I done donated!

Dearest school,

Yes indeedy, we are full swing in the new school year- and I've got the empty wallet to prove it.  Sweet Nibblets you are some needy people.

I mean we hadn't even set foot in the building before we had the kids individual lists- which are always a highlight of the end of the summer.  That big old list of fabulous things we get to hunt down and purchase....yay school supplies.  All 1,278 items of them.

And then- at meet the teacher night, we are always glad to pick a few things off of the teachers 'wish' list.  Extra kleenexes, dry erase markers, wipes.  You know- stuff that us parents are glad to make available for our kids teachers.  Glad to do it.

$2 to help cover the printing cost for the school directory, no problem.

Weekly Newsletter mentions that teacher could really use some candy donated for the Candy Grill (the kids special place should they earn ALL five days of not loosing a single cube).  We sent in the BIG bag- the one with like 170 pieces of candy in it.  I figure I'm done with this request for the year.

Note from teacher- needs more dry erase markers.  Really?  I just sent in two 6 packs.  But okay- I mean I have them and I don't mind if you really need them.

Kleenexes for the nurses office, on their way.

M&M's for Mr. M's graphing project, of course I will send in a bag.  After all, anything that helps Sam learn his letters is only a benefit.

Time to sell Entertainment Books?  Really?  Wow- we'll try.  And end up just buying them ourselves.  Now I have a stack of these things- better make sure I use some serious coupons to get the money back.   Lucky for me there are lots that I can use for, you guessed it, DONATIONS.

Candy for the Entertainment Book selling party?  Uh- okay I guess.  Each kid selected their own preference of a giant bag of candy.  Funny how only ONE variety actually made it to the party.  Oh yeah- I noticed.    I'm smelling your breath office girls, and I KNOW The smell of chocolate.

And would this be a good time to mention the photo copy room supplies.  Last year, I asked the library assistant for a postit note and a rubber band and you would have thought I was a Russian Spy asking for the US National Safety Plan based on the look on her face.  She carefully unlocked a drawer, pulled out a lock box, inside was a locked zippered pouch, where she carefully removed a single post it note-tore it in half, and handed it to me.  She then said that there are NO rubber bands to be seen.  Anywhere.  I've since been picking up various office supplies when I find them cheap to send her way.  I mean, how can teachers possibly do their jobs without paper clips and rubber bands?

Fall Festival time?  Okay- I'll clean out our board games and donate our old ones, and our old books too.  And I'll swing by the store and pick up some two liters for the ring toss, and capri suns for the cafeteria.  Might as well grab a few cookie mixes, because I know you'll be asking for sweet shop donations.  Oh- and the check is in the kids backpacks for their tickets.  As well as my volunteer form.  And I saw the dinner ticket sale form, where we can buy back those capris suns we donated.  I'll get right on top of that.

What was that?  Oh- I nearly forgot about the individual class room silent auction baskets.  Of course, we'll be glad to send in a few items for each.  Although I have no idea what the hell a Tail Gating basket is or what I'm supposed to send for it.  But I'll do my best.

And not to worry- I got to speak with the room mom for Sam's room.  We discussed Sam's peanut allergy.  And she mentioned that she was going to be asking for, you guessed it, cash donations.  She mentioned that 'someone' at the school said she should just ask for cold hard cash because the afternoon class is really bad about donating stuff.

What?  Sorry if I missed something you were asking for.  I MUST HAVE BEEN AT THE FREAKIN' STORE BUYING SOME OTHER SHIT YOU NEEDED.

Lord help me.  I'm trying to be a generous giver here, but you are the neediest folk I've ever met.  And if I even hear a single word, I mean it, a single word, about the glue stick shortage, I might just go postal.  Do us all a favor and just raise the book rental by $10 and buy your own stuff.  Because this momma is getting worn out and the stress from remembering everything is about to put me well over the top.

I don't mean to scare anyone with the term 'going postal'. 

See you at the Fall Festival, let me know if there is anything else that you need.  I don't really mean that.  I do kind of.  Glad to help.  Sometimes.