Dear School Fall Festival coordinators,

I got your notes- all 83 of them- about the upcoming school festival, thanks for the heads up.

I also got your notes about the sweet shop and how you need home made goodies donated so that we can in turn buy them back from you. I'm glad to do my part.

Funny thing- I'm having this gallbladder issue and have been vomiting all week because of it. Boy the fun just never stops, does it? And even though I am knee deep in a sorely neglected home and my own church festival plans- I am glad to whip something up for you.

Carmel Corn, good old fashioned home made carmel corn. So I popped the pop corn, cleaned up what Sam spilled on the floor and popped more corn. Drug the last 12 tablespoons of butter from the fridge, dug around the cabinet and (luckily) found brown sugar, and began the process. By process, I mean, I had to find my roaster (which strangely enough I found in the laundry room).

As the carmel was cooking, I decided it was time to cut out fabric for Allyson's Halloween costume, which she needs for tomorrow night- but hey who's counting. I was doing the "I am mom hear me roar" dance around the kitchen- all proud of myself for cooking your goodies while making a costume, unloading the dishwasher, reloading the dishwasher and emptying the trash. I mean, after all, it was 9:30 in the morning and I am not feeling the best but I was POUNDIN' IT OUT!

Then I noticed the carmel was turning black, oddly enough, around the edges of the pan. Ah Ha! It was burning. BURNING! Crap. So I thought maybe it was just a little and went ahead and mixed it with the popcorn (16 cups of popcorn) and baked it up.

One bite and I knew. It was indeed burned. But was it too burned for the school bake sale? I mean, who would even know who donated it. And you would already have the money at that point. But another bite proved that it was in fact too burned. Worried that those traitor school secretaries might sell me out as the donor, I decided to throw it out. Double crap.

Maybe, you might ask, I should just whip up another batch. But see- that is just not possible. Because I have to take a shower, I just have to. But maybe, if when I am done I have time, I will run to the store and buy more butter and come home and throw, I mean lovingly prepare, together another batch.

So I ran to jump in the shower- you know not a long relaxing hot shower- but a 'quick, must wash all important parts before my small children destroy something' shower. But it was not quick enough, because Emily came in crying about something (I never did understand her words between sobs) and I had to wrap it up and jump out.

Once consoled, she left, and I began to dry and dress. But not before she reproduced herself, naked from the waist down, informing me that she just really had to go potty. Still confused, I asked her what was up, and that's when she told me she made it to the toilet, but forgot to raise the lid.

So see- now my bathroom rugs, two towels, emilys underpants and pjs need put into the wash (which was already occupied- so that was another thing I had to do before I could do this) and I got to scrub down the entire bathroom floor, toilet and just for good measure the counters and sink too.

Now with all time spent- there is not butter from the grocery time. So you will not be getting a 'home made baked good' from this home. Not this time. But rest assured, we bought our game tickets, donated our used books, bought something for the room silent auction basket, and have signed up to volunteer.

But you should be aware, that if ONE of you mentions the lack of baked goods coming from this home, you should be prepared to be pelted with burned carmel shrapnel. Just a warning, spread the word.

Sincerely,

one crazy momma