You can stop looking in your mailbox...........

In an effort to regain my sanity (yeah right) I have ‘let myself off the hook’ for sending Christmas cards this year. Partly this is due to my complete inability to plan for our family and manage my time- the other part is due to the lack of ability to get all 3 children dressed and together at the same time for a photo. Probably falls back on the planning and managing thing- but oh well.

So instead, I have chosen to post here what my Christmas note may have looked like, had I actually decided to prepare one for mailing. And based on it’s content and my less than pleasant disposition right now- it’s probably to everyone’s benefit that it not arrive in their joyfully adorned mailboxes.


Dear family and friends,

Another year is just about under our belts. With any luck at all we will ring in yet another new year in just a few short days. Bring on a brand new insurance deductible to meet!

As for an update from our family- here it is.

Sam- Sam has proven to be all boy. He has dang near destroyed everything we own in our house (including most of the Christmas tree ornaments) and is currently working on the items that belong to the girls. I can’t begin to explain what fills my heart when I hear the constant screaming and crying that is constantly coming from one of the girls based upon something this small boy child has done. He sits more in time out than I get to sit in a whole day. Good news is that at 3 ½ years old he did manage to finally potty train. And with the super freezing temperatures we are currently experiencing, he hardly ever heads out onto the deck to take a leak anymore either. Yeah for small miracles! He started preschool this year, and lucky for his teachers, he has somehow managed to refrain from his normal ‘home’ behavior. In fact they said that he was very social and doing remarkably well- I had them check to make sure they’d grabbed the right file. I’m glad that he does seem to love it there, although he typically describes the stuff they do as ‘stupid’ or ‘dumb’. Why do we try so hard to encourage these small beings to speak? Next thing is to strap any movable stool type objects in the house to the floor- as he is still a climber and has become super inventive as to how he reaches items above his head. On a lighter note, he only managed to bust his eye open twice this year- that’s less than a dozen stitches total! But with time still left in the year, we’ll just have to wait to see what happens.

Emily- Emily has begun Kindergarten this year. She loves it, her teacher, the bus ride and everything about the entire experience. Except the fact that they don’t feed her while she’s there- she’s still kind of bitter about that one. Thanks to her early twenties, super thin and enormously trendy teacher (who Emily ADORES), she has come to the conclusion that her mommy is puffy- unlike her teacher. Yeah, thanks for that one. Couldn’t she have gotten an old ratchety fat teacher? At least I’d still look young and hip in comparison to that. She, being an elementary kid now, has joined Girl Scouts and another club at school. She seems to love it, she is so social, but I really think it’s because they serve snacks at both.

Allyson- Allyson is in her fourth grade year, the last at the elementary school. Her hormones are running amok and basically causing her to either love or hate us- all the time. No happy medium. I can hardly wait until she ‘blossoms’, she’s such a joy all the time already- what with all the anger and yelling and all! She is still in piano- but now thinks of it as more of a prison sentence. I can’t begin to tell you how many tearful screaming matches we’ve had over the old ivory keys. Good times. But- on a happier note- she only managed to break 1 bone this year! Her foot- while jump roping in gym class. Who knew? That landed her in a cast for a few weeks- but fingers crossed- it was our only visit with the orthopedic doctor this year. She was on a basketball team for the first time this year- but the whole broken foot thing landed her on the bench for most of the season. Better luck next year. She is taking more responsibilities at home- and although still lazy and unmotivated enough to pay me a quarter a day for not making her bed, she is now earning her keep by doing the dishes. Not joyfully, but at least I’m getting some help in the kitchen.

Dan- still working at UPS. I hear he is doing well. Based on the fact that we are rarely in the same place together at the same time I will have to take other peoples word for that. These kids and our crazy life keep us running, mostly in opposite directions. But based on the fact that I still find his laundry in the basket to wash- I do know that he is still around.

Me- still working part time for the air show. Running around like a complete idiot trying to keep up with three children and a husband- and failing miserably at it. I’m not even sure I’ve had a haircut this year. Most days I feel like I am loosing my ever loving mind, but there is just not time to admit myself to the psych ward. And much to my dismay, the gallbladder I had to have removed did not weigh 50 pounds- so I am still suckin’ on the whole weight loss issue as well. Looks like I’ll have to lap off a leg if I want to see the scale go down.

Our family- We still have Lew, our severly overweight beagle. And we had added two guinea pigs to the mix as well. What a mess of hair and poop we have going on over here! For a while I thought Dan has surprised me with carpet for the living area- turns out it was just an enourmous collection of hairballs. Oh well. But whatever. They are neat to have and the girls love them. And Sam learned last week that trying to load the guinea pig cage onto his dump truck was not one of his better ideas. Once we got the pig out from under the bed, we had a long talk about that (while I cleaned up the cage that got dumped all over the carpeting). Why even today, the little child was feeding one of the pigs a peacock feather- he sure does enjoy having them around!

Oh- and we have a fish. Whoever said that carnival fish don’t live for long was sorely mistaken.

So there it is. We are a mess. Our house is a mess. Our laundry is a mess. Our schedule is a mess. And basically I know all the employees at our local grocery by name, because I am there all.the.time. But our home is full. And our hearts are turned toward the Lord. So all is right in our world, and most days, we feel so very incredibly blessed. And apparently feeling blessed means you feel like a complete nut job.