SNOW DAY?

So the phone rang at 10pm last night. I knew. I just knew. I knew so much that I didn't even want to answer it.

It was the horrible computer calling to wreck my life.

She in fact confirmed that there was no school- again- today. I could be wrong here, but aren't the public schools REQUIRED to teach our children? And now they are all 'wha wha wha- snow snow snow'.

I do, in fact, LOVE the snow. I love it. My heart goes pitter pat when I see that mass of blue moving over our fine city on the weather channel. But it, apparently, comes with strings. Three of them.

See- by 8:30 this morning, there was already some pretty big arguing in my home. Operation Blowhole versus Some Teenage Crappy Show. Sammy rules this roost from 8am until 10am when Emily finally gets up. And even then- they like the same (almost) TV shows so there is not a ton of arguing (over the TV anyway- beads, puzzle pieces, chairs- that's all another story).

My life was simpler without cable TV. For many many years we just had public TV. The options are, well, there are no options. You either watch it- or you don't.

But with cable- we have 100 channels PLUS on demand PLUS whatever is on the DVR. So there is constant bickering over what to watch.

And that is just the tip of my iceburg today folks.

We are having guests for dinner. Not friends (although they are friends). I refer to them as 'guests' because they don't ever come over, yet. So I have to be on my game. Which means this house I have been neglecting for wayyyyy too long has to be transformed today. And now I have 3 strings in the way. It is not going to be pretty.

And the kids will complain when I make them go outside to pee. But I am not about to take the chance of letting them destroy the bathroom before our 'guests' arrive. No way.

And as soon as I sweep and mop our entire dag gone house (you know- the one that we thought we'd put laminate floors throughout so that they would be pretty?) Sam will- without a doubt- want to get out playdough. Or they will want to go outside and play in the snow- then drag half of it back in with them to melt all over my clean floors. Or Allyson will get out a bucket of beads- and they will drop them everywhere.

And now Sam is standing here begging me to do a puzzle. And after the puzzle, he'll want to play trains. And after trains, cars. And after cars, more puzzles.

There will be no winning for me today.

The only one who holds any promise is Emily. She cut open a box of samoas and has planted herself in front of Chef Franc. She is good for at least an hour.

So- I am off to knock down cobwebs, scrub toilets, hide laundry and select which doors will remain closed tonight to protect the innocent.

But before I go- I must share. There is this saying that my mother in law has always said. She doesn't say it so much anymore, but it is forever embedded in my mind. I pull it out only at really severe situations. I save it for when things are really bad. (mom-cover your eyes- it involves a curse word- which you have informed me I shouldn't use on my blog because it makes me look 'cheap')

As I listened to the computer declare that my Tuesday was going to in fact SUCK BIG FAT EGGS- the saying came screaming through my mouth.

WELL SHIT FIRE AND SAVE THE MATCHES!

Tuck that into your arsenal of words- and whip it out when things get really bad. It just feels good to scream out- try it sometime.