So- considering how my blog is so intellectually deep and divinely insightful- I'm sure everyone reading it (both of you) is wondering what I use to inspire my brain to keep learning and growing.
You may find this surprising- what with how I am so current with worldly matters and knowledgeable with philosophical discussions. But yes- the TV is how I keep my brain sharp.
Excuse me- I must go remove an entire sheet of lightning mcqueen tattoos from my sofa................ okay- I'm back.
So here's my line up-
Sunday: Desperate Housewives. Oh how I love these woman. We laugh together, cry together, I can not wait for them to arrive in my living room every Sunday evening. And by every Sunday evening, I really mean one Sunday a month because there are all these stupid award shows and football games that are getting in the way constantly.
Monday: The Bachelor. I can't help it- I'm in deep. I think it is as petty and superficial as you all do to think that one man can meet 20 women and narrow it down to one- propose marriage- and live happily ever after in just 6 weeks while living in a mansion with cameras recording your every move. But dang it is like a train wreck and I just.can't.turn.away. The only thing that I would find more fascinating is if the cameras kept following them for like the next year so that we could see their 'real' reactions- like when they discover the 'love of their lives' doesn't always flush after using the restroom, or that they are allergic to milk, soy and wheat, or that they have to sleep with a fan on, you know- when the *magic* wears off. And- if you haven't been watching this season- you have missed some SERIOUS drama! It's been hysterical- girls sleeping with film crew, eliminations prior to rose ceremonies, girls calling and begging to come back- doesn't speak well for my declaration that I'm a Christian, but I still will watch it again next week- can't help it.
Tuesday: Biggest Looser. At 2 hours- this is a fairly long show to watch- but I keep thinking maybe I will get skinner while watching it. It's a commitment.
Thursday: Survivor. Oh yeah- it's back on. Again, can't help it. I just LOVE it. My idea for a future survivor- take a bunch of political officials and insanely rich folks, throw them out in the 'real' world with a minimum wage job, poorly running car, maxed out credit cards, a negative balance in their checkbook and a tooth ache (with no dental insurance). Like a real game of 'life'. Possible scenarios: 'Congratulations- you got a 2% cost of living raise- that's almost $.11 per hour- bad news is it threw you into a new tax bracket and now you make LESS than you did before' or 'Go find appropriate housing for $440 per month- $495 if you choose to forgo heating said housing' or 'Bad choice letting your car insurance lapse due to lack of funds- car accident and ticket set you back $693' or better yet 'Bummer- only $30 left this week for gas and groceries- helpful hint, ask the cashier to point you to the Ramen Noodle aisle'. I could go on for days- NBC Executives, just drop me a line and I'll plan out the entire season for you- it will be HYSTERICAL! Granted, I have never really tried to live on minimum wage- and although Dan and I are not rolling in it- we are a fairly comfortable family. Still- we use a lot of coupons, have to stick to a strict budget and car repairs generally give me knots in my stomach. Heck- it would even be funny to just give them our life for a while and see how it all pans out.
Grey's Anatomy. These people are amazing and I am knee deep in all their torrid affairs and constant messes. Much like Desperate Housewives- it goes completely against my moral fibers- but I can't give it up, not now. I just wish it wasn't so 'gross'- they could tone that down and I would be fine- not so much blood and guts.
ER. This show is long gone, I still miss it and I still wish it was one right after Grey's Anatomy. I wonder how Abby is doing?
Friday: Super Nanny. I don't catch it every week, not a show stopper for me. But I occasionally make the kids watch and and hope they pick up some behavioral tips. Because I'm a good parent.
Other shows I enjoy- but don't specifically plan my day around:
Pawn Stars- not porn stars you perverts. It's about a pawn store and all the crazy weird stuff people drag in to sell. Apparently you can either get a loan for an item, flat out sell the item, or leave with your item. I've always wondered how pawn stores work- I guess if you get a loan on your item and don't come back for it they sell it???? Still amusing to watch.
Lock Up. Totally wrong to watch a show about folks in prison- real live people- but for some odd reason I enjoy it. I have this strange curiosity about people in prison- how they think, feel and change- I can't help it.
American Pickers. These crazy guys travel around looking for old barns and yards full of crap and then talk folks into selling them their stuff for their antique store. Mom- you would love this show. History channel, I think.
Jon & Kate Plus 8. Granted, this show is no longer on the air, but I am still in mourning. I hated to see them let their marriage fall apart, and now I don't get to watch them anymore. The earlier shows- like before they got all rich and living in a mansion- gave me inspiration. If she could survive with 8 little ones, then I could certainly manage 3.
Now- perhaps you have noticed that every show I like to watch is (morally wrong)on at night. Also, know that if it doesn't start after 9:30 or so- I am required to record it for watching later. Because if my children are awake- the TV is nourishing their brains with some children thing. And when they are not being nourished, they don't let me sit down long enough to even pretend to watch a show. And, I'm embarrassed to admit, most of the shows I watch I wouldn't want the kids to see anyway. Which means I shouldn't watch them either. It is what it is.
So there you have it. THIS is why I am soooooo smart.