Six months, almost to the day. This little man at just 10 years old has permanently become a part of our family that will forever be missed.
He came in with just a bag of stuff and a giant attitude. Like a chip on his shoulder you could see a mile away. His story is his and he keeps it tucked safely away, only snips and tiny pieces coming out here and there in conversation. Guarded and protected.
Whatever circumstances landed him here in our home, in foster care, carved him into the young man he is. Complicated, funny, defiant, loving, hurting......hardened. But amazing. Just soft enough to let a belly laugh out every now and again and to surprise me with the sweetest words in the middle of a sea of hurtful ones.
I didn't see the end coming. We are a home that stands in the gap for kids while they wait on their parents to do or finish whatever it is that DCS asks they do. We just love in the mean time. And his launching time was no where in sight just yet. He was as folded into our daily lives as any of us are. But things happen when hearts are as volatile as spring weather and before I knew it I was loading his things into bags.
Marbles. Pokémon cards. Plastic toys and drawings and cards and...........six months worth of life. With no time to discuss or prepare or plan, we were loading him into his case workers car with his next place still unknown. And my heart is aching. Hurting. Grieving.
This is not the plan I had for this little man, or our family, or this chapter of our life story. And it hurts like no pain I have ever experienced in my whole life. Every part of our home is screaming out his absence. I wish that somehow we could have served him better, made it to the end, not had to surrender him to another home.
Please Jesus carry this young man and keep our lives interwoven. Please don't let all of this have been for nothing.
Good bye sweet boy- I will forever be in prayer for you.