Wednesday, February 1, 2012
LIFE- only more realistic
Oh no- little dumpling has the chicken pox. Take two weeks off work and forfeit $800 in pay. Plus- bounce 3 checks due to lack of deposits and pay late fees on 4 bills. Loose another $200.
Congratulations- you got a raise. 3% of your income. That means you get to collect $27 per pay period. The down side is that the increased pay put you into a new tax bracket and you end up LOOSING $60 each check. High Five on the Raise!
Oh Boy! Your having another baby. Pay $500 to the OB's office, $875 to the hospital and kiss goodbye any extra income you might have been earning because no one can afford to pay babysitting for three kids. Each player gives you $25 and a casserole.
Breastfeeding troubles. Pay $30 for herbal supplements.
No dice on the supplements. Pay $80 a month for baby formula.
Dog goes into heat and makes your house look like a crime scene. Spend $40 on dry cleaning bills for your bedspread, $20 on fancy doggie underpants that don't work, and $180 to have the carpets professionally cleaned. SPIN TO WIN to see if fido got impregnated. YES- $400 for puppy delivery and first round of shots. NO- cough up $200 for neutering your precious pup.
Thems the dumps! Your washer quits working. Pay $500 for another one that can't be delivered until next week and then another $50 at the laundry mat to get by until then. Collect a free sample of wash detergent that came with the new washer.
Your daughter makes the basketball team!!!! Pay $125 because your school system is in the toilet and you now need to 'pay to play' PLUS $25 for the fancy jerseys the team is ordering AND $130 for the physical that is required to be on file. Want to go watch your child play in actual games? That will be another $10 please. Two times a week. For the next two months.
Freezers on the Fritz, kiss your $180 in frozen food goodbye as you haul it to the curb for the trash (pay them $40 just to come get your trash each month by the way). Buy another freezer, $250 and loose a turn.
Child needs tonsils removed. Pay $300 in doctors fees and don't collect the next two pay checks.
Oldest makes Honor Roll at school! Pay $25 for reward field trip.
Basketball pictures, due tomorrow. Pay $20.
Miss calculate/balance your checkbook. Loose $300. You're not even really sure how or why or where- but if you choose to have someone at the bank help you pay another $25 and still loose the $300.
Great Aunt So and So passes away. Pay $50 toward flowers. Collect nothing from the will.
Outgrow your family home. Sell it for $5,000 less than you paid for it 12 years ago and buy a new one.
Download a virus onto your computer. $80 please.
Your little car full of blue and pink babies rolls 250,000 miles. Time for a new ride. Pay $400. Per month. For years on end. Good thing you got that raise.
PAYDAY. Collect $1000. Give back $80 for health insurance, $20 for uniform cleaning. $263 for taxes and other stuff that no one really understands, $40 for 401K.
What other fun 'real life' things am I missing????? Share your ideas and maybe we can split the profit of our new boardgame.