I've apparently joined a gang

Sam is settling into being in school just fine.  He is making friends, not loosing discipline 'cubes' very often and his favorite part is recess.  However, he still holds his pencil in a fist and doesn't know a single sight word.  The acedemics will come I hope, his focus is apparently on the social part.

He is, however, starting to 'get it'.  The whole idea that when you put letters together they make words.  And he is recognizing words all over his world and is now asking what they say.  Pretty much all the time.  The other day, while driving to school, we passed one of those cars with the blinky lights and flags and the huge yellow WIDE LOAD sign.  He was intrigued.

He then decided to draw a picture of it.  But he needed help spelling it.  So I would say the letter and wait for him to write it.  But he couldn't remember which letters were which.  I then proceeded to make the letters with my fingers to help him remember..... while driving the car.  The W, the D, the E, the A- you get the picture.  While at a stop sign, I realized that the guy ahead of me was watching me in his rear view mirror.  He must have thought I was flashing up some new fangled gang signs.  Or having a stroke.  Whatever.

We got to school- but were late due to a doctors appointment.  I walked him into the office, signed him in, got his late slip and turned to find him waving at all his friends who were parading past the office.  So cute, so little, so excited to see each other. 

Sam had a situation a few weeks back.  He was late so I had to sign him in, like I was this time.  He got his pass and took off down the hall to his classroom and I left.  Apparently he had no idea where he was going and ended up walking the halls of the school, kind of scared, not knowing where in the heck his classroom was.  This time, he asked how to get to his class and I explained that he could just follow the giant K signs and the arrows and they would lead him to his class.  He seemed fairly confident.  Until he asked what a K looked like again.  So I drew him a K on the back of his late pass- and he was prepared to head to class.

As he got ready to leave the office, I wished him a good day and told him I see him in a little bit and I bent down to kiss him.  He pursed his lips and leaned in to kiss me when his eyes drifted out of the office glass to his buddies in the hallway and he froze.  Once his eyes moved back to me, his little lips loosened and he simply said 'Maybe later mom'. 

And off he went. No kiss for his letter makin finger mom.  I felt defeated, broken, sad, but I knew this day would come.  And it did.  Fist bump for the momma and out the door he went.

I watched him walk all the way down the hallway and stop at the giant sign on the wall.  It said 3 + 4 with an arrow to the left and 1, 2, K with an arrow to the right.  He studied the sign.  He looked at his pass. Looked at the sign.  And then turned to the left.  I ran down the hall, got him and sent him back the right direction.

And back out the door I went.  He is my little man who is growing up quickly.  But not too quickly to totally not need me anymore- just not for anything like kisses in front of his buddies.