Absolutely covering the grass. And yet no one has come to do a single thing about it. No one. It's embarrassing and I want to know when I can expect some assistance with this issue. Obviously they need to be either sacked up or mulched, whatever you deem appropriate. This is what our property taxes are for, right? Oh- and the gutters obviously need cleaned out so you can take care of that while you are here.
Second, I have just noticed the obscene amount of cobwebs and 'fur' in my bathroom on the light fixture and the vent. It is very apparent to me that it has not been cleaned in a very long time. Unacceptable. What are you plans to fix this issue?
Next. My vehicle has 170,000 miles on it and the check engine light is on. We were forced to take it to the Honda dealer to have it investigated, since you choose to ignore it. It is some sensor riggermaro thingy and they said we could drive it like that for a year or so, but then we would have to have it replaced. Please contact them and then let me know when you plan to take care of this.
Fourth- our cupboards are bare. We are down to our last pound of ground beef and one last package of chicken. Obviously, that will not last long around here. It is quite apparent to me that SOMEONE needs to go to the grocery and buy some food. But who is going to do that? We keep waiting and waiting and no one has even noticed. Not even a phone call to check on the current status of our pantry. Except Allyson, who keeps saying 'we are out of cereal mom'. Gosh, who does she think I am? I am doing my best to teach her to be independent and self sufficient, so I will help her draft a letter to you regarding this matter later today. In the mean time, who will be delivering some food to us? Oh- and bring some ketchup too, as we are almost out.
And one last final issue. We have been doing our part of placing our dirty clothes into the baskets when we take them off. That is not an easy task, it takes planning and coordination. We work very hard to see that it happens, some of us more than others. And then nothing. No one comes and does anything about it. Several folks in my house (all under the age of 10) have been all 'waa waa waa, I have no clean pants to wear, waa waa waa'. I hear their cries, I'm out of jeans myself. But what are ya gonna do? I just tell them to thank our government and wait some more. Still today, nothing.
I will be expecting you to rectify these situations immediately. Bring your rake and some detergent, you have your work cut out for you. I will be at the computer. There is a serious problem with our toilet and the flower beds, and I feel a letter to the President might be in order.
Sincerely,
Crazy Mom of three
2 comments:
If this works, you'll have to let me know.
Good luck!
you must be a democrat...expecting government to handle it all for you
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