2011 can Suck It

Last year felt so emotionally taxing to me.  I spent so much time crying that by the time Christmas rolled around all I wanted to do was cover my head with the blankets and wait for it to pass.  Perhaps it's time to review my anti-depressant medicine with my physician.  Or perhaps 2011 was a really hard year.  I'm trying to balance the bad with the good, to remember the good things over the horribleness that I wish I could forget but never will.

I even made a list of all of the things that have made me feel broken this year-  because I was going to blog about them.  But to heck with that.  Who needs a list to remember such horribleness and loss?  To remember how desperately people you love and know are hurting?  No one.

Instead- here are the highlights of my 2011:

My family is here, and they are healthy and well.
We got to enjoy our annual valentines dinner at White Castle.
I let the kids play hookie from school to attend the St. Patricks day parade
I received flowers for no reason on a totally unexpected day
Dan and I participated in a marriage bible study
All three of my children still participated in an Easter Egg Hunt
We got to go to the Great Wolfe Lodge
My nephews graduated from high school- one of them began college
My sister and her children didn't die in her house fire
Dan's mom came through her heart procedure just fine
All three kids got to play softball
Dan turned forty one!
Allyson loved church camp
We said goodbye to fabulous friends, but got new neighbors and friends in return
We got to spend a week in Florida with dans parents
Dan's dad is continuing to fight that damn cancer
So is my mom
We said goodbye to Lewis, our family dog, but in return Rosie was brought into our family by complete surprise
There was a family camping weekend, and a friend camping weekend- both were awesome
Emily began playing the piano
Dan and I celebrated 15 years of marriage
Allyson made the basketball team
I got a 4 slice toaster

People left our world this year, many people whom inspired us and helped to make us into the people that we are.  Family, friends, church family members.  It still feels very raw.  And just in the last few days of the dag gone year, two more dear people left this earth.  Jaylens mom (a friend and fellow mother) and Dan's Aunt Peggy (such a fine and special woman).  And as I try to put 2011 away and move on, we will have two funerals this week as we start the new year.  I so hope that 2012 is kinder, more gentle.  And I hope that I am able to focus on the good that I certainly hope it will bring.  2011 had good moments.  Just some really hard ones too.

I continue to pray for everyone I know and love that are suffering. Know that you are in my heart.