Member services, yeah right

(a recap of my morning phone call)

Him- "Faetna Member Services" (name changed to protect the 'innocent')

Me- "Three weeks ago I mailed in a claim. You know, the kind that you refused to pay from a pharmacy item but were kind enough to let ME pay for upfront and then submit to you for reimbursement. Yeah, that one. Just calling to check on it"

Him- "Date of service, mam"

Me- thinking to myself, *mam* where does he get off. "10/5/09"

Him- "I don't show anything, did you mail it or fax it?"

Me- thinking to myself, fax it yeah right- tried that before and you NEVER say you receive it "Mailed".

Him- "Did you include the form?"

Me- "Uh, no, no one mentioned a form. But I did take my time in typing a long letter that included basically every thing your form does" thinking to myself, he's playing the form card. Great.

Him- "Claims received without the form are discarded"

Me- Chuckles. "See, surely that would not be the case as I did include in the letter (that's me, trying to trump the form) my phone number to call with any questions. See- they would have called." thinking to myself- any moran would have called, right?

Him- "You are speaking to member services, we make the calls. The mail goes to the claims department, they are not the ones to make calls. So they would have just discarded it."

Me- "They threw it away. Because they couldn't call. Do you see a flaw in your system?"

Him- "Mam (uhg, again?)- should you have read your 423 page member services guide- that is so legal mumbo jumbo that any normal person can't possibly comprehend it- you would have known you needed the form"

Me- being snippy- "Mail me back my receipts and I will send it back with the form"

Him- "We don't show that we ever received it. But all you have to do is go back to the provider for another itemized receipt"

Me- "Oh- that's all. All I have to do is go BACK to the pharmacy- with my three kids- again- and get ANOTHER copy of the exact same receipt that I already mailed to you. Great."

Him- "Would you like directions on how to get the form"

Me- thinking- no, what I want are directions to your office so that I can show you what I want you to do with the form! "That would be fabulous."

Nothing in this world of insurance makes any kind of sense to me. Does no one use any common sense anymore???? Including me????? Surely I knew there was a form. And it was a waste of my time to call. In fact, it was a waste of time to mail the stuff in the first place. Just consider my payment a donation. I surrender.