Pick your spouse wisely, young folk

For years I have teased Dan that I should have married a dentist.  And last week- when I broke yet ANOTHER tooth, I was singing that same song again.    Until this morning.

Now I'm wishing I would have married a website designer.  Because I have no idea what I am doing.  At all.  The fact that I have been able to maintain this sorry little blog AND change the background from the original white is a miracle.  That- and the purpose of blogger I suppose.  They make it kind of easy.  Do I wish for my very own website that is all mine where I can post electronic sequins and glitter?  Sure.  Do I have any idea how to do that?  Negatory good buddy.

Why just yesterday I went all techno and added that fancy schmancy 'like' button and threw around the term viral like I knew what the heck I was doing.  And BAM!- it was completely wrong.  So now- it looks like a few of you may have actually pressed that 'like' button like I was begging you to and it didn't really make you 'like' my page at all.  But I'm sure you liked something- I just don't know what. 

In fact- I'm not even sure if my adjustments will fix the dag gone problem.  But I'm trying.  Work with me here people.  If you could be so kind, if you want to, to press that-----------> like button again, we'll see what happens this time.

Thanks for the heads up halala mama.  Can I hire you to be my tech support? And by hire, I mean just basically trade a glass of wine and some gluten free cake mixes for hours on end of your time, just so we're clear.

I've gone viral

See that?  Over there? --------------------------------------------------->
Okay- actually look up a little.  No- not that high, a little lower.  Right there- the 'like'- see it?
My blog has a facebook.
oh.yes.it.does.

For months I have been 'liking' blogs I love to read on facebook, and then when they post an exciting update or earth shattering story- it pops up right on my facebook wall to let me know to get over and read it.

And now I'm joining them.  With the exception of exciting updates or earth shattering stories. 

I'm nervous because I'm afraid I'll end up with 3 likers.  Me, my husband (only because I hacked into his facebook and liked it behind his back) and my mom.  And possibly not even my mom.  Here goes- I'm jumping in.  Please like me.

On another note- who coined the phrase 'going viral' anyway?  Because they could have totally picked a catchier phrase.  This reminds me of going postal, viral illnesses that your doctor can't even help you with and a possible virus detected on my computer.  How could going viral be good?  But it is.  At least that's what I've been told.

Cupcake Wars and bags of melting frozen veggies

I have to admit.  It has been kind of awesome being restricted to the house with my surgery patient.  There have been no places to run during the day, no work (at the office anyway), and Emily being who she is has even requested my presence with her when watching afternoon movies- which has meant nap time almost every day.  However, trying to keep track of her medicines-the times issued- how much has she drank- when is her antibiotic due (plus the whole recently pierced ears cleanings) are a bit taxing, so that naps are a necessity.  That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

I'm also the keeper of the frozen vegetable bag rotation- which is a BIG responsibility (dang I wish I would have grabbed that ice collar from the hospital!)

When I'm not slinging narcotics, freshening frozen bags, fluffing pillows and cleaning ears- me and emily have been watching lots of episodes of Cupcake Wars.

Lots of cupcake wars.

And yesterday- when I found myself going a bit stircrazy, I decided to act out an episode right here in my very own home.

Of course, I was out of boxed cake mixes, but since I am a world class baker and own my own cupcake shop I got out my recipe book and looked one up.

And then I apparently forgot to put all of the ingredients in because what was supposed to make 30 cupcakes made 17 and they didn't rise.

I mean at all.

And they were very heavy, but moist.  And a bit salty.

Fortunately the portion of the show we were in was the decoration part, so it didn't matter.

 Emily and Sam were my 'team'.

 As they carefully peeled up the decorations I'd piped out of chocolate to stick on the top of the cupcakes- I was behind them screaming '30 seconds, load load load!'  They really appreciated it.

 I homemade the butter creme frosting and then, contrary to my normal action of either slapping it on with a butter knife or using a ziplock bag to pipe it on, I got out an actual pastry bag and piping tip and worked my magic.  And by magic I mean I put icing on them.

 I could hear that one older guy saying in his accent 'Zee decorations are very nice but zee keek is, how you say, odd.'  But the third guest judge, she really liked them.

Yesterday was the 100th day of school.  Emily was totally bummed that she didn't get to go.  Truth is, it would have only been her 84th anyway with all her sick days last semester. (See the browned areas around only a few of the cupcakes- it was really chewy and kind of crunchy- truth be told I kind of liked it.  Wonder if I can remember what I left out of the recipe and do it again???)

I bet you are wondering who won.  We did, of course. 

Today I think we will reinact a Hoarders show and clean out some of these cabinets.

6th Birthdays.............the untold stories

The thing I think I enjoy the most about birthdays around our house is seeing how excited each of the kids gets for the others birthday.  It really warms my heart.

I mean- 362 other days of the year I hear about how awful it is to share a room, how someone took somebody elses something or other, how someones feet are on their arm rest, how someone lost my whatever it was, fight bicker bicker fight.

 But on a birthday?  Happiness.  This year about a week before Sam's birthday emily had some cold hard cash and was planning to spend every drop of it at Target.  She had already made her selections when we went to peruse the Christmas clearance.  All at once she began taking her selections out of the cart and asking me if I had enough 'extra' money to cover tax on something she wanted to buy.  What she wanted to buy was a nutcracker for her brothers birthday.  I could have melted right there in the store.

 Sam has a thing about nutcrackers- he LOVES them.  Always has.  I have no idea why, but I think it might have to do with most of them carrying a weapon of some sort- but I could be wrong. And Emily knows her brother.  She came right home, wrapped it in tissue paper, poked it into a box and covered it with candy corn wrapping paper.  And for over a week she had a glow about her in anticipation of presenting her perfectly selected treasure.  And she was right- he loved it.

 Just a day or two before his big day, Allyson disappeared to her room for several hours.  I would have assumed she was back there being angry that I wouldn't let her have friends over/go to a friends house.  But what she was really doing was carefully sketching out and coloring with oil pastels what would become her gift for Sam.

 Here he is after unwrapping it.  He was such a blessed young man to have received such a beautiful piece of art from the biggest sister he'll ever have.

 The morning of his birthday we surprised him with balloons all over his floor.  Dan and Emily hid in my bedroom the night before and carefully inflated two laundry baskets full of them and after everyone was asleep, I snuck in and spread them out.

 And early the next morning we were awoken to pounding on the floor and an occasional *POP* as Rosie discovered the delicate balance that is necessitated when one tries to play with a balloon.

Honestly it was adorable.  And Sam, Emily and Allyson had so much fun watching Rosie play with the balloons that they didn't even care when she popped them all.

Most days this life I am living feels like we're stuck in a tornado.  Chaos, work, activities, school, homework, church stuff............we are just a flurry of scrambling around.  But I am grateful for the fun days that come along the way.  Sam's big day was certainly one of them.

3 Bedroom/2Bath home for rent- SUPER

The super bowl is coming to town.  Yay Rah.

I have said from the beginning that I want to be NO WHERE near here when it arrives.  I am not one for crowds or crowdiness or traffic- so my plan is to either hole in and lock the doors or head out for a few days.  And then I heard about people who are renting their houses for several thousand dollars PER DAY during the event.  (Most of them require a 5 day minimum.)  Which obviously got me thinking about renting out our home.  I'm working on the ad- but here's what I have so far.

Enchanting Country Chalet- 3 bedrooms, 2 baths

See how I underlined the title and changed cute to enchanting- my marketing studies are totally paying off

Cast your worries aside in this beautifully furnished home located within walking distance of Lucas Oil Stadium (bring some really comfortable shoes- and be sure to head out 2 hours in advance of whatever time you want to be downtown).  A charming ranch style home in a quaint suburb of Indianapolis will make you feel right at home, as long as you live in a middle class ranch home in need of a paint job and a good cleaning with mediocre furnishings and broken handled kitchen pots. 

Two full baths and a furnished kitchen (eggs included)(maybe) will make your stay comfortable.  Although we would prefer you not use our shower in the master bath as that kind of creeps me out a bit- but help yourself to the kids tub/shower combo, they could care less.  You will rest in 5 star elegance comfortably in your choice of 1 King Size Bed, 1 Full Size Bed (yes our son has occassionally peed it but we will wash the sheets and mattress pad, no worries), or 2 twin bunk beds (only one person on the top bunk as they are kind of rickety unstable charming).  Indulge in the built in entertainment you will enjoy with 2 television sets and our pet guinea pig.  Tranquil fish tank will also provide for rest and relaxation.  Please- no bed bugs or head lice, inspection upon check in.  And don't brew anything other than coffee in my coffee pot. 

*Heated indoor pool. Indoor parking (as long as you only open your drivers side door a little bit as to not knock over the bicycles- which you are NOT to be riding).  Daily maid service provided (by me of course because I want to make sure you aren't messing up our house). 

Handsoap, toilet paper and overly bleached linens provided free of charge.

*closed for maintenance- better luck next time

Dan is worried that they would steal our stuff.  To which I said, what stuff?  I mean seriously- most of what we have is pretty used and abused, I'm wondering who would want it.  We have not any flat screen tv's, the vcr is broken, our linens are not from any luxurious foreign countries and my shoes are not italian.  What does that leave, our dishsoap?  For $2000 a night they can have it.  I'm also thinking that for that kind of cash we just throw out all the mattresses, sheets and pillows when the weekend is over and buy new- which opens up a whole new market to the headlice and bedbug crowd. 

Besides- anything that we would have concern over someone possibly taking/using/laughing at us about we could lock up in our bedroom closet.  And for extra security we would take the bobby pin that we use to open the lock with us..........secure like a steal trap.

I would obviously not include pictures of the tranquil fish tank as it's actually just about a gallon fish bowl in the kitchen.  And although I have seriously contemplated indoor photos- they might work to our disadvantage. In review of my original ad, sticky and live like a local seem like good descriptions to me- I've decided against them. Great for Corporate Entertainment seems to be a common theme among the other homes offered for rent- I might throw that in there too, afterall we do have a breakfast bar.

I'm not positive, but I'm thinking at a briefly discounted rate from the "Downtown Indy newly renovated Upscale Townhouse", plus the free toilet paper (which I have not seen in ANY of the other house ads) we just might be in the bed and breakfast business.

Another Birthday gift.............surgery (surprise!)

Emily is having her Tonsils and Adnoids removed in the morning (see that large pink thing on the right up there........it is NEVER any smaller than that- even when she is healthy).  After several years of battling strep throat, tonsilitus, and constant colds and ear infections- the end is in sight.  Our doctor has been saying for over a year that if they would just take out her tonsils, she would get healthy and we would go back to 'normal' doctor visits- which are apparently not dang near every single week.  The ENT, stars and moon, as well as all good karma in the universe aligned last week and BAM! tomorrow there is an operating room with Miss Emi's name on it.

The hospital called this afternoon to pre-register her.  I was at my moms house.  Dan answered the phone.
He called me to ask the name of her medication.  And if her immunizations were up to date.  And to confirm that she has had a fractured wrist (which she has not).  Here's hoping he registered the right child.

My stomach hurts.  Although this is what we 'wanted', and it is a 'routine procedure', and our surgeon has done tons of them (I'm reasonably sure- at least his MD certificate didn't look like a photocopy),- momma's worry.  And so do little girls.  And mommas worry about worrying little girls.  I'll be glad when this is over.

Is it HOT in here?

So, you remember when we took the stray dog into our home this past Fall, right?  And being a stray and all we were unsure of her age, imminuzations, and basically everything else that you are supposed to know about your pet.  Including her nether regions- if you know what I'm saying.

Even the vet was unsure because she could feel a scar in her belly.  She said we would just wait and see if she went into heat.  Or slice her open and take a looksy.  We chose the first option.

And then 'we' completely forgot about it.

Friday I sent the dog to a friends house for Emilys sleep over.  She's too unpredictible with running screaming kids.  And she loves our friends dog.  So it was a win win.  Until my friend began finding drops of blood.

See- she was confused as to if she had 'become a woman' or if she'd hurt her paw because she could see blood on her nails.  Which wasn't really blood- that was fingernail polish- duh.    My friend can be so silly and unappreciative of a good canine manicure.

Turns out Rosie has gotten her gift. And she is not happy about it.

 Here she is in her brand spankin new pair of "Flashy Pants".  These she was able to escape out of in 3.2 seconds all 12 times.  Plus having to chase her down and hold her in between my knees to tie the sides created a bit of an inconvenience for me.  So we decided to pick another route.

 Childrens underwear.  We started with a nice pair of Emilys purple gingham but they were a tad large.  So we had to try Sam's of course.  The funnest part I think was listening to Dan try and fish her tail through the pee pee hole.  Lord help me that was hysterical.  Turns out she wasn't a fan of having her tail bent and twisted- so I just cut a hole.  Sam has pointed out that he is not wearing them again- I keep saying it's just a little hole and it might come in handy should he grow a tail.  Sheesh- such a baby.

 Being the escape artist that she is- she could shake off those batmans too.  So I turned to girls hosiery- which is fitting the bill just fine.  Rosie is so not happy.  So.Not.Happy.  Plus I keep getting the pads stuck to her fur which makes her walk funny- I really am trying not to but it's dang near impossible to properly attach pads with wings to a four legged animal while chasing them around the living room.  I keep inquiring as to doggie tampons- but apparently there are no such items.  Not that I would be brave enough to try THAT either.

Basically I think she is just humiliated. My poor Rosie Rose, who is on the verge of having every male dog in the neighborhood come unglued.  I'm thinking she is embarrassed by her newfound womanly present.  And her underwear.  It's the best we've got girl, until I can get my patent for doggie flashy pants with suspenders- this is all we've got.

On another note- when I called Dan at work on Saturday to tell him our dog had gone into freakin' heat (yes- I called him at WORK to tell him this) he promptly replied "No she didn't".  I quickly told him that she absolutely did.  To which he replied if she was in heat she would be swollen.  I found myself looking around to see if he was here- like looking through a window or something.  I'm no dog who-ha expert, like he apparently is, but I'm pretty sure I know what a dog in heat looks like- which isn't pretty let me tell you.  At least I think I do, since this is the first time and all.  At least I know a good doggie pedicure when I see one.