My new book.

I know you've all read, or at least heard about, the "If you give a _____ a _____ books".  You know- give a pig a pancake, give a moose a muffin, give a mouse a cookie.  Is it a cookie???  I can't remember, which seems strange as I have read them all like 73 times. 

I have a new one.

If you give a mom a moment.
She'll want a glass of tea to go with it.
While in the kitchen she will load the rest of the dishes.
On the counter she will notice a vase of dying flowers, she will empty it and take it to put it away.
On her way to the laundry room to put it away, she will hang up the pile of jackets that has collected by the front door.
In the laundry room she will put the vase away, water the dog, put the wash into the dryer and think 'what the heck'.
So she will proceed to get another load of laundry for the washer, one of her daughters loads of clothes.
While in the girls room, she will put 52 pairs of shoes back in their spots on the shoe holder, feed the guinea pigs and fold their blankets (the children's, not the pig's).
She'll drag the laundry back, start the wash, and hear the dryer buzz.  She'll fold up that load really quickly.
And since it is all folded, she'll decide to put it away.
In her little boys room, she'll discover that there are 129 action figures between her and the dresser.  She will gather them up quickly to keep from popping little holes in her feet.
Away goes the laundry.  Away goes the basket.
While putting the basket away- she'll discover that 'someone' may or may not have peed in their closet again (don't judge).
She'll go to get rags, water and carpet cleaner- from the laundry room.
While in the laundry room, the washer will be done.  She'll put it in the dryer.
And what the heck, go to her room to get another load to start.
But her laundry isn't sorted, so she will do so.
She will gather her unmentionables and start the washer running.
While there, she will notice the rags and cleaners and remember the closet.
She will tend to that.
She will decide it is time to start that moment, she will go to find her book- which is probably by her bed.
But first she will decide to use the restroom.
While there, she will notice that there is no more toilet paper.  She will get under the counter to get some more only to discover there is none.
She will rummage through the other bathroom and turn up a package of tp.
She will restock her bathroom, put away the flat iron that was left on the counter, gather all of the towels from the counter and tub and put them in the hamper, and rinse down a huge glob of tooth paste.
She come out, grab her book and head to the kitchen to find that glass of tea.
While there- she will get out a package of chicken to defrost for dinner.
Her family will pull up in the drive way.  He children will blast through the door instantly peppering her with questions about who can come over and which one wants to play what game.
Her husband will come through the door and ask if she had a good rest.  She will beat him with a package of frozen chicken.
He'll point out how she wasted 'her' me time. 
She'll realize that for the mom there really isn't much of a moment at all.

Now- who wants to be the illustrator?