This baby corners like it's on rails...........

Name that move.

My husband decided it was time to replace his 250,000 mile Honda Odyssey.  And being as he drives a good clip to work everyday, it made sense to me.  Afterall, I am not a fan of dragging my heiny out of bed at the crack of dawn to rescue him if stranded with a broken car somewhere.  I'm all for being supportive, but that just crosses the line.  So before we had to experience that mess, Dan hit the car lots.

We do lots of things together, but car shopping is certainly not one of them.  Dan knows our budget, our need, and he even knows my desires.  I trust him to make the best decision for our family.  And I HATE car shopping.  Talk about painful.  And doing that with someone who LOVES it and can simultaneously rattle off every car for sale in the whole city and it's mileage and price and salesmans phone number- too much for me.

Yesterday- Dan made his selection.  And it is a real doozy.......

I thought my days of owning anything cool were over.  But check us out!

Over 30 miles to the gallon, right in our totally cheap price range, AND A CONVERTIBLE!

Let me tell you- I can think of nothing cooler than an overweight, teetering toward middle aged woman squeeling around town in a bright orange beetle bug convertible beating her hair out of her face.
Except when the wind got really going and started blowing candy wrappers and maxi pads out of my purse.
I certainly hope Dan maintains my ultracool image when he takes it away from me.

Teetering on obsession

So, we have decided not to go to the happiest place on earth this month.  Which is a relief to me.  With all this craziness that is our lives swirling around us, I'm just not prepared to be that happy in less than two weeks- if you know what I'm sayin.

Even if we did manage to get our selves put together enough to make that kind of a vacation a reality in the next 9 days, I know I would not enjoy one single ounce of it because I would be a basket case worrying about something happening with Dan's parents back here.  So we are going to postpone Orlando- and instead we are going to sneak away for a couple quiet days a few hours from our home.

We've discussed big cities, quiet wooded areas, indoor water park hotels, familiar places, not so familiar places.  Google has been my friend.

I thought I had found it.  It looked perfect on the tiny screen above my keyboard, no more than 6 hours in driving time, lots and lots of fun stuff to do plus I have always been intrigued.  And then it happened.  Somehow I got to a customer review page and right there in front of my face was my worst night mare.

Bed Bugs.

This lady claims she found them there.  At this beautiful resort type place that I was already in love with.

Which got me to worrying about going anywhere.  Did you know that there are bed bug tracking sites?  There are.  Tons of them.  Some track apartments. Some track just hotels.  Let me tell you- folks are finding them in hotels.  They see them on the sheets, the walls, under the mattress, and some just 'wake up' in the night with them on their legs.  They talk of bringing them home in their luggage and clothes.  And these are not low life, bad area of town places.  They are the upscale ones too.  They are the middle of the road, the kind of nice, the 'sale' hotels as well.  I'm dying.  I am terrified, absolutely terrified of two things- lice and bed bugs.

Thanks to one of my glorious children, I have experieced lice.  And they were every bit the party I thought they would be. And here, at least a whole year later, I still check their heads every day.  And my head itches non stop (and now yours is too)- and has for over a year.  And there are still stuffed animals and blankets tied up in trash bags in my attic for fear that one 'might' still be alive in there. They almost killed me.  I'm not joking.

But bed bugs?  Dude- I'm not sure I could live through it.  And the thought of looking at the underneath side of a hotel mattress?  That creeps me out almost as much.  I can not stand the thought of tiny bugs in our beds.  I check the seams of our mattresses constantly.  I'm not sure what I'm looking for- but I totally look.  As I kiss the kids goodnight, I pull back their sheet and mattress pads and I look. 

I'm not sure I'm strong enough, tired enough or excited enough to try and make this work.  Perhaps camping would be a better choice for us?  At least I wouldn't have the check the plastic air mattresses.

The keeper of the ducks

Dear school office ladies,

The kids have been telling me about this super fun program you have going at the school.  Kids caught acting with good behavior are rewarded with a slip for a chance to have their names drawn at the end of the day to win the coveted rubber duck.  Genius.  Not only are you encouraging good behavior and a reward for doing so- they are learning life skill of understanding and patience as they wait to see if their name gets drawn.

Day. after day. after day. after mother lovin' day.

See- some kids have been earning these slips on a very regular basis.  All year long.  Almost every week.  Perhaps more than one per week.  And yet- no duck.  Slip in, drum roll please, no name called.  Better luck next time.

This week- Sam has earned not one but two of these slips. He's not one to hold a lot of esteem in your rubber duck prize, but he did have a shining proud moment as he showed it to me after school.  Today- when you drew his name FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK, he gave it to a buddy who was devastated he didn't win.  I say score one for Sam for having some sympathy for a friend.  Go Sam.

Meanwhile- my other child in your school- she's one of the slip(s) a week club.  Yet her name has never been drawn.  Ever.  And don't think she hasn't noticed- she was about to come unglued when you called her little brothers name for the SECOND time this week- which is totally not fair in second grade rules by the way.

So my question today is this- who do I have to bribe to pull the 'right' slip next time, if you catch my drift?  I've been reading your wish lists, your want list, your please can you give us some lists.  I can make your hand sanitizer dreams come true.  I can fulfill your wildest Kleenex dreams.  I can make your necessity for post it notes a thing of the past.  If you can just, PLEASE, call that child's name.

Yeah Yeah I know that it teaches her nothing about the luck of the draw, being a good looser, blah blah blah.  But really, I would just love to see her win the damn duck.

Hook a sister up, would ya.

Love,
Your favorite 'guess who brought in homemade muffins for the staff' mother

Things I learned yesterday

With Dan's dad being so ill- we make lots of trips back and forth to their home.  Which is an hour away.  Which calculates to a whole lotta gas. But that is not the point here.

 For the past three weeks, we've had one or another child ill, so I have been the one staying home with the sick kid while Dan packs it back and forth with whoever is healthy.

Yesterday- I declared a girls trip and me and the girls took off after school while the boys headed to the theater to see the new Star Wars movie (sam was so giddy I thought he was going to explode).  I have never felt so blessed.  Emily is generally a chatty girl and she even enjoys and looks forward to a daily study we are doing as well as an occasional trip to the grocery or where ever with me.  But Allyson?  She doesn't openly offer any kind of information with me most of the time.  And I miss her so much.  But yesterday in the car- wow it was awesome! 

Here are the things I learned on the trip to and from Richmond yesterday:
• Tyler refused to move to a quarantine spot during lunch and the principal had to come and 'encourage' him.
• The reed for her saxophone is too stiff and it is making her play weird.
• Her big school trip to Cincinnati is also the same day as the St. Patricks Day parade and she won't be able to go with us.  Boo.
• A basketball mom made player signs for each of the girls lockers that include their name and number.
• The wind was so strong on the playground this week that the mulch was pummelling Emilys legs.
• If you are late to Mr. Stricklands class, you have to write the entire alphabet 5 times (upper and lower case) before he will let you into class.  Allyson has had to do this.
• We thought Emily had somehow become a super math genius and I was silently kicking myself for not knowing how advanced her teacher is taking them in class- until we discovered she was using the calculator app on my phone.  Then we were relieved.
• Allyson's favorite conversation heart color is blue.  And they really do taste different than the rest.
• The girls are both worried about their cousin who is joining the military next month.  And so am I.
• Emily brought a jolly rancher sucker as her thing to 'do' on the drive.  One sucker can last an entire hour we learned, and eventually looks like a little leaf when it is all whittled down.
• Yesterday was a quiet lunch at the middle school.  They weren't even allowed to burp.
• One of Allyson's friends kidnapped her sketch book and drew a really bad picture of a toilet in it.
• Words with Friends does not recognize ROSEY as a word, even though it is on the schools website every week whenever they have applesauce.  I'm with Emily, we were robbed.
• One of the classes were not quiet during ISTEP this week and they had to write a sentence about being respectful during a test 100 times.  Allyson was not in that class.
• Mr. Day had Allyson show him her sketch in front of the entire band class.
• Allyson is pondering how we know that God is real. 
• Emily's teacher is planning a special party for the kids who have had perfect behavior cards this year.
• Jamal and Allyson are no longer going out.  Not that they ever went anywhere, that is just what 'it' is called now- you know, when you 'go' with someone.
• I am so blessed to be the mother to these two fabulous young women, I will never tire of talking to them.

Someones always screaming "MOM!"

One morning this week- Sam woke up just as we all did.  He wanted to take a bath in my bathtub- deal.

I started the water, added a little bubble soap and left him to do his thing while I went about the regular morning stuff.

Made sure the girls were out of bed.

Pick up 347 pieces of clothing from their floor.

Deposit into laundry basket.

Ponder world peace and why it is so hard for my girls to just do that laundry thing themselves.

Pass the laundry room- put the washer stuff into the dryer and feed the dog.

Start coffee brewing.

Sam screams "mom"- I respond "hang on".

Hang up jackets on actual jacket hooks.

Shake head mercilessly as I trip over a mountain of shoes.

Sam screams "mom"- I respond "in a minute".

Head to living room to let out the dog.

Put away Wii remotes.

Gather library books and put them by the door. Wonder how much the late fees will be this time.

Sam screams "mom"- I loose my patience and scream back "For crying out loud!!!"

and head back to see what on earth could be so urgent.......

Sweet Mother of Pearl- the bubbles were so huge they were practically spilling over the sides of the tub.

"I tried to tell you" he says.

Check Mate my sweet blonde boy. 

Fire in the BRIDGE!

I don't mean to alarm you, but my computer crashed.  CRASHED.  Today I am coming to you live from my laptop.  The one with the sensitive mouse pad thing and my not favorite clickity clickity keyboard.  It's not my favorite for writing on- that is for certain.  But I am glad that it is at least functional, which is a step ahead of the desktop.

The biggest problem is that my coupon savings tracker spreadsheet is on the computer, as well as a tracking document for our taxes.  Oh- and all of our photographs from the last 10 years. OH.MY.FREAKING.HEAVENS! 

Not kidding, my heart is kind of hurting.  Why oh why oh why didn't I just stick with a 35MM and have paper photos clogging up my entire house?  Why oh why oh why didn't I back them up religiously to snapfish?  Why oh why oh why didn't I just use those little plastic card things as photo storage instead of cleaning them off each time and reusing them?

My husband disassembled our old computer and has 'something'  in a little plastic baggie.  He says he can recover them.  We'll see.

Until then, I guess I am stuck with the sample pictures that are on this laptop.............

I don't know- it kind of looks like Sam.  Perhaps I can make these work.

In addition, I have lost all of the blogs that I read.  Each morning, some folk waste their time watching world breaking news, I on the other hand catch up on all my virtual friends business.  It's what I would call my 'hobby'.  I enjoy it, it is the one thing I do every day that is frivilous and all MINE.  Except now I am kind of lost because I can't remember all of the ones, or their names, that I have read.  UHG.
I guess if I can't remember them, then they weren't one of my favorites.  I'm still grieving though.

I told my mom about my computer.  And all my photos.  And you know what she said?  Oh no- not your blog!  I'm just not sure she will ever grasp how that new fangled internets thing works (smile mom- we are laughing with you).

Weighing the options

We are going on vacation this month.  Well, it's scheduled anyway.  With the constant health of Dan's dad looming overhead- we typically keep our schedules very fluid depending on how many trips to their home we will make a week and how his health is holding up.  Whether or not we will get to actually go on this vacation is still undecided.

But lets say we get to actually go.

We are going to Orlando.

Home of the happiest place on earth, the worlds largest McDonalds and a store with a build your own Mr. Potato Head (my personal favorite).  There is room service, beautiful pools, water slides, breakfast with Mickey.  I am excited to take the kids to experience all of that, at a time when they will actually remember.

But three great big things stand in our way.  Kentucky.  Tennessee.  And Georgia (the state that NEVER ends).

Last time we drove for more than 6-8 hoursish, I declared that I would never, EVER, drive that far again.  If we ever went back to Orlando- we were flying.  And I meant it.

And then last Fall Dan booked this fancy trip for us.  And I reminded him at that time that we were flying.

He didn't respond.

This morning I realized that our trip is less than a month away and OH.MY.GOSH. we better be getting our plans made.

So I did a multi website search for airfare.  $684.  Each.     Thats $3420.  I'm not sure what land you all live in, but in my world that is well over the budget for the entire vacation.

But I swore.

But I am also cheap frugal.

It is 973 miles from my front door to Mickeys.  14.96 hours if we drive 65mph without any stops.  Even at stop signs. 10.24 hours if we drive 95mph.  Still too long.

Perhaps it's been a while since you have traveled for hours on end in the car filled with children.  Let me refresh your memory.

There is whining.  And not just me.  All of us.  Dan is driving- so he tunes everything out so that he can 'focus'.  Which is interesting because when it's my turn to drive- he tunes everything out so that he can sleep.  Total crap man.

Ahem.  Back to the refreshment.

First, they fight over who gets to pick the first movie.  And then there is complaining over what they picked.  Then it's too loud.  Then it's not loud enough.  Then there is complaining about why they can't just use the headphones.  Then no one can find the headphones.  The batteries are dead.  Then I spend 20 minutes with my rear end in the dash trying to find the bag with the batteries in it.  Then they don't want to use them anyway.  Then Dan wants his radio station.  But he can't because they have the movie in without headphones.  Then someone wants a snack.  Then they spill it. Then they decide to color but someone has the only black crayon and clearly their world is melting.  Then someone has to pee.  We are still in Indianapolis.

It's not a fun unicorn balloon party by any means.

Granted.  Things have gotten way easier than traveling with toddlers and babies.  Much easier.  So much so that I am actually considering driving to the sun this month.    973 miles, 21 mpg, 46.3 gallons of gas to get us there.  $185 each way.

How can you argue with that kind of math? Even if you add in a hotel stay half way- we are under $400 to get all of us there.

Last time we drove to Florida, we decided to drive through the night and let the kids sleep.  Which sounded like a great plan.  Dan took the first driving turn.  It was daylight, and we were excited.  I couldn't rest.  Then my turn.  Peachy.  Dan's turn- getting late, kids drift off to sleep. My turn.  Which lasts for the next 8 hours. 

Dan couldn't wake back up.  Occassionally he would pop up with his eyes rolling around in his head and mumble about it being his turn- but seriously?  Who could go to sleep with someone like THAT driving?  He would have dozed off and killed us all.  Long story longer, we arrive at our destination at 9am.  8am their time.  I roll up to the hotel like a woman who just finished a marathon- proud of myself for getting us there! Only problem, check is not until 4pm.  The kids are rested and ready to hit the beach.  I am so tired and crabby I could have died.  And neither Dan or myself made a plan for the next 8 hours of what to do when we can't change clothes, find our swim suits, or rest.

Should we choose that route this time- we need a better plan.  MUCH better.

$370 driving or $3420 flying.  I'm still debating which is the better value.