This wish I wish I wish I wish

You know how sometimes you are overwhelmed with a sense of peace?  Happiness? Euphoria?

Like all is right in the world and you just feel....................happy.  Not that everything is perfect, it just feels okay and right.

This has not been my year for that.

Don't get me wrong, I have had tiny glimmers of that. My walk with God this year has been strengthened so much that I can't even begin to explain it.  But every ounce of that peace that has come through our Lord, seems to have come through a trial or a hardship.  I've come to almost brace myself when I feel God's overwhelming presence or have a God window opened, because I bet something really big is coming.

And I am so over trials and hardships.

I don't want to be a whiner, but I am- so deal.  I haven't even had it that bad.  Many have had far worse crosses to bear.  But mine are mine, and so they are what I know.

Right now I feel like laying down in the road and screaming 'Take me now Lord'.  But that would be fruitless because I am sure I would survive and just loose my legs or something- and how inconvenient would that be?

So I will continue to march crawl drag myself on.  Good news is, I have been battling the flu for the past 4 days (the really bad kind) and I FINALLY feel like I can believe I'm going to feel better.  And day one of clean out dan's parents giant huge jam packed full barn is behind us.  Dan's mom got an offer on her house and will be moving by the end of June.  Into a cute little house that needs a bunch of work and sweat poured into it.  Lucky me this comes at a time when I am working like 60 hours a week and still trying to pretend I'm a stay at home mom.  Plus I obviously need to help clean out, pack, sort and move his mom.  And we need to finish up the barn, and yet start the garage.  Did I mention that they haven't gotten rid of a thing in their 50 years of marriage? Not even a coffee can?  And, yay, the kids get out of school this week.  Only I can't celebrate that because I'm too stressed.  And my house?  Even I don't want to live here right now.  Not only is it a disorganized dirty mess, we're out of milk.  And I'm the chief milk buyer.

So there you have it.  But it really is still all good.  One day at a time- we can do this.

In the meantime, I will close my eyes and wish it to be July.