Back to school shopping...........

Okay, okay, just for the record, of course I knew this day was coming.

After all, registration day has been on the calendar for several months now. And as always, I know we get 'the list' during this process. This year, we got two of 'the lists'- one for ally and one for emi. I knew it was going to happen, I just wasn't prepared for all the wrath I suppose.

First- I try and read through this ginormous list and make sense out of the 328 items that are required of us. While driving. And while trying to quiet the arguing and fighting going on among the three chitlins.

Second- We pull up to Target and begin to devise a plan. I clarify what we are and are not going to purchase (no clothes, maybe shoes, possibly a backback, definitely all items on 'list'). We file out to the store.

Third- Try to find exact items on 'list' while not letting Sam demolish the entire back to school section and explaining to emily why she doesn't need index cards and sharpies. All the while, reading packages trying to find 'low odor' dry erase markers and clear rulers with 16th of an inch and centimeters clearly identified.

I swear to you- somewhere there is a group of teachers (probably hiding behind one way glass in the back to school section) laughing their ever loving heads off. "Did you see that I specified a brand of scissors- ha! Look at that lady trying to find them while her toddler is ripping her clothes off her back". "I can beat that- I put white erasers on my list- check out that dumb fool scouring the store for something that doesn't even exist". Yeah, I bet they get a good laugh out of that 'list' they put together for us.

And the back pack section, I might add, is for the birds. Why why why are there 4,836 choices? How on earth are we supposed to decipher through all this crap and then make that kind of a decision? Hannah Montana or Hello Kitty or butterflies or hearts or frogs or Princesses?????? And how could it be possible that the one they settle on is $30????? We all know it is going to disintegrate in just a few short weeks- how could it possibly be $30? Why can't there just be one backpack in 7 colors, each for $15 or less each? Wouldn't the world be a cozier place filled with hearts and rainbows if this one item could just be simplified? We already made it through the 800 choices of highlighters, we've measured our art boxes, we've scoured through brands and survived the entire mayhem of pocket folders. Why must we now muster through this mess?

I won't even go into the shoe shopping. I don't have the strength.

I added and item to the school list- whiskey. I should have partaken of it prior to our outing.