You never go 'back'

"Hows the quiet?"

"Are you enjoying some rest?"

"Bet your kids are glad to have their rooms back?"

As quickly as we became a household of 10, we have shrunk back to just us 5.

Yep.  Just like that, the judge saw this woman and her children and their healing path they have walked and the checklist of crossed off goals and she ordered the kiddos home.

Home.

Amazing how God has so changed what that could be in my mind.

I have have the amazing honor of walking this path next to this woman as I have provided a 'home' for her kiddos.  This woman who is strong, and weak.  Who is whole, but broken.  Who has been so surrounded by love, but alone.  Her 'home' scattered across the place while she tried desperately to seek out what it was and what it could be.

And that home for her kiddos?  Man I will never forget the way God wove all of those huge and tiny details together.  The hands that rang my door bell with hot meals, toilet paper, hand soap, toothbrushes.....  The texts of love and encouragement.  The calls of concern and help.  The unbelievable love poured out for each and every single one of us.......all 10 of us- breathtaking.

And here we are, crossing the finish line of sorts. The one that God has carried my family to.  But truly this is just the beginning of the big journey for this beautiful woman and her sweet five kids.  Now they begin the hard race.  The one where they try to make sense of the complete chaos that has enveloped them for almost a year.  An entire huge long year.  And God will do it, I just know He will.  And someday we will look back to this time in complete and sheer amazement at how He orchestrated it all.

And yet I do feel a release.  An excitement of sorts that we made it.  We Made It.  WE MADE IT.

Man there were days that I wanted to throw in the towel.  It was all too much.  Too many needs.  Too much anger from people who couldn't receive my love.  Too much confusion from kids who didn't want life to look different.  Too many people for a small space designed for less but adequately accommodating us all.

A broken doorbell.  A shattered TV.  Nail polish stained carpet and bathroom counters.  A mysteriously dented garage door.  A worn out washing machine.  Stained walls from taped posters and pictures.  Hearts forever missing a piece of what once was a part of our home.  We will never be the same.  Thanking Jesus today for the honor of holding these kids until their momma could.  Looking anxiously to the future of who might join us next.