3 Bedroom/2Bath home for rent- SUPER

The super bowl is coming to town.  Yay Rah.

I have said from the beginning that I want to be NO WHERE near here when it arrives.  I am not one for crowds or crowdiness or traffic- so my plan is to either hole in and lock the doors or head out for a few days.  And then I heard about people who are renting their houses for several thousand dollars PER DAY during the event.  (Most of them require a 5 day minimum.)  Which obviously got me thinking about renting out our home.  I'm working on the ad- but here's what I have so far.

Enchanting Country Chalet- 3 bedrooms, 2 baths

See how I underlined the title and changed cute to enchanting- my marketing studies are totally paying off

Cast your worries aside in this beautifully furnished home located within walking distance of Lucas Oil Stadium (bring some really comfortable shoes- and be sure to head out 2 hours in advance of whatever time you want to be downtown).  A charming ranch style home in a quaint suburb of Indianapolis will make you feel right at home, as long as you live in a middle class ranch home in need of a paint job and a good cleaning with mediocre furnishings and broken handled kitchen pots. 

Two full baths and a furnished kitchen (eggs included)(maybe) will make your stay comfortable.  Although we would prefer you not use our shower in the master bath as that kind of creeps me out a bit- but help yourself to the kids tub/shower combo, they could care less.  You will rest in 5 star elegance comfortably in your choice of 1 King Size Bed, 1 Full Size Bed (yes our son has occassionally peed it but we will wash the sheets and mattress pad, no worries), or 2 twin bunk beds (only one person on the top bunk as they are kind of rickety unstable charming).  Indulge in the built in entertainment you will enjoy with 2 television sets and our pet guinea pig.  Tranquil fish tank will also provide for rest and relaxation.  Please- no bed bugs or head lice, inspection upon check in.  And don't brew anything other than coffee in my coffee pot. 

*Heated indoor pool. Indoor parking (as long as you only open your drivers side door a little bit as to not knock over the bicycles- which you are NOT to be riding).  Daily maid service provided (by me of course because I want to make sure you aren't messing up our house). 

Handsoap, toilet paper and overly bleached linens provided free of charge.

*closed for maintenance- better luck next time

Dan is worried that they would steal our stuff.  To which I said, what stuff?  I mean seriously- most of what we have is pretty used and abused, I'm wondering who would want it.  We have not any flat screen tv's, the vcr is broken, our linens are not from any luxurious foreign countries and my shoes are not italian.  What does that leave, our dishsoap?  For $2000 a night they can have it.  I'm also thinking that for that kind of cash we just throw out all the mattresses, sheets and pillows when the weekend is over and buy new- which opens up a whole new market to the headlice and bedbug crowd. 

Besides- anything that we would have concern over someone possibly taking/using/laughing at us about we could lock up in our bedroom closet.  And for extra security we would take the bobby pin that we use to open the lock with us..........secure like a steal trap.

I would obviously not include pictures of the tranquil fish tank as it's actually just about a gallon fish bowl in the kitchen.  And although I have seriously contemplated indoor photos- they might work to our disadvantage. In review of my original ad, sticky and live like a local seem like good descriptions to me- I've decided against them. Great for Corporate Entertainment seems to be a common theme among the other homes offered for rent- I might throw that in there too, afterall we do have a breakfast bar.

I'm not positive, but I'm thinking at a briefly discounted rate from the "Downtown Indy newly renovated Upscale Townhouse", plus the free toilet paper (which I have not seen in ANY of the other house ads) we just might be in the bed and breakfast business.