Survival of the fittest

Last year, my family started a new tradition.  It involves sweating, eating cold meat sandwiches, swimming in a lake and random chit chat.  Welcome family camping trip 2011!

Truth is, they NEED me on this trip.  Who else would kill and clean their dinner?  I mean, this is primitive every man for yourself kind of living.  For three whole days. Do or die. They will totally be depending on my wild life survival skills.  It's tough being the provider for this many people man.

I just hope that our spots are somewhere near the bath house.  I'm a middle of the night pee'er and there isn't much worse than trucking across blocks of dark pavement running and crossing your legs to get to the facilities.  I also hope that Dan can fit the oscillating fan in the van along with our air mattresses, lawn chairs, board games and tote full of keebler cookies and marshmallows.  I also kind of hope we can put our tents in the shadow of my brothers camper.  That would be delightful.

Not sure how the pioneers did it.  Had to be rough trying to load those wagons........

Happy Camping!

Fast. Fresh. Italian.

Yesterday- the kids and I stopped at Fazolis for lunch.  The main reason was because we were out running errands and it got to be lunch time and we were starving.  The other reason is because I've been in a horrible funk and I failed to plan the day out well.  A good mom would have packed a picnic or simply fed them before leaving the house.  But this is me and my world feels off kilter and 'together' is not a word I would even begin to use to describe myself right now.  So we were hungry and not at home- we stopped the car.

So we sit down with our plates of pasta and dripping with butter breadsticks and eat.

Then Allyson finds a hair in her pasta.  I'm not one that gets all freaked out about that.  I guess it happens.  Just take it to the counter and get a fresh plate of food- problem solved.

So I take it up to the counter where the manager is and I whisper (as to not gross out any other customers) that there is a hair in her food. 

He takes the bowl from me and looks down in it.  Then he says he's not going to argue with me, but he doesn't see it.  What else did she want instead. 

Customer service at its finest.

I explained she'd really just like the same thing............hold the hair.  He said he'd bring it right out.

When he arrives at our table, he sets the meal in front of Allyson.  Then he says "You know, it could have come from anywhere.  All our girls wear hats, and I suppose it could have been mine but it was too long."

It's no wonder this man progressed to manager of this fine establishment.  His people skills are amazing.  No time at all he'll probably be transfered to the corporate office.  What an extraordinary man he was!

He's lucky I wasn't in the mood I'm in today.  He'd a' probably been wearin' that pasta.

*Fazolis did not sponsor this post nor did they pay me for my opinions.  They are all my own.  I chose to talk about this only because I felt like it.  You are welcome.

Tips

Sunday we got to take the kids to an Indians Baseball game.  Just as we got in the gate, the rain started to fall.  It was HEAVENLY.  Because here in Central Indiana ya'll?  It's been like an ungodly kind of furnace that has raged on for over a week.  We all just kind basked in the cold drops of heaven and watched them instantly sizzle on the concrete.  But after the rain it was a bit overcast, light breeze, cooler- perfect ball game weather!!!!!

But that is not the point here.

Before the first baseball cracked, the kids were wanting to go get their treat to eat during the game.  Emily finally decided on Dippin' Dots.  The sales gal was a tad pushy and may have been screaming out all the good qualities of her product and that might have had an effect on Emily.  Regardless, after perusing all the options, we came back and Emily picked from the three flavors they were offering.  The gal opened the freezer case, pulled out a small prepackaged bag of freeze dried ice cream (that I'm relatively sure she didn't make), handed it and a spoon to Emily and took the $5 bill from her hot little hand.  Turning to get Emily's $1 change she openly announced that she does accept tips.

Really?  And how's that working out for ya?  Because I've been at this ball field for less than an hour, climbed the stairs to our seats three separate times now, been to the restroom twice, and have walked these snack windows two times with my children.  I am dripping sweat hot, my hair is frizzy and I'm so thirsty I could die.  And YOU accept tips?  So do I chickie- but the jar is always empty.  Thanks for the $4 bag of $.50 ice cream!  Have a great day.

Jeesh.

You only get one chance to make a first impression........

So last Friday it happened.  Our neighbors, who we have been fairly close with over the past 8 years, loaded up all their stuff and moved.  Away.  Far away- Nevada. 

We will miss them.  But my real concern is our new neighbors.  Who are they, do they have children, are they good people, do they like to drive really fast in big bad loud cars, do they drive four wheelers around like crazy people and have dreams of building a dirt track in the back yard????????

I typically like to make something for new people in the neighborhood and deliver it to them.  It gives us a chance to meet them and to welcome them to our tiny world.  But the weekend wasn't the time.  I was too busy crazy busy and couldn't work it in.

So yesterday, Emily suggested we wash our hands and get to bakin'.  So we did.  Meanwhile, Sam and Ally are asking if we can go meet them.  Now?  Now?  Now?  I had to point out that #1 the cookies weren't done yet and #2 I wasn't dressed yet.  They would wait until the afternoon when we delivered the package.

Just so happens that while those two crazy kids were out in the yard playing, the neighbors were outside.  So they introduced themselves.  Sam mentioned that I would be brining over cookies later.  And that I couldn't come out to meet them right then because I was still in my pajamas.  It was noon.

Lord help me.

Later in the day I went over and delivered a small package of homemade cookie ice cream sandwiches, introduced myself and met the new man, woman and two boys who will be living all up in our business.  Even though I was in fact showered and dressed, I'm sure they already invision me as a sleep all day alcoholic chick. 

Thanks Sam.  Just great.

And when we weren't crying at the ocean or sleeping..........

This isthe final vacation post- I promise. 

 We got balloon animals (the pink panther- in case you are wondering).

 We contemplated buying my nephew a hermit crab as a souvenir- because I'm kind of evil.

 The view from our room to one of the pools- it would take like 20 minutes to get there.  First you'd wait (forever) for an elevator (because HELLO we were on the 21st floor and there were like 3000 other people staying there and most of them were jr. high age softball girls who like to press every.single.floor on the elevator to just be charming)- then go up and escalator- walk across the copper roof sky bridge, down the escalator- through the lobby (in my swimming suit- yay) and finally to the pool.  You can't tell- but Dan and the kids are over there in that pool in this picture.  And yes- it was raining.  And I totally went over and joined them- until it started lightening and then we all ran because I kind of attract lightening, apparently.

 We learned to shut off the flash on the camera when taking a picture against glass (side eye to Dan).

 We spent our hard earned saved up money on airbrushed ball caps.

 We swam.  lots.

 We sat on pretend alligators.

 While looking at real ones.

 We went out for girls only pedicures (I got the dude pedicurist- which sucked big eggs because I was uncomfortable)

 We wore our swimsuits out to lunch because the rest of our day was spent basically in the water.

 We enjoyed Dan's parents company.

 Ally perfected the handstand underwater, Sam learned to swim and Emily learned how to do flips under water.  They are all like little fish now.

 We posed like gangsters in the elevator.

 We saw this totally awesome guy preaching on a loudspeaker along the highway with scriptures on signs.

 We rode the public bus.  With four homeless men.  Who were hiding their brown paper bag bottles while one slept.  They were all tan with long hair and bahama mamish type t-shirts and flip flops.  No shopping carts.  No bags.  Just living life on the beach.  I think one of them might have been jimmy bufffet. 

We discovered that men on work release who do the landscaping work in Florida wear actual black and white striped clothes.  Which I found facinating.  I would have really preferred a better picture, like one with me posing with them, perhaps with one of the nearby law enforcement officials as well, but Dan wouldn't stop the car.  So this will have to do.

One more bit of info- sans picture (trust me, you'll appreciate that).  On our way to Florida and on the way home we drove straight through.  12 hours ish, mostly during the night.  Kids slept most of the way- it was really nice.  On our way TO Florida, we stopped at Cracker Barrell fir dinner because we ALWAYS stop at Cracker Barrell on long trips.  I'm not sure why, we just do.  Sam ordered pancakes, but didn't eat them.  Just a bite of sausage and then sucked down his chocolate milk while proclaiming how great it was.  He said it was magic and made him feel so much better (remember how he was a bit feverish before we left???)  He really was acting fine- just saying his belly hurt every now and then and then sleeping alot more.  We finish dinner, drive across the street to the gas station.  While pulling in, Sam declares he's gonna puke.  Dan keeps driving.  Until I begin screaming to stop the -bleep- bleep- bleep- car and open the -bleep- bleep- door.  Sam makes it to the gas station trash can, can't reach into the top and proceeds to hurl his little self up all over the concrete.  I clean him up, give him water to rinse his mouth with and say a silent prayer of thanksgiving that he didn't do this in the car while we are hundreds of miles from home.  It was then that I looked up.  Into the eyes of a man who is parked on the other side of the pump.......with his window down.........who just witnessed the grossed thing in history.  All I could really say was 'sorry' as I mopped up the concrete with my roll of paper towels.

And that was that.  Sam was fine afterward (thankfully).  And we finished driving across the country with no more vomit.  The end.

Next time we'll save our gas and just go to Ohio.

 These are not the gorgeous ocean photos I was hoping to share.  But these are the ones we got.  I'm not sure if it is effects from the oil spill, the season, or what but the entire coast was green with seaweed and smelled the same.

 These are the closest family beach photos I've got.  The first is Ally and Papaw swimming in the green ocean, and this one is Dan with Emily and Sam fleeing to the pool.  They were both hysterically grossed out by the whole ocean thing and they were out of there.

Every attempt to play in the waves was destroyed by Sam complaining and gagging about the smell...

And Emily sobbing about how horrible it was.  No sand castle building, no family surf play, no giggling in the waves, no laying on a towel watching my kids revol in God's creation.  None of that.

 But we did get to see a GORGEOUS rainbow that ended on the beach right outside our condo window and went all the way down the beach.  (I saw nothing like a pot of gold on either end by the way)

 Being the stuborn creature that I am, we did go out and float about in the water for a while.  Imagine if you will that this thick furry seaweedy stuff gets INSIDE of your swimsuit.  All over.  I looked like oscar the grouch when I stripped for the shower.  No- there is no picture.  You are welcome.

 It really was gross.

 Ally is the only one who enjoyed the beach.  We spent a few evenings digging up clams and small sea spiral suction cup things, got to take a nice walk one morning looking for shells and shared some fun times looking at the treasures she'd found.  She brought home a two liter full of sand, salt water and small creatures.  They all died.  The end.

 Here is Emily- crying.

And here is where we spent all of the rest of our time.  In the pool ocean.  The one without seaweed, sharks and salt.

At least somebody got some rest

 Have you ever seen somebody who pulls the blanket, literally, over their head when they sleep?  Sam does.  I find it hilarious every time. 

 On our vacation, it seems like every time I turned around Sam would be asleep.  All at once I would notice things were just a 'little' quieter and sure enough I would find him asleep somewhere.

 Apparently 6-8 hours of pool time a day was too much for the little guy.

 As soon as he'd get changed and set down after some high action pool swimming fun- he would zonk out.  This was at 5 o'clock in the evening as we drove to dinner.

It has made me realize something that is very important.  We.Need.A.Pool.