When perfect strangers look at us in disgust.........

So...........last week, in an effort to organize something in my life, Sam and I dropped by the car wash to vacuum out the car.

In the vacuum station next to us was a luxury car. The owner was using those lint free clothes (you know- the free ones they provide you with but I stuff them in my glove box in case of the surprise puking incidents) to dry the cracks around his headlights, grill and doors. Blaring from his radio- classical music.

So I fling open my doors and begin grabbing armfulls of trash to take to the can. On my third trip, I noticed him staring into our van. In horror. Complete disbelief swept over this poor mans face as he looked into our family vehicle. I smiled politely and proceeded to stuff the trash receptacle full of dried up fruit snacks, various wrappers and happy meal toys.

After like 10 minutes of this, we were finally ready to start the old sweeper.

The particular vacuum we selected had good suction (miracle) and sounded like a pop corn popper as I started to sweep the floors from all the 'crap' it was removing from my mats. Because you only get 4 minutes- I was hurrying. As I strummed it back and forth, a small piece of breakfast cereal was sent airborne and, much to my surprise, landed in my mouth- lodging itself in my throat.

As I writhed around the car wash, trying to dislodge said cereal, this man was still looking on- in complete amazement. I would like to think that should my airway have been completely blocked he might have considered administering CPR- but at this point he was just observing- with his eyes WIDE open and mouth the same.

Finally able to breath again, I went back to my vacuuming- now like a maniac with all the time lost choking to death. At the point that the vacuum finally shut off- our vehicle resembled most 'normal' vehicles. No toys strewn everywhere, most crumbs successfully removed, and the chewed bubblegum scraped up from the carpet.

In my eyes- success.

In his eyes- panic. I could mentally hear him thanking God that he was not me. And that this was not his vehicle. In fact, I'm pretty sure I heard him thinking that I better keep my snotty 3 1/2 year old away from his baby.

I couldn't help but think to myself "Yeah mister, I traded my days of polishing my wheels for days of sucking dried up food out of my upholstery. And now the Disney channel is what blairs from my speakers. And my polishing rags now work as accident recovery. Move on."

As I gathered up loose pieces of various paper that were blowing around the concrete that had incidentally fallen from my ride- I looked up and smiled at him once again before loading my Sam and heading out.

Poor fool. Someday he may be blessed with small ones to fill his seats- he'll never look on in horror again.